[Religion] Fact: Jesus is into teabagging.

jesus loves teabags

You might ask.. “what is teabagging”.. well we gots the answer:

  • Dipping your testicles into the open mouth of another person. Kind of like dipping a tea bag in and out of a cup of water. I caught the mail man tea bagging my mom. She gagged.
  • In multiplayer video games, the act of repeatedly crouching over the face of a fallen opponent, who is forced to watch his/her body being violated while waiting to respawn into the level.  “You see me tea-bag that noob after I shot him in the back of the head? What a dumbass.”
  • Continue reading “[Religion] Fact: Jesus is into teabagging.”

God has entered the Twittersphere #god #OMG

“The old version of Scripture wasn’t really reaching people anymore,” He explained at a press conference where every question seemed to be anticipated before reporters could ask. “So I signed up for Twitter.com.”

Old version of Scripture “wasn’t reaching people anymore,” so Lord shrinks psalms and other stories to 140 characters each and “live blogs” the Last Supper.

To put this simply – Watch yo back, Twitterifica. God’s gonna RT @yourass for #eternity.  God’s got a nextgen Iphone already, and is gonna Twit it up, all day, all night, everywhere. Omipotent Tweets – they will be appearing in your Gmail, in your cereal, in your cous cous, and even on your Tivo. Yeah, he knows what you are recording – and he thinks its sick. You’ll hear about it – as will all of the rest of them.

Eating Easter Rabbit for Easter

eat easter rabbit This is the year to go out hunt yourself a rabbit and eat it. With the economy failing spending money on the easter holiday is out of the question. PAO Good Eats Rabbit Eating Tips:

1 When hunting for rabbit, select a rabbit by its size, the smaller the tenderer. A large rabbit’s meat tends to be tough

2 Shoot a younger rabbit for barbecuing or baking. Place a hunted older rabbit in the slow cooker and eat when tender

3 Eat the rabbit within several days of hunting or slaughtering. Rabbit tastes best when fresh and tends to dry out if frozen

4 Marinate the rabbit or wrap it in bacon or rub spices on its cold lifeless skin prior to baking or grilling to prevent the rabbit from drying out while cooking

5 Bake the your prized rabbit covered with slices of bacon across the top and placed in a pan. Put a little white wine in the bottom of the pan and cook at 325 until you can smell the cooking rabbit

It is very difficult to catch rabbit, but hunting a rabbit is easier. The best day to hunt for a rabbit for this Easter weekend is today.

[Religious Experiences] PAO explains #238: “god and jesus”

godPAO’s ongoing quest to tell you everything about everything continues! Today, we approach a very sticky subject.. “god and jesus”. These two guys have names that get dropped more than some people’s Iphones. There are books, movies, and sandwiches crafted after them. People worship them, asking for everything from miracles to fishing conditions to russian mail order brides**.
your religion scares me
PAO editors and researchers scoured the internet long and hard for answers. Answers for you and me.. none of that metaphysical crap. Today, we announce that we’ve figured it all out. The answer was so simple we could not believe it ourselves, until it was reverified by the actual truth that it was, by itself and to none other. Thy god is thy truth, so it were. Consider us enlightened.

WHO IS GOD AND JESUS? read on to find out… Continue reading “[Religious Experiences] PAO explains #238: “god and jesus””