National Donut Day 2011

In observance of National Donut Day, the following vendors are offering FREE donuts:

  • Krispy Kreme offers a free donut with no purchase necessary at participating US/CAN retail locations
  • Dunkin Donuts offers a free donut with beverage purchase at participating locations
  • Tim Hortons offers a free donut with beverage purchase (printable coupon)

[Mailbag] Orgasm on a Rollercoaster!!

Today we reach, deep into that sack known as the mailbag. Yup, its been a while, and boy do we have a good one today – literally, a question for the AGES, thanks to Marcy32 in Kansas for asking this one!

Q: My boyfriend is awful in the sack. I’m a horny girl. I NEED to orgasm, but I fake it every night (and some mornings) for him because he’s so.. you know. Fast. I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Is there anything I can do to climax WITH him?

A: Well Marcy, sounds like you have yourself quite a pickle – and its a sour one. Fortunately there are many options for you – and Pineappleope is here to help. First, you are not alone. We get many girls asking this question – and we help them all out. Very often – sometimes over and over and over again.

Usually we recommend just pleasuring yourself in front of a camera, and sending it to us – so we can assess your situation better and provide better guidance. More often than not – we also recommend experimenting with friends.

For your case, we have devised something a bit less orthodox. Since your boyfriend, lets call him Eduardo, is such a prick, we want you to make him feel like less of a man.. subtly. See, the trick here is to get off in front of him, before he even knows what’s going on. How, you ask? Well.. rollercoasters!

Yes – just go to the amusement park. While driving there, we recommend ‘warming yourself up’ in the car – we know Eduardo isn’t talking to you anyway. He’e probably adjusting his greaseball hair in the mirror while he drives his busted ass KIA down the highway. BABY BLUE! So – diddle it up! Once you get to the park, simply run to the first roller coaster. We guarantee that within minutes, you’ll be moister and happier than a juicer gangbangin guido at the tanning salon.

Don’t believe us?? Check out this video from Amanda89!!! >>
Continue reading “[Mailbag] Orgasm on a Rollercoaster!!”

Last minute Xmas idea, #386.

You had a rough year, we know. Your mom knows. PAO wants to help. Since you clearly missed the 2010 Christmas shopping deadline, despite our continued efforts to help, we are still happy to have you as a fan. We’ll continue posting ideas up until the actual last minute of Xmas. I think we’re currently entering the final fortnight. Its frightening, man. So here’s some pocket salvation. Not Salviationsalvation.

Finally – its Pocket Geisha! She’s hot! She’s dancing! And she’s YOURS. Buy your pocket geisha NOW!

Continue reading “Last minute Xmas idea, #386.”

Screw Cyber Monday. Here’s a DIY gift idea – laser guided slingshot!

I’m “calling in sick” at work tomorrow to build mine. If I survive, will report back.

Quotables:

  • BE SURE TO TIGHTEN UP YOUR NUTS WITH A WRENCH! XD
  • duuuuuuuuuuuuuuumb product placement
  • I WOULD USE A DILDO! *boom headshot* 10 points!!
  • my dog’s shit! (his poop would be ammo to shoot at my idiotic brother)
  • Looks like your running ideas Kip Kedersha if you are send me a message and i will be happy to give you some
  • that is a mother of all slingshots!!!! :DD
  • State of the PAOnion – PAO Staff meetup #236.6

    Crazy day in PAOville once again. Despite our high profile aquisitions and unstoppable hiring spree, we always find time to enjoy the high life. Today’s PAO event was a doozy, sending several PAO executives straight home afterwards.

    Hot, nasty street tacos and cold beverages were downed – but spirits were nothing but upped as PAO looks to wrap up its 3rd solid year of internet dominance. Discussions about street tacos came up over and over – and there was a big accord on the fact that the best street tacos are found deep in the heart of Mexico, where street workers are very generous with the hot, cheesy taco meat.

    All in all, the State of the PAOnion is of course summed up by one word – FANTASTICAL. FCUK YEAH, keep it REAL PAO!