Massive kitty porn seizure links biker gang to incarcerated Kansas City mob boss.
Once again, PAO investigators have used a bewildering array of brick-and-mortar skills to track down and expose the nefarious wrongdoings of the undead in Western California.PAO tipped off authorities to the criminal enterprise late Saturday evening; by the end of Catholic Mass all of its leaders and 17 soldiers were under arrest and in custody.Operating in disguise as a harmless Biker’s Who Love Kittys chapter, BHLK Local 571 has been terrorizing the weak and infirm in the area for decades. The kingpin, Fluffy, appeared to menace photographers moments before her arrest.
PAO was tipped off to the location of the kitty-porn ring by hidden messages in a posthumously published Hawaiian Bible found in the possession of zombie boss “Stripes” Calducci, who was arrested on conspiracy charges in Kansas City last spring. After months and months of work by skilled Pineappleope Senior Analyst J.D. Higginsbottom, we finally cracked the code found in several passages, and of course used lots and lots of LDAP. The actual text of the translation speaks better than anything else. As found in Matthew 6:9-13, the Lord’s Prayer:
“God, you our Fadda.
You stay inside da sky.
We like all da peopo know fo shua how you stay,
An dat you stay good an spesho,
An we like dem give you plenny respeck.
We like you come King fo everybody now.
We like everybody make jalike you like,
Ova hea inside da world,
Jalike da angel guys up inside da sky make jalike you like.
Give us da food we need fo today an every day.
Hemmo our shame, an let us go
Fo all da kine bad stuff we do to you,
Jalike us guys let da odda guys go awready,
And we no stay huhu wit dem
Fo all da kine bad stuff dey do to us.
No let us get chance fo do bad kine stuff,
But take us outa dea, so da Bad Guy no can hurt us.
Cuz you our King.
You get da real power,
An you stay awesome foeva.