[swine flu] H1N1 SWINE FLU Outbreak! Track the spread, live – ONLY on PAO!

Posted in paohilton.com, Tracking the Undead, Your Health and Mine on 04/27/2009 08:50 am by onionrings - 236 views

PAO CIO franklin peestone battles Swine Flu daily

PAO CIO Franklin Peestone battles Swine Flu with his personal army of pigeons

I never would have guessed it.. but the time has come. Bird flu was a scam, a lie, a cheat – and now look, Swine Flu has pounced on our asses like stink on a flu ridden pig. PAO offices are all abuzz over this outbreak, fortunately with no cases reported yet. Staff scientists have been recruited away to NASA’s testing grounds, unfortunately, so we cannot work on our own remedy this week. What we can do, fortunately, is help YOU track it.

The flu is tracking its way up through Mexico, and then exploding across the country in a never-before-seen type of epidemic. Some rumors are flying that the US Government is calling on Milla Jovovich for advice on how to handle such a situation. Milla, as you know, has much experience battling epidemics – primarily those involving zombies.

milla1Jovovich did say “they all start like this.. its always the pigs. America had better get ready.” Fortunately for us – no one complains when Milla comes to town. She tends to not wear a lot of clothes and carries all kinds of weapons. She continued “when I battle the early onset of an outbreak, I start going after the swine with blunt objects.”

Below, PAO Researcher Chaz Reinhold displays his data findings from the weekend. He will be updating this map hourly throughout his tracking of the disease from a secret underground lair.

Track the flu NOW:


View H1N1 Swine Flu in a larger map

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13 Comments

  1. sarah
    04/27/2009 at 9:16 am

    Europe is getting fucked by SWINE FLU. Check out all that action on your SWINE FLU TRACKER. I am hopeful my hometown does not get hit.

    Also, does swine flu have anything to do with wine?

  2. chief
    04/27/2009 at 9:20 am

    cause of outbreak:

  3. cleveland
    04/27/2009 at 9:40 am

    OMG canada just got 4 cases THIS HOUR. we’re all gonna DIE

  4. chief
    04/27/2009 at 10:38 am

    canadians huff swine, expect more cases soon

  5. onionrings
    04/27/2009 at 11:43 am

    OMG NOOOOOOO

  6. cleveland
    04/27/2009 at 12:21 pm

    ARE THOSE INFECETD PEOPLE? why are they all PIGS?

  7. chief
    04/27/2009 at 12:50 pm

    so does this mean i should not eat this bacon waffle sandwich

  8. hotbeth4u
    04/27/2009 at 3:46 pm

    hee hee, you guys are soooo cute. want to chat?

  9. Anna Bannana
    04/27/2009 at 5:44 pm

    I want to chat :) i am here for w4ww

  10. hotbeth4u
    04/28/2009 at 9:09 am

    o hai anna!!!! last nite was SOOoooo fun, i can’t wait till you do that to me agian! tonight? pleaaase? ;)

  11. mcchill
    04/28/2009 at 9:26 am

    hotbeth4u, i am leaving my wife… can i get in on that?

  12. Anna Bannana 4 u
    04/29/2009 at 8:16 am

    omg rlly?

  13. [Swine Flu Update] Swine Cross Mexican Border via Wings | Pineappleope.com
    04/29/2009 at 2:21 pm

    [...] Anna Bannana 4 u: omg rlly? [...]

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