Top Reasons to get the iPhone 6 Plus

iphone 4s aka iphone 5As a professional tech writer and original blogger, when I first saw that the iPhone 6 was getting a dose of Viagra, I could not have been more jolly. Most people don’t know what is so great about this. I figured instead of talking and writing about it, I’d just hammer out the top, top top reasons – so you get get in line RIGHT NOW.

  1. Chicks. Love. Bigger. You will get laid if you flash this device around. Instantly.
  2. Porn! Big screen! YESS.
  3. Think how much that mongo thing vibrates – your wife will love it.
  4. SLOW MO CAMERA  – film those things you always wanted to, in SLOMO
  5. It is weaponized.
  6. Stops more bullets than a normal iPhone 6.
  7. Can serve as dinner plate.
  8. Double those “happy to see me?” comments
  9. Excuse to wear big baggy pants like a THUG
  10. Holster.
  11. PORn
  12. Packs huge speakers – its a new age boom box, bitch.
  13. Longer chassis makes for easier upskirt shooting.
  14. TOP NOTCH sexting with that sick forward facing camera. Full frontal sexting anyone???

[Apple] iTouch 4G Unveiled

Another iPod you don’t need… the iTouch 4G

“The iTouch 4G is 4 users who want the iPhone experience sans AT&T and Calling – Bill Paxwell, Apple iPod Engineer

INTERESTING FACTOIDS:

DUEL COLORS! Black and Blackish-White!

Monochrome Screen switch – for saving battery life! (45 days stand-by on single charge)

2MP camera, for sexting*

iBook functionality, 10 free iBooks (selected by iBook inventor)

Integrated Microphone for recording nature sounds

*with wi-fi connection

[Apple] Official iPhone 4.0 OS Update Rumor Roundup

It is widely expected Apple will blow minds with its iPhone 4.0 update announcement tomorrow. With Apple’s event just over 24 hours away, we knew it would be a good idea to recap the most likely true OS 4.0 rumors. The big event starts tomorrow morning at 10AM PDT. What we’ve got here is the most official assembled list of iPhone OS 4.0 rumors…

3D Support – With 3D movies going big time these days, Apple plans on patching the iPhone to allow users to experience 3D on their handset while wearing stereoscopic glasses.

Multitasking – The second most persistent rumor is multitasking for applications. As it stands the iPhone OS is not the best at multi-tasking, and users are mad as hell. Newest rumors have the new OS having an Exposé-like feature which would make the iPhone easy to use and a multi-tasker.

4 Way Phone Calls – Easily one of the most demanded features, the ability to talk to three others at the same time. Great for business meetings and for calling Quest.

One Email Box – Users have been clamoring for a global inbox which could hold a mash-up of all email. This update would make for significantly better emailing on the iPhone. But does this mean you’d get the same newsletters twice in the same inbox?

OS Themes – Plan on personalizing your phone to be as unique as you think you are. New themeing capabilitys are a shoe-in for this OS update.

New iPad Features – Expect to see a lot of, if not all, iPad features included in this OS update. Such as the ability to read a book or read a book and listen to music, at the same time.

Compass Upgrade (3GS only) – Rumor has it the compass feature will get an update… no one is sure what kind of update though.

Secret Easter Eggs – As with the last 3.0 update, when several easter eggs were included, you will most likely see more easter eggs.

…This list of rumors is growing. If you or a friend is a v3.0 iPhone user and would like to contribute to this list email: iphone@pineappleope.com

[iTablet Preview] PAO’s Roundup of the upcoming iTablet. If you can’t wait 2 more days..

What we KNOW

– its called the iTablet

– its coming to Verizon and ATT

– it will use the AppLibrary – not the AppStore

– it will read ebooks

– it will have full screen apps

– it is has fully integrated wireless N and asynchronous GPS

– it will replace your iphone and your ipod

– it will blow your fcking mind

– it will require you to have a European Carry-All (cool!)

– it will have an OLED screen

– you will get laid if you have one

What we don’t know

– will it cure herpes?

– will it work on TMobile

– will it have a front facing camera?

– how is its Sexting abilities?

– can it stream porn?

– can it play DIVX porn?

– will it have multi touch porn apps?

– how many fart apps will run on it at the same time?

– can my mom use it?

– can your mom use it?

And the big question.. WTF does it look like?? Here are the best renderings we’ve got:

Continue reading “[iTablet Preview] PAO’s Roundup of the upcoming iTablet. If you can’t wait 2 more days..”

[How to] Prepare for the next Apple event! Do it RIGHT this time.

Even being Apple Insiders here at PAO, this Apple Event kinda snuck up on us. Not extensively, but usually the fart winds of this bullshit storm start getting loud many moons before the actual explosion of marketing garbage. We have gotten many complaints today, in fact, about folks only tuning in to see the live blog, but no “foreplay” rumor posts. Well.. we apologize. Maybe you missed some of the other big stories we’ve had lately – those take up time, so STFU and SMD.

Anyway, here’s a little helper, to help you help yourself. How to spread a rumor: