PAO Researchers have been holed up in their lab for days, tracking the menace to humanity known as HURRICANE JOAQUIN. They’ve emerged on Twitter to share their findings – and things are not good. Not good at all. The storm is “pounding the Bahamas like old timey Pirates” said one beleaguered researcher.
Marco Chillbox, head weather researcher at PAO Labs said:
“its a big storm.. like, unusually strong. We’ll need the posse formed ASAP. Like, we’re all fcked in the ear, big time”.
Using high-tech imaging software, they have come up with a models for this beast of a storm as it plans to erase North Carolina from the map:
They’ve also uncovered the EYE of this storm – and it has features unlike and storm in the history of THE EARTH. This indeed is bone-chilling news…
Pineappleope.com was on hand, this past weekend, at the circus – as per usual – covering the news coverage of the circus, the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey circus.
An acrobatics routine went awry when the trapeze snapped and the human chandelier crashed to the ground at terminal velocity speeds. Broken bones and severed legs were everywhere.
Here is the clip you have all been waiting to see:
“We have identified a clamp that snapped that held them to the rafters, and it failed,” Pineappleope.com field investigator Dave Dave’ins told Pineappleope.com editors a day after a support frame collapsed during the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey circus.
PAO scientists today have unveiled the latest, possibly most horrifying discovery in an ongoing spell of UFO and alien sightings. While there is still no answer as to WHY there have been so many close encounters of late – we can finally dispell one myth, that being the 9-9-9 end of the world theory. Thankfully, 9-10-9 has arrived and we are still here.. for now.
The newly discovered martian parasite attacks fish – for now – burrowing into the fish’s mouth, and then devours its &*(^@#@ing tongue!!! After eating the tongue – yes, EATING THE TONGUE – the little fcker proceeds to setup shop inside the fish’s mouth and live there. Talk about a housing crisis.. Sickeningly, the fish doesn’t seem to give a damn – nor does it seem to have trouble surviving with its new, nasty, evil tongue.
When asked his opinion, the alien to the right said “I do what I do, because I have to do it. The fish was running its mouth too much. The other fish wanted it to STFU – but it just would not. Kept talking about podcasts and Apple and other BS – seriously non-stop. I’m just doing my job here, don’t shoot the messenger and all that.”
“A giant, anvil-shaped cloud bubbles up towards the Earth’s stratosphere, looming over West Africa. The amazing formation would be invisible to anyone on the ground and would even be obscure from a regular passenger jet since they can reach up to 75,000ft. But astronauts captured the astonishing picture from hundreds of miles up as they orbited the globe on the International Space Station. Anvil clouds are formed mostly from ice and normally form in the upper parts of thunderstorms. They get their shape from the fact that rising warm air in thunderstorms expands and spreads out as the air bumps up against the bottom of the stratosphere. Streaks of snow are often seen falling out of the edges of anvils. This light snow usually evaporates as it falls through the relatively dry air surrounding the upper part of the thunderstorm.” w/ photos
WASHINGTON (Reuters) – The new strain of H1N1 flu is causing “something different” to happen in the United States this year — perhaps an extended year-round flu season that disproportionately hits young people, health officials said on Thursday.
BREAKING – H1N1 made the jump to bacterial form??? Read!
SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) – Nestle’s U.S. baking division said on Friday that it was voluntarily recalling its Toll House refrigerated cookie dough products after the U.S. Food and Drug Administration warned of the risk of contamination with E. coli bacteria.
Nestle said the FDA and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention were investigating reports of illnesses caused by E. coli O157:H7 in consumers who also reported having eaten raw cookie dough. E. coli can cause abdominal cramping, vomiting and diarrhea, the FDA said.
Lots of sports news here today, folks. The latest – ROBOTS PLAY SOCCER! Maybe its me but I have no desire to go up against ROBOTS. I mean – these things are FIERCE. Look how fast they are!! The footwork is still not up to par, but man, you know you couldn’t slide tackle one of these if the coach told you do. They’d clearly crush your skull.. now prepare for the most amazing 9:32 of your life to date.