Killer Africanized Giant Fighting Desert Lobsters.. Their time draws nigh.

girl-kissing-lobsterSummer draws to an end, and in the desert regions of the world – it is a time of fear. Little is known about the infamous, yet terrifying DESERT LOBSTER – however rumor experts speculate that the beasts have come from hell and are made of 100% vengeance.

lobsterWhile sightings are infrequent.. disappearances are all too common at this time of year. We have reason to believe these revenge driven crustaceans are abducting and devouring people as redemption for the annual slaughter that we call summer. Lobster rolls, lobster bisque, lobster lobster.. it all equates to death, to these angry arthropods. While you like to dunk yours in butter.. these beasts just dunk you in DEATH. Beware. We beg you to avoid deserts for the next 6 weeks – as they desert lobster returns to the sea in early October – suspiciously around Columbus Day, in fact. No link has been made to Columbus specifically, however researchers are investigating this link currently.

For dreaful, detailed information on Africanized Desert Lobsters, please read on. We cut the quote short as it is very tragic and graphic,thus not suited for young audiences.

desert lobster

The lobsters are very fast, moving at speeds up to 35 miles per hour 56.32704 kph. One of their primary tactics involves lying still in tall grass until tourists on safari inadvertently go near. The lobster then latches upside down from the bottom of the vehicle and punctures the fuel tank with its poisonous stinger, injecting a delicious sugary venom that stalls the vehicle. Having rendered the safari helpless, it attacks the people inside and devours them whole. Head first in most cases… read more at Killer Africanized Giant Fighting Desert Lobster.