PAO correspondents working in an unprecedented multilateral team have scooped the real story on the stress tests being performed on American banks earlier this week. Bank of America was the big winner, with a need to raise over 30 billion in additional capital to keep lending. But does the average world citizen know what this really means? Of course not. But now you will.
Are you an Italian? I don’t mean an Italian-American, but an actual Italian national. You will be. Pineappleope superstar reporter J. Largebuck uncovered a mass of hidden backroom deals made by powerful men to transfer the entire United States economy into the hands of the sovereign state of Italy.
Did you know that the Bank of America was originally the Bank of Italy, established in 1904 and now one of the wealthiest corporations in the United States as well as the rest of the world. Even PAO World Bank cannot touch it. Neither can MC Hammer.
Lee Iaccoca, the son of Italian immigrants, and former president of the Chrysler corporation, is 84 years old this year. Happy Birthday Lee!
La Cosa Nostra and the Vatican have tons of influence now over the American economy. One of North America’s largest industries is auto manufacture, and Chrysler is a huge US based automaker. Last week, much control of Chrysler was relinquished to Italian automaker Fiat.
Are you seeing a trend here?
Even PAO Corp. Ltd. is not immune to capital needs. Our own stress tests concluded that PAO needed to raise an addtional 375 US Dollars to survive another serious economic downturn. So we have decided to liquidate some important journalism equipment. Call today and we might throw in a $10 discount for folks with pineappleope.com tshirts (homemade t-shirts are fine, as long as you wear them out drinking or sweating at the gym). Just make sure those shirts are not made in Italy.