You might ask.. “what is teabagging”.. well we gots the answer:
Dipping your testicles into the open mouth of another person. Kind of like dipping a tea bag in and out of a cup of water. I caught the mail man tea bagging my mom. She gagged.
In multiplayer video games, the act of repeatedly crouching over the face of a fallen opponent, who is forced to watch his/her body being violated while waiting to respawn into the level. “You see me tea-bag that noob after I shot him in the back of the head? What a dumbass.”
What more could be said? We’ve finally figured out a way to call Jesus on the telephone. The Iphone got us most of the way there – but the real trick was using pieces of several iphones and their apps!
“The old version of Scripture wasn’t really reaching people anymore,” He explained at a press conference where every question seemed to be anticipated before reporters could ask. “So I signed up for Twitter.com.”
Old version of Scripture “wasn’t reaching people anymore,” so Lord shrinks psalms and other stories to 140 characters each and “live blogs” the Last Supper.
To put this simply – Watch yo back, Twitterifica. God’s gonna RT @yourass for #eternity. God’s got a nextgen Iphone already, and is gonna Twit it up, all day, all night, everywhere. Omipotent Tweets – they will be appearing in your Gmail, in your cereal, in your cous cous, and even on your Tivo. Yeah, he knows what you are recording – and he thinks its sick. You’ll hear about it – as will all of the rest of them.
PAO’s ongoing quest to tell you everything about everything continues! Today, we approach a very sticky subject.. “god and jesus”. These two guys have names that get dropped more than some people’s Iphones. There are books, movies, and sandwiches crafted after them. People worship them, asking for everything from miracles to fishing conditions to russian mail order brides**.
PAO editors and researchers scoured the internet long and hard for answers. Answers for you and me.. none of that metaphysical crap. Today, we announce that we’ve figured it all out. The answer was so simple we could not believe it ourselves, until it was reverified by the actual truth that it was, by itself and to none other. Thy god is thy truth, so it were. Consider us enlightened.