The Pineappleope Spirit


Today our intrepid leader became a living symbol of the commitment PAO leadership has for brining pineappleopiness to readers everywhere. Despite gale-force sleepiness and deafening alarm clock tones, our Editor-at-large rose at the bloody crack in order to be here for an important SEO meeting. SEO, for those that don’t know, stands for Salad a la Endive with Oil, and promises to drive our brand of hard hitting crack pipes and unvarnished crack reporting to even more of you, the unwashed masses. His arrival time was probably close to 9am, which is at least an hour earlier than anyone has ever been before.

New SEO work could renew talks of a Pineappleope.com partnership with the Brazilian UFO Research Network (BURN). BURN made headlines last month after failing a hostile takeover attempt of Pineappleope Industries Limited, the holding company for Pineappleope.com. Sources inside BURN have said the group is still open to a merger and/or acquisition.
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Your Brains, on our cameras.

You know PAO is smart, right? But did you know.. we are smarter than YOU? We are in fact, brain surgeons as hobbiests. Like, we know brains so well, we don’t get paid for it – its what we do for fun around here. Crazy huh? Well that’s how PAO brings you all the cutting edge shit around here.

So this week, we used our new BRAIN SCAN machine. From a distance, we monitored the famous MC CHILL, and shockingly, this is what the scanner showed us. This is what goes on in that dude’s head.. all day. All night. All through meals. All through his factose intolerant verbal diarrheal assaults on coworkers.