[EXCLUSIVE] State-By-State Ranking of Schlong Size!

PAO interns at the summer picnic

Rarely does a day go by where a lady does not ask me: ” what state has the longest dongs and biggest balognas in the country???” The PAO Intern staff is always asking this, especially.

It used to be annoying – because I DID NOT KNOW the answer until NOW.

Finally I sent the interns on a quest – an informative research trip! After 232 days of very careful research by the PAO Interns – measuring twice on every occasion, a gigantic sampling of meat has been measured!!! This is LEGIT STUFF. Be prepared to have your MIND BLOWN.

Here it is: the official DONG measurement rankings!!  Continue reading “[EXCLUSIVE] State-By-State Ranking of Schlong Size!”

[How To] Make your best friend sterile – video

using ABCDEF Life Skills

PAO interns had one task this past summer – bust each others balls. Literally. Break them to bits. However, there was a rule – being – make the other guy do it to himself! It was a very challenging challenge – think about it. Bob, go make Joe break his own cajones. Joe doesn’t want to, obviously – so how does Bob get him to do it? The art of deception, of course!

Well, as you ought to know by now, the PAO Intern Contest of 2009 produced some smart friggin kids. Check out this video to see how they handled our task, using the patented PAO “ABCDEF Life Skills” of Assholery, Busting Nuts, Chucking Logs, Douchebaggery, Extreme Awesomeness, and Fucking Over Your Friends.

Weekend UPDATE

Yeah, its weekend time again – the time when PAO editors lodge themselves into rooms and closets, absorbing the sweet chance to dive into AOL chat rooms and play Worlds of Warcrafters until not 3am, but now 5am! Yes! Who doesn’t love the chance? 

We quizzed some passersbys, such as Intern Eddy Comida who said “i am gonna hamma my dishwasha and have a pahty!”.  Thanks for that, Eddy. 

Another intern from our USSR office claimed she was going to do nothing but chat online to hook up and possibly fly to America on Saturday or Sunday. Other interns – add your 2 rupies.

There you have it – big plans all around. SEE YOU IN WOW!