10. The Creation Of The World Through Self-PleasureAccording to many Ancient Egyptian texts, the God Amun created the world. One version of the story alleges he did this by “jerking off” into the Nile, thus creating his children. This is the clean version. The dirty version involves Amun blowing himself and spitting out his seed. Don’t judge him. If you were an infinitely flexible deity with no one else around and nothing to do, you’d try it.So, this “spit seed,” it falls on the ground near the fertile banks of the Nile, and children are born. This is one of the most obscene metaphors for “male-female, morally-approved sex” in world history. Indeed, Amun was known as the father of not only the world, but the Gods as well. Let it forever be known that “hedge hogging” is a great way to move up the Ancient Egyptian deity ladder.
Read the rest of this awesomeness over at 10 Outrageously Sexual Egyptian Legends.