Yes, national averages now top 10%. Unemployment continues to rise, but the untold story is not the economy. In journalism circles, that would be known as the told story. The untold story is robots. As the video below the fold shows, Honda (the same company that brought you wind-powered surfboards) is now creating robots that will be able to take your job. Even this poor rock eater now finds himself out of work. Please share this story on your facebook pages, and get the word out to fix our economy: Boycott Honda.
Crack PAO correspondent Largebuck interviewed the Rock Eater just days after he lost his job.
Largebuck: Were you given any idea that you were about to be terminated before it happened?
Rock Eater: No way man. Working for The Neverending Story, you know, you just think it will never end.
Largebuck: Yes, I can see how you might get that. Were any other stars laid off due to robot labor?
Rock Eater: You know, it all happened so fast man, and like, TNS was so secretive about it, I don’t really know the full extent of it yet. I do know that Falkor is still there. Lucky fucking dragon.
Largebuck: I don’t remember you talking like this in the movie. Are you, um, stoned?
Rock Eater: I am an actor, dammit. I didn’t talk like this in the movie cuz I was in character.
Largebuck: You seem to be avoiding my question.
Rock Eater: Look bro, I am out of work and may have drug tests coming up. I may have eaten some second hand stones at a party or something, I don’t know. Next question.
Largebuck: Any thoughts about your future?
Rock Eater: All I know is, I am not ever buying another Honda product again. Like, never.
Rock Eater’s dismissal is surprising, many in the industry felt he had real staying power. This is not the first time his job at TNS has been in jeopardy, however. In 1996, a little known statue from Puerto Vallarta seemed poised to take over his role. Rock Eater’s retribution was swift however, he simply swallowed the competition. But against Honda’s massive assembly lines, rock eater doesn’t stand a chance.
Honda executives refused to comment. We will let this video speak for itself:
Correction: Our loyal readers pointed out that we made a spelling error in this article. The luck dragon’s name is spelled Falcor. PAO offers its thanks, and promises to send all staffers spell-correcting tape recorders for all future field interviews.