[How To] Avoid a Dog Attack – Dog Attack Defense Day ’09

Today, December 21, Citizens around the globe are celebrating ‘Dog Attack Defense Day’. Pineappleope.com is doing our part to save lives and limbs of PAO readers. Here are PAO’s Dog Attack Defense tips:

Step 1. Never, EVER, look an angry dog in the eye.

Step 2. Things NOT to do:

*Do not let him get behind you! Dogs naturally attack from behind.
*Do not baby talk! That’s a sign of submission and gives the dog the upper hand.
*Do not smile! That’s as good as bearing your teeth to an attacking dog.
*Do not run away! You won’t get far!

Step 3. If the dog is charging, do the following.

*You MUST face the attacking dog! Turn your body towards it but don’t look at it. (This goes against our instincts, but it must be done.)
*Place anything you might be carrying infront of you. A purse, backpack, ect.
*Look away from the dog, but not WAY away. Head up, turned SLIGHTLY away from Fido, and keep him in your pereferal vision. The dog must be able to see your face to read it.
*Make yourself BIG. Put your hands on your hips and keep your chin up. Stand tall!
*Stay calm.

Step 4. Now comes the really interesting part.
You must “radiate” your intentions. Wait, don’t close the page! This isn’t newage mumbo-jumbo. Our bodies have been reflecting our thoughts through body language since our earliest ancenstors. So here is what you must think and feel:
“I do not want to fight, but I will not back down. This is my space. I do not want to intrude on yours.”
Repeat this in your mind over and over until you see a change in Spike.

Step 5. After some time, the first sign of acceptance by the dog should be him looking away. Don’t be fooled, you’re still his main focus, he’s just telling you that you’re not lunch any more. He may continue to bark, and follow, but he’s much less likely to harm you.

Step 6. Back away slowly. Once you’re at a comfortable distance, you may turn and keep walking, then Fucking Sprint! Chicken Voila, you’re unscathed!

* Keep in mind – Like most tactics, this tactic isn’t fool proof. All I can say is that it’s worked every time I’ve been attacked. Dogs are getting smarter, they may have already found a work around…