[BReAKING] Day of the week alert

ALERT!!!!! Its Wednesday.

That is all.


PAO analysts have determined a shocking and disturbing breaking news event!! Samsung is currently showing a live stream of their Galaxy S5 SuperPhone.. but its nothing but a symphony playing the theme song to 3’s Company. Its a strange choice, but no one can stop listening.

What’s so wrong with that, you ask? IT HAS SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES. That is why they wont’ stop playing it!!! THERE is no announcement! They are drilling it into your brain right NOW! BEWARE!!!

GO see for yourself, after the breaaaak!  Continue reading “[BREAKING] Samsung Galaxy S5 EVENT SHOCKER”

[EXCLUSIVE] State-By-State Ranking of Schlong Size!

PAO interns at the summer picnic

Rarely does a day go by where a lady does not ask me: ” what state has the longest dongs and biggest balognas in the country???” The PAO Intern staff is always asking this, especially.

It used to be annoying – because I DID NOT KNOW the answer until NOW.

Finally I sent the interns on a quest – an informative research trip! After 232 days of very careful research by the PAO Interns – measuring twice on every occasion, a gigantic sampling of meat has been measured!!! This is LEGIT STUFF. Be prepared to have your MIND BLOWN.

Here it is: the official DONG measurement rankings!!  Continue reading “[EXCLUSIVE] State-By-State Ranking of Schlong Size!”

[Beauty Queen Gone Bad] Miss Delaware Teen USA – Melissa King – porn images and VIDEO FOUND!

Pineappleope.com investigators have uncovered the adult hardcore VIDEO and PHOTOS of THE Melissa King, the now EX-miss Delaware Teen USA. Today, Pineappleope.com brings you, Melissa King gone wild…

melissa king delware porn

meslissa king bad girl

Due to the GRAPHIC nature of this adult video of Miss Delaware, click to see after the break : Continue reading “[Beauty Queen Gone Bad] Miss Delaware Teen USA – Melissa King – porn images and VIDEO FOUND!”

[Internet Fighting] An Internet Battle to the Death – Review in Progress

The Official Battling system of the Internet has been released, to the public. The non disclosure agreement has ended. VERSEU,is what the Battle system is named. Located at http://verseu.com. They are currently hosting a number of battles, including the epic battle between Sexting vs Jump Rope. Check it out:


Current Battles:


Pineappleope.com went one-on-one with VERSEU this past week, in a sneak-preview for technology industry leaders. 2 Pineappleope.com employees were flown out to sunny southern California for a hands-on, behind closed doors, preview of VERSEU.

After 8 hours of straight online battling, Pineappleope.com came to the absolute conclusion, VERSEU will lead the rest of the internet into the next generation of the internet, tentatively called web3.0 (internet3, PAO prefers).

Since the VERSEU internet battle system is in its infancy (being released so recently, its so raw), we hesitate to give it a perfect score of 10 stars, but we never hesitate at PAO

10 out of a possible 10

Keep on the lookout for an official Pineappleope.com VERSEU profile.

[How To] Thirteen Easy Ways to Have a Threesome

Banging two bitches at the same time is easier done than said when you study and follow these easy three-way tips.

1. Have Massive Parties
We’re talking – an overcrowded lawn of at least fifty people, music blared so loudly across the block that only gesticulating and smiling is necessary, beautiful bodied women indulging in booze and a mutual attitude of recklessness. Everyone should be sufficiently lubricated (liquor-wise…) as you position yourself near the young, single bunch ‘o bitches. Start talking up two bitches, alternating equal attention to both. Keep it up, making sure they are connected not only to you, but to each other – try to get them flirting with each other, bitches at parties often do. The more relaxed they become with three-sided banter, they closer they come to the three-sided bedroom.

2. Jacuzzis
Jacuzzis activate sensuality in all bitches. The next time you find yourself beside the bubbly jet with a couple of bitches at a dispersed party, seize your chance. Sit yourself between the two of them, drawing them in with conversation with subtly insinuating talk. Make it clear through flirtation that you’re attracted to both and not one in particular, otherwise the other prospect will forfeit. Splash around, throw jokes and make the jacuzzi your personal bathtub and by the time you’re brave enough to instigate, they’ll practically be expecting it.

3. Friends On Vacation
Though two straight best friends definitely provide a scenario different from two seasoned lesbians, girls on vacation can unleash the craziest desire for sexual deviance. Might we say, moreso than two seasoned lesbians. When meeting two chinese, brazilian, botswanan, mexi or malato or whatever friends perusing the liquor selection at your local bar, offer to show them a good night on the town. Sheapard them around to your favorite places, treat them like your gorgeous, little bitches and end the night with the blitzed three of you bouncing around your pad.

Continue to #’s 4 through 13 >>> Continue reading “[How To] Thirteen Easy Ways to Have a Threesome”

[Fellatio Truth Movement] – a movement PAO stands in front of!

Simon “Wet Dick” Bergeron describes his brilliant movement – the Fellatio Truth Movement – and gives hard facts that support the need for this over any other movement. For instance – a BJ can take just a few minutes.. saving the environment? LIFETIMES.

Pineappleope fully supports and contributes large sums of money to the Fellatio Truth Movement .

  • only 39 % swallow!!!! OH THE SHAME OF THOSE nasty 61% spitters!!
  • HILARIOUS!!!!!!! The beginning was kind of not really promising, but then Jon did it again and made me want to get my dick out!
  • Not that funny johnny. . . do Canada proud and put out some more quality shit.
  • We should all start living by this ! I wanna enlist into Fellatio Truth Movement
  • Continue reading “[Fellatio Truth Movement] – a movement PAO stands in front of!”

    [luck dragon movie] Unemployment reaches double digits #rock-eater #boycott-honda

    Yes, national averages now top 10%. Unemployment continues to rise, but the untold story is not the economy. In journalism circles, that would be known as the told story. The untold story is robots. As the video below the fold shows, Honda (the same company that brought you wind-powered surfboards) is now creating robots that will be able to take your job. Even this poor rock eater now finds himself out of work. Please share this story on your facebook pages, and get the word out to fix our economy: Boycott Honda.

    rock eater

    Crack PAO correspondent Largebuck interviewed the Rock Eater just days after he lost his job.

    Largebuck: Were you given any idea that you were about to be terminated before it happened?

    Rock Eater: No way man. Working for The Neverending Story, you know, you just think it will never end.

    Largebuck: Yes, I can see how you might get that. Were any other stars laid off due to robot labor?

    Rock Eater: You know, it all happened so fast man, and like, TNS was so secretive about it, I don’t really know the full extent of it yet. I do know that Falkor is still there. Lucky fucking dragon.

    Largebuck: I don’t remember you talking like this in the movie. Are you, um, stoned?

    Rock Eater: I am an actor, dammit. I didn’t talk like this in the movie cuz I was in character.

    Largebuck: You seem to be avoiding my question.

    Rock Eater: Look bro, I am out of work and may have drug tests coming up. I may have eaten some second hand stones at a party or something, I don’t know. Next question.

    Largebuck: Any thoughts about your future?

    Rock Eater: All I know is, I am not ever buying another Honda product again. Like, never.

    Continue reading “[luck dragon movie] Unemployment reaches double digits #rock-eater #boycott-honda”