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[BREAKING] Hurricane Joaquin Approaching AMERICA

PAO Researchers have been holed up in their lab for days, tracking the menace to humanity known as HURRICANE JOAQUIN. They’ve emerged on Twitter to share their findings – and things are not good. Not good at all. The storm is “pounding the Bahamas like old timey Pirates” said one beleaguered researcher.

Marco Chillbox, head weather researcher at PAO Labs said:

“its a big storm.. like, unusually strong. We’ll need the posse formed ASAP. Like, we’re all fcked in the ear, big time”.

Using high-tech imaging software, they have come up with a models for this beast of a storm as it plans to erase North Carolina from the map: hurricaneOMG

They’ve also uncovered the EYE of this storm – and it has features unlike and storm in the history of THE EARTH. This indeed is bone-chilling news…

Continue reading “[BREAKING] Hurricane Joaquin Approaching AMERICA”

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[BREAKING] Samsung Galaxy S5 EVENT SHOCKER

PAO analysts have determined a shocking and disturbing breaking news event!! Samsung is currently showing a live stream of their Galaxy S5 SuperPhone.. but its nothing but a symphony playing the theme song to 3’s Company. Its a strange choice, but no one can stop listening.

What’s so wrong with that, you ask? IT HAS SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES. That is why they wont’ stop playing it!!! THERE is no announcement! They are drilling it into your brain right NOW! BEWARE!!!

GO see for yourself, after the breaaaak!  Continue reading “[BREAKING] Samsung Galaxy S5 EVENT SHOCKER”

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[Review] Macy Gray on David Letterman, May 9th 2012

Terrible. Your new CD is a cover CD. Great Job you earned 0 points out of a possible 10.

“Macy Gray’s big bad comeback, and her rendition of Radio Head’s ‘Creep’ was the saddest moment in this new decade for me. I hope this does not set the stage for the rest of the decade” -G

Macy Gray Bogus Bonus

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[WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE] Looking for the Hacker who Hacked Pineappleope.com

The impossible has happened. PAO had been hacked. Over the course of the past 24 hours, you have may experienced a poor PAO experience. Your less-than-stellar PAO experience was caused by a code injection from a talented yet stupid hacker.

PAO is offering mucho rewards for information leading to the Hackers capture and lifetime imprisonment. Informing PAO of the hackers name will get you an Official XMAS 2011 Edition Pineappleope.com T-shirt.

Bonus if you bring in this The Net hacker:

Lets bring this hacker to justice.

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How to Make it in Music in 1988

The skilled staff writers of PAO search and scour the ends of the Internet to help you succeed as a human being. Whether its sharing the hottest fashion trends, or epic career advice, we have it. You will be a better person for visiting here, almost guaranteed – and today’s post is a 100% bona-fide piece of video gold.

Today we have something special.. its expert advice from 1988, yes, the future everyone, on how to MAKE IT IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY. Thank us later.

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[Dance Lesson] The Double Dream Feet

Dance Students said what:

“ive never felt so gay violated in my whole life”
– cstunts44

“Well maybe his boyfriend is amused because I surly am not.”
– deadra

“I’m winded.”
– Ray C

“He’s not really that bad of a dancer. Grown ass people watching dance instructions for kids is obviously not going to like it… Try putting up a clip of Barney and expect not to be creeped out.”
– Judsparrow

“@Judsparrow what are grown ass people?”
– cstunts44

“@Judsparrow, @cstunts44 Yeah what are grown ass people?”
– deadra