[swine flu] H1N1 SWINE FLU Outbreak! Track the spread, live – ONLY on PAO!

PAO CIO franklin peestone battles Swine Flu daily
PAO CIO Franklin Peestone battles Swine Flu with his personal army of pigeons
I never would have guessed it.. but the time has come. Bird flu was a scam, a lie, a cheat – and now look, Swine Flu has pounced on our asses like stink on a flu ridden pig. PAO offices are all abuzz over this outbreak, fortunately with no cases reported yet. Staff scientists have been recruited away to NASA’s testing grounds, unfortunately, so we cannot work on our own remedy this week. What we can do, fortunately, is help YOU track it.

The flu is tracking its way up through Mexico, and then exploding across the country in a never-before-seen type of epidemic. Some rumors are flying that the US Government is calling on Milla Jovovich for advice on how to handle such a situation. Milla, as you know, has much experience battling epidemics – primarily those involving zombies.

milla1Jovovich did say “they all start like this.. its always the pigs. America had better get ready.” Fortunately for us – no one complains when Milla comes to town. She tends to not wear a lot of clothes and carries all kinds of weapons. She continued “when I battle the early onset of an outbreak, I start going after the swine with blunt objects.”

Below, PAO Researcher Chaz Reinhold displays his data findings from the weekend. He will be updating this map hourly throughout his tracking of the disease from a secret underground lair.

Track the flu NOW:

View H1N1 Swine Flu in a larger map

13 Replies to “[swine flu] H1N1 SWINE FLU Outbreak! Track the spread, live – ONLY on PAO!”

  1. Europe is getting fucked by SWINE FLU. Check out all that action on your SWINE FLU TRACKER. I am hopeful my hometown does not get hit.

    Also, does swine flu have anything to do with wine?

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