About 5 weeks ago I got a series of text message from a mysterious ghetto chick. She seemed to be a sweet teenage girl borrowing her friend or sister’s phone to text a boy named “princeten”, but somehow she texted me. So I did what anyone sworn to the PAO Code of Conduct, Oath of Destiny would do: I fucked with her. I don’t have a transcript of that communique, but suffice it to say Doctor Leo Spacemen left the poor girl(s) ego in shreds. Last night she had the misfortune of texting “princeten” again to ask him to the winter ball. This time, I hired a court stenographer cum limo driver and amateur typesetter to format the following transcription for your reading pleasure.
hey whats up? its ellen on laurens cell
Sup this is Dr. Leo Spacemen how can I help you today?
lol wow princeten… who are you asking to formal?
Probably should take Mrs. Spaceman don’t you think?
haha wow.. whos princely asking?
I don’t know who princely is but if he needs a date Mrs. Spaceman’s niece is getting divorced soon
lol ok princeten seriously can u be lajit right now?
If you mean I should say legitimate things to you, OK. Pineappleope.com
um no… and can you plz talk to me as u princeten?
This is not princeten. This is Dr. Leo Spaceman
stop lieing wheres princeten?
Like I said from the beginning. This is Dr. Leo Spacemen. I don’t know any princetons or princeten. I apologise profusely for any erroneous conclusions that you may have drawn. Ciao – Dr. Leo
wow ur a fag
At this point I had been chasing the dragon for so long that I simply passed out in a puddle of my own saliva. But fear not, if ellen or lauren ever comes knocking again, I will resume the dialog.