When you think of Lance, for most of you, a member of ‘N Sync comes to mind… for Pineappleope.com, LANCE® snacks. Members of the PAO Food and Drug Administration (PAOFDA) got their grubby hands on a package of Lance® Toast CheeTM Crackers – real Penut Butter. The PAOFDA developed a completely encompassing review…
*each score is out of a possible 10 – reviewers were drinking Tab the diet drink introduced in 1963 during the review
As a Lunch Food: 7
As a Dinner Food: 7
As Breakfast: 6.7
Apple’s 3g iphone (tresG for our Spanish speaking audience) has made its way into my hand this past weekend. The 3g has replaced my original iPhone, which was unable to stay in one piece during its short life (8months). The iPhone gets most its use for internet pornography (see:LubeTube) and checking stocks, mostly.
In my time with the 3g I have been somewhat satisfied. Lets run through some of the PROs:
1. it is black – black makes it looks cool and hip and can help get you into hard to get into clubs
2. its 3g – this phone actually rings when people call and makes phone calls when you make a call, unlike the original, which had connectivity issues
3. MazeFinger compatible – Mazefinger the app still works on the 3g.
4. Its louder – The phones speaker is noticably louder, which enhances some existing apps, like atomicFart
5. GPS is solid – I can now locate myself better, instead of a big circle surrounding the state i am in, the gps equipped iphone 3g can now pinpoint where im at. (note: it doesnt track how you got to said destination)
PAO staffer Lori “the load” Balancer got her hands on some new CHIPS. Since she only uses Twitter we got a quick review from her – here are the tweets, compounded and edited.
“The Cape Cod Potato Chips were in a small bag with alot of air. Opening the bag (see gallery) proved that there was really not much in the bag. Chips tasted potatoey. Not very salty and not fatty at all. Turns out they reduced the fat by 40%. Crunchy. Pen cap comparison shoes size. Though empty, bag is spacey enough for a hand.”
There comes a point in ones life when you would like to order some food because you ain’t got none at your residence. It happens this happened last night. A chicken bacon ranch sandwich from dominos was delivered and ate.
Dominos, while known for its tubesteakhamburgerzzafest pizza, makes a limited selection of sandwiches which are toasted. We had the chance to test the chicken bacon ranch.
The sandwich came in a box, similar to the pizza boxes from dominos, but smaller as you can imagine. So opening the sandwich was not much of a problem. One word of caution to our readers, if you are not familiar with pizza box, you may find the sandwich box tricky, to say the least.
Chicken Bacon Ranch itself was a trip. The bread tasted like bread sticks, the cheese was melted. There was a little bacon, not as much as I expected though, which definitely lost the sandwich a couple points. There was some ranch flavoring as well. The ranch didnt really make much of a difference, tastewise. Even if you dont like ranch, this sandwich won’t kill you, as there is little ranch flavoring. There was some chicken in the sandwich too, but you couldnt really tell.
When you think of ‘cheating with chocolate’ usually, 9 times out of 10, only one thing comes to mind. Pineappleope.com has had a chance to review an up and coming diet people snack food, “Sensible Portion’s Cheating with Chocolate, S’mores with milk chocolaty drizzle.” At only 100 calories, this snack food has little chance to fill you up. Despite the low cal-count(R), this food still packs a weighty net weight of .84oz.
What Sensible Portions has done here is disguised a regular nickle sized rice cake, with low quality chocolate ‘drizzle’. If you are not a fan of rice cake, there is no chance you will enjoy these ‘Drizzled mini crisps.’ I found myself neither enjoying or un-enjoying myself during my experience with this snack food. The fake marshmallow flavoring in the s’mores variety was pretty awful and definitely justified the “artificially flavored” label on the packaging. My mouth tastes like a combination of stale wheat and plastic and black coffee.
Baked Ruffles. Cheddar and Sour Cream flavor. This reviewer was pulled in not by the generic packaging which makes it blend into the other awful tasting baked chips, but by the Ruffles branding. They’ve got Ridges, ya know? Opening the chips was easy. Good, because I wanted to get to these chips fast. The bag is wide enough for a medium-large sized hand – I am not sure how fat people would fare here. It may require some further research and case studies. Later this year we may launch a focus group for such PAO testing.
The chips themselves – pretty uniform – same ridges everywhere with a good, bent, hexagonal shape. The orange cheese coating was really only on one side, and not as even as the ridgey texture. I found no sour cream in the bag. What’s up with that? You will note in the photos that the reviewer chose a tasty beverage to go with the sampling – Raspberry ZAZZ Seltzer water. Its ZAZZTASTIC. And goes well with the Cheddar and no sour cream chipsss.
Back to the Chips. Most baked chipss are horrible. Like eating cardboard with a hat. Those kinds get about 1 fizzy pump out of 10, because they have some crunch and some salt. Now, the Ruffles have more going for them, as you can see in the photos. With Ridges, cheese flavoring, and the consistent shape (really not many were broken), I wholeheartedly give these bad boys a solid 4 fizz pumps out of 10.