PAO analysts have determined a shocking and disturbing breaking news event!! Samsung is currently showing a live stream of their Galaxy S5 SuperPhone.. but its nothing but a symphony playing the theme song to 3’s Company. Its a strange choice, but no one can stop listening.

What’s so wrong with that, you ask? IT HAS SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES. That is why they wont’ stop playing it!!! THERE is no announcement! They are drilling it into your brain right NOW! BEWARE!!!

GO see for yourself, after the breaaaak!  Continue reading “[BREAKING] Samsung Galaxy S5 EVENT SHOCKER”

[EXCLUSIVE] State-By-State Ranking of Schlong Size!

PAO interns at the summer picnic

Rarely does a day go by where a lady does not ask me: ” what state has the longest dongs and biggest balognas in the country???” The PAO Intern staff is always asking this, especially.

It used to be annoying – because I DID NOT KNOW the answer until NOW.

Finally I sent the interns on a quest – an informative research trip! After 232 days of very careful research by the PAO Interns – measuring twice on every occasion, a gigantic sampling of meat has been measured!!! This is LEGIT STUFF. Be prepared to have your MIND BLOWN.

Here it is: the official DONG measurement rankings!!  Continue reading “[EXCLUSIVE] State-By-State Ranking of Schlong Size!”

How to Make it in Music in 1988

The skilled staff writers of PAO search and scour the ends of the Internet to help you succeed as a human being. Whether its sharing the hottest fashion trends, or epic career advice, we have it. You will be a better person for visiting here, almost guaranteed – and today’s post is a 100% bona-fide piece of video gold.

Today we have something special.. its expert advice from 1988, yes, the future everyone, on how to MAKE IT IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY. Thank us later.

Is this photo SFW or NSFW?

PAO asks.. is this SFW (Safe For Work)?? Here’s what we know so far:
1. Its a babe.
2. Its a blanket.
3. Clothes don’t appear to be worn.
4. She’s really, really enjoying this blanket.

Take our poll to see if you are smart enough to answer correctly!

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