[BREAKING] Hurricane Joaquin Approaching AMERICA

PAO Researchers have been holed up in their lab for days, tracking the menace to humanity known as HURRICANE JOAQUIN. They’ve emerged on Twitter to share their findings – and things are not good. Not good at all. The storm is “pounding the Bahamas like old timey Pirates” said one beleaguered researcher.

Marco Chillbox, head weather researcher at PAO Labs said:

“its a big storm.. like, unusually strong. We’ll need the posse formed ASAP. Like, we’re all fcked in the ear, big time”.

Using high-tech imaging software, they have come up with a models for this beast of a storm as it plans to erase North Carolina from the map: 

They’ve also uncovered the EYE of this storm – and it has features unlike and storm in the history of THE EARTH. This indeed is bone-chilling news…

And there’s one piece of advice on how to be fully prepared for an event like this.

RUN. RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUNNNNNNNNNnnn