[How To] Make Someone Shut Up

Do you know someone who just won’t be quiet when you want them to? Do they just talk and talk and make you want to put a gun to your head? Well, here are possible steps to shut them up.

arnold shut up

1. If they start talking to you, look away.
2. Pretend that they aren’t there and walk away
3. If they ask why you’re ignoring them, don’t answer their question.
4. Keep avoiding them for as long as possible until they get the message and stop talking to you.
5. Don’t ever smile
6. Make up medical excuse, escape the situation
7. Just tell them to shut up. Be serious about this and don’t show them you’re joking.
8. If in doubt, just ask the person to be quiet.
9. Tell them that you don’t care about what they’re saying. And to shut up
10. Walk away, walk it off
11. Find a way to keep their mouth closed, possibly with force.

[How to] Prepare for the next Apple event! Do it RIGHT this time.

Even being Apple Insiders here at PAO, this Apple Event kinda snuck up on us. Not extensively, but usually the fart winds of this bullshit storm start getting loud many moons before the actual explosion of marketing garbage. We have gotten many complaints today, in fact, about folks only tuning in to see the live blog, but no “foreplay” rumor posts. Well.. we apologize. Maybe you missed some of the other big stories we’ve had lately – those take up time, so STFU and SMD.

Anyway, here’s a little helper, to help you help yourself. How to spread a rumor:

[Silence] Blow Gun VS Annoying Co-workers

Take down your annoying co-workers in silence: The blow gun. The choice stealth weapon for taking down everyday opponents.

A blowgun (also called a blowpipe or blow tube) is a deadly weapon consisting of a small tube for firing deadly projectiles such as darts. The wielder blows into one end, forcing the dart out the other as high velocity.




Checkout our FULL Blow Gun Review -Jungle Blow Gun (The JBG)

** Also worth mentioning, Scissors can do the job – Slightly less silent but are easily accessible in an office environment, or when your blow gun is just out of reach.

[wedding announcements] jerbear and alycia tie the knot, John reported distraught #plus 8 #matrimonial bliss

jerbear and alycia tied the knot yesterday in a quiet ceremony in Lynn, MA, that promptly erupted into a teenage dance party. Many people ended up being arrested for MDMA posession, prompting Cambridge police to leave their own jurisdiction to make additional false arrests. Arrest records have yet to be expunged from LDAP. The happy couple will be honeymooning at an undisclosed location under heavily armed guard, due to recent threats from a disgruntled construction worker known on the Internet only as “John”. John did not respond to requests to be interviewed, and may have already escaped to join the Foreign Legion.

President Obama today spoke out against the Cambridge Police.

We have recieved exclusive footage of the wedding ceremony!