[Countdown] Only 3 Days Left Until Christmas Day

Three days until Christmas. Official notification from Us at Pineappleope.com.

During the Countdown Pineappleope.com will be fielding questions from our readers (submitted to chief@pineappleope.com):

To: PAO
Why is Christmas celebrated on the 25th of December?
From: Jerome, TX

Jerome, thanks for the question. I’m personally not a religious man, so I don’t quite have the answer for you. What I do know, is that the 25th of December has something to do with the holy guy Jesus. My best guess is that Jesus was born on Christmas and in some way or another, transformed into santa.

-Perrf PAO Editor

[Countdown] Only 7 Days Left Until Christmas Day

Seven days until Christmas. Official notification from Us at Pineappleope.com.

xmas babes

During the Countdown Pineappleope.com will be fielding questions from our readers (submitted to chief@pineappleope.com):

To: PAO
Is Santa Real?
From: Theresa, FL

Theresa, I just want to first thank you for your question, thank you. In short, No. No, sorry. He is just a character made up by some adults. Basically it is just a silly rumor to get children to do what they are told. Parents are the ones who put presents in your stockings.

-Ronny PAO Employee

[Countdown] Only 9 Days Left Until Christmas Day

Nine days until Christmas. Official notification from Us at Pineappleope.com.

hot christmas babe

During the Countdown Pineappleope.com will be fielding questions from our readers (submitted to chief@pineappleope.com):

To: PAO
When did people start decorating Christmas trees?
From: Pluggariffic, AZ

Pluggariffic, Thanks for the question. Easy, the first decorated Christmas tree was in Riga, Latvia in 1510.
-Perrf PAO Author

[Countdown] Only 10 Days Left Until Christmas Day

Ten days until Christmas. Official notification from Us at Pineappleope.com.

sexmas

During the Countdown Pineappleope.com will be fielding questions from our readers (submitted to chief@pineappleope.com):

To: PAO
Is Sexmas a real Holiday? If so, Is it celebrated on December 25th?
From: Amy C., MA

Well, Amy, that is certainly a good question. Sexmas is an awesome variable for the term “X-mas” which in turn is a bastardation of the winter holiday celebrating the birth of Christ, “Christmas”. Not necessarily referring to a Christmas with sex. Sexmas could be celebrated any day of the year, not just on December 25th. Though on December 25th, Sexmas could be celebrated.
Merry Sexmas And A Happy New Year!
-perrf, PAO Author

Last minute Xmas idea, #386.

You had a rough year, we know. Your mom knows. PAO wants to help. Since you clearly missed the 2010 Christmas shopping deadline, despite our continued efforts to help, we are still happy to have you as a fan. We’ll continue posting ideas up until the actual last minute of Xmas. I think we’re currently entering the final fortnight. Its frightening, man. So here’s some pocket salvation. Not Salviationsalvation.

Finally – its Pocket Geisha! She’s hot! She’s dancing! And she’s YOURS. Buy your pocket geisha NOW!

Continue reading “Last minute Xmas idea, #386.”

[Countdown] Only 14 Days Left Until Christmas Day

Two weeks until Christmas. Official notification from Us at Pineappleope.com.

sexy-santa-babe[1]

During the Countdown Pineappleope.com will be fielding questions from our readers (submitted to chief@pineappleope.com):

To: PAO
Why do chicks want to make out with me under mistletoe?
From: Ritchie, WY

Thanks for the question, Ritchie. The custom of making out under mistletoe may be related to a super hot Scandinavian goddess (possibly pictured above). Frigga, the goddess of love in Norse mythology, is strongly and sexually associated with mistletoe, which has been used as a decoration in homes for thousands of years. Mistletoe is associated with many pagan rituals. In fact, the Christian church disliked the plant so much, thanks to its pagan associations, that it forbade its use in any form, even the smoke form. Some English churches continued this ban as late as the 20th century. According to Charles Panati’s excellent book, Extraordinary Origins of Ordinary Things, holly became a Christian substitute for mistletoe, which is why we “deck the halls” with it. The sharply pointed leaves in holly were supposed to symbolize the thorns in Christ’s crown and the red berries were to symbolize his blood. And so, all of that is why we suck face under it. Its also been known to enhance holiday cheer.
-P.Segal, PAO Employee

Screw Cyber Monday. Here’s a DIY gift idea – laser guided slingshot!

I’m “calling in sick” at work tomorrow to build mine. If I survive, will report back.

Quotables:

  • BE SURE TO TIGHTEN UP YOUR NUTS WITH A WRENCH! XD
  • duuuuuuuuuuuuuuumb product placement
  • I WOULD USE A DILDO! *boom headshot* 10 points!!
  • my dog’s shit! (his poop would be ammo to shoot at my idiotic brother)
  • Looks like your running ideas Kip Kedersha if you are send me a message and i will be happy to give you some
  • that is a mother of all slingshots!!!! :DD