Helpful tips to conceal your boner at the beach [guy tips] [boners]

Beach season can be very exciting. The problem: For the first few weeks, this excitement can be overwhelming – Because up until a few weeks ago, we were only able to see half naked woman from the screen of our PC’s (where it is acceptable to have a monster erection). It’s sort of like seeing a lion at the zoo vs seeing one out in the wild.


We know this transition can be difficult, so we’ve outlined a few tips for you this summer season.

Dig A Hole In The Sand – At the first signs of giant hard-on some of us tend to panic and roll over immediately. This can be painful if not executed properly. And depending on your shorts, there is a possibility of your little buddy getting a sneak peak of some sun light. Stay calm and dig a small hole where your pelvic region meets your towel. This will allow your yogurt slinger to safely and comfortably retract.

dig hole

Pretend Like You’re Stretching – Stretching at the beach is commonly practiced, so you won’t have to worry about looking awkward. People will think you’re about to go for a jog or a power swim. Hiding a boner will be the last thing on anybodies mind.


Place Beer Between Legs – If you’re in a situation where you’re in a lawn chair, you may not want to lose your seat. Fear not, this is but a perfect opportunity to crack open another cold beer.

The beer can works in two ways.

  1. It can be used to cover an unwelcome bulge.
  2. The chilling beer can works as an electric fence when it comes into contact with your penis.

Conclusion: The first few weeks of beach season can be a true testament of one’s willpower and focus. When venturing away from your towel to retrieve more food and beverages, we’d suggest that you keep your line of site directly in front of you. If at anytime you become distracted, just think of this guy.

via Helpful tips to conceal your boner at the beach .

Last minute Xmas idea, #386.

You had a rough year, we know. Your mom knows. PAO wants to help. Since you clearly missed the 2010 Christmas shopping deadline, despite our continued efforts to help, we are still happy to have you as a fan. We’ll continue posting ideas up until the actual last minute of Xmas. I think we’re currently entering the final fortnight. Its frightening, man. So here’s some pocket salvation. Not Salviationsalvation.

Finally – its Pocket Geisha! She’s hot! She’s dancing! And she’s YOURS. Buy your pocket geisha NOW!

Continue reading “Last minute Xmas idea, #386.”

State of the PAOnion – PAO Staff meetup #236.6

Crazy day in PAOville once again. Despite our high profile aquisitions and unstoppable hiring spree, we always find time to enjoy the high life. Today’s PAO event was a doozy, sending several PAO executives straight home afterwards.

Hot, nasty street tacos and cold beverages were downed – but spirits were nothing but upped as PAO looks to wrap up its 3rd solid year of internet dominance. Discussions about street tacos came up over and over – and there was a big accord on the fact that the best street tacos are found deep in the heart of Mexico, where street workers are very generous with the hot, cheesy taco meat.

All in all, the State of the PAOnion is of course summed up by one word – FANTASTICAL. FCUK YEAH, keep it REAL PAO!

[Movie Time] King Kong is BACK on the big screen – 1972 style!

Yup, before “Be Kind Rewind” was ever put on paper, some smart kids were already remaking crappy movies with a crappy camera. But back in the 70’s, this was an incredible remake of a crappy movie on a sweet-as-balls camera. I think it was a Flip – not HD though. Check check it out. King Kong beats on this kids like no other.

[Brazilian Fire Tornado] Nature’s equivalent of the middle finger

Yeah, here’s Momma Nature giving Brazil a big, fat, stinky, F-U!! That’s right, its a fire tornado. Straight outta your worst nightmare. Check it.

They sayers

  • If I had to die in a natural disaster I’d at least hope it’d be in something half as cool looking as that infernado.
  • its not fake lol its all over the news not only brazil i just saw it on the news in finland had to youtube that shit very cool stuff 😀
  • And FYI people there is a scientific reason for this. The warm air from the fire mixed with the cooler atmosphere. This created the tornado which managed to pull the fire into it creating it. We need to change but God won’t destroy us.
  • wtf is up with the world nothing but disasters :/ god is angry or its the end of the times