As a professional tech writer and original blogger, when I first saw that the iPhone 6 was getting a dose of Viagra, I could not have been more jolly. Most people don’t know what is so great about this. I figured instead of talking and writing about it, I’d just hammer out the top, top top reasons – so you get get in line RIGHT NOW.
Chicks. Love. Bigger. You will get laid if you flash this device around. Instantly.
Porn! Big screen! YESS.
Think how much that mongo thing vibrates – your wife will love it.
SLOW MO CAMERA – film those things you always wanted to, in SLOMO
It is weaponized.
Stops more bullets than a normal iPhone 6.
Can serve as dinner plate.
Double those “happy to see me?” comments
Excuse to wear big baggy pants like a THUG
Packs huge speakers – its a new age boom box, bitch.
Longer chassis makes for easier upskirt shooting.
TOP NOTCH sexting with that sick forward facing camera. Full frontal sexting anyone???
It is widely expected Apple will blow minds with its iPhone 4.0 update announcement tomorrow. With Apple’s event just over 24 hours away, we knew it would be a good idea to recap the most likely true OS 4.0 rumors. The big event starts tomorrow morning at 10AM PDT. What we’ve got here is the most official assembled list of iPhone OS 4.0 rumors…
3D Support – With 3D movies going big time these days, Apple plans on patching the iPhone to allow users to experience 3D on their handset while wearing stereoscopic glasses.
Multitasking – The second most persistent rumor is multitasking for applications. As it stands the iPhone OS is not the best at multi-tasking, and users are mad as hell. Newest rumors have the new OS having an Exposé-like feature which would make the iPhone easy to use and a multi-tasker.
4 Way Phone Calls – Easily one of the most demanded features, the ability to talk to three others at the same time. Great for business meetings and for calling Quest.
One Email Box – Users have been clamoring for a global inbox which could hold a mash-up of all email. This update would make for significantly better emailing on the iPhone. But does this mean you’d get the same newsletters twice in the same inbox?
OS Themes – Plan on personalizing your phone to be as unique as you think you are. New themeing capabilitys are a shoe-in for this OS update.
New iPad Features – Expect to see a lot of, if not all, iPad features included in this OS update. Such as the ability to read a book or read a book and listen to music, at the same time.
Compass Upgrade (3GS only) – Rumor has it the compass feature will get an update… no one is sure what kind of update though.
This writer’s honest opinion is a solid MEH . Its not very different and in fact gets more annoying when scrolling through app screens since all the way left = search. I don’t want to search. I just want my goddamn fart apps.
What more could be said? We’ve finally figured out a way to call Jesus on the telephone. The Iphone got us most of the way there – but the real trick was using pieces of several iphones and their apps!
Yup, PAO was there, watching someone else liveblog, so that we can unblog this event for you. WWDC is the Why Would Devices Crap event – a very exciting thing for the past several years Apple announces amazing things like Iphone Nanos and Ipods and Macbooks oh my.
News is crushing the wire right now about how much it SUCKED this year. The “new” Iphone, aka, 3Gs – not to be confused with multiple “old” iphones 3G’s, is a whole big pile of baloney. Its faster and it has a compass. Otherwise, its no nano, it has no new buttons, no front-facing camera, is not a tablet, cannot dispense pez, or do anything else cool.
Hell, Steve Jobs never even appeared. He was there and just never decided to get on stage – rumor has it, he had a Palm Pre and was playing some wicked apps on it. Why read the interwebs when its all a big pile of donkey crap? Here at PAO, we are going to have say BOO and wait for the actual Iphone Nano to come out. We thought they’d slip it in there today but not yet, I guess its still a bit shakey.
And there’s one more thing. AT&T – unable to provide MMS support for the phone. Still. Hey ATT, you had MMS for POS phones like 9 years ago – how is it possible you cannot do it today? So lame.
To summarize this event – PAO says – don’t be a sucker.
“The old version of Scripture wasn’t really reaching people anymore,” He explained at a press conference where every question seemed to be anticipated before reporters could ask. “So I signed up for Twitter.com.”
Old version of Scripture “wasn’t reaching people anymore,” so Lord shrinks psalms and other stories to 140 characters each and “live blogs” the Last Supper.
To put this simply – Watch yo back, Twitterifica. God’s gonna RT @yourass for #eternity. God’s got a nextgen Iphone already, and is gonna Twit it up, all day, all night, everywhere. Omipotent Tweets – they will be appearing in your Gmail, in your cereal, in your cous cous, and even on your Tivo. Yeah, he knows what you are recording – and he thinks its sick. You’ll hear about it – as will all of the rest of them.
Apple’s 3g iphone (tresG for our Spanish speaking audience) has made its way into my hand this past weekend. The 3g has replaced my original iPhone, which was unable to stay in one piece during its short life (8months). The iPhone gets most its use for internet pornography (see:LubeTube) and checking stocks, mostly.
In my time with the 3g I have been somewhat satisfied. Lets run through some of the PROs:
1. it is black – black makes it looks cool and hip and can help get you into hard to get into clubs
2. its 3g – this phone actually rings when people call and makes phone calls when you make a call, unlike the original, which had connectivity issues
3. MazeFinger compatible – Mazefinger the app still works on the 3g.
4. Its louder – The phones speaker is noticably louder, which enhances some existing apps, like atomicFart
5. GPS is solid – I can now locate myself better, instead of a big circle surrounding the state i am in, the gps equipped iphone 3g can now pinpoint where im at. (note: it doesnt track how you got to said destination)