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In an awful turn of events for young people, local experts have just learned some shocking news at the local high schools. Young women, accidentally reading odd emails in their inboxes, are not able to obtain massive amounts of drugs for cheap. The drugs appear to be coming from Canada – and that’s not even the crazy part. What’s truly shocking about this case is that the girls aren’t using these pills for their own devices.

In fact, researches explain that most of the imports are forms of “rufies” and “male enhancement” pills. What are the dangers of girls having their hands on “date rape” drugs? Well.. lets recall that

Flunitrazepam is known to induce anterograde amnesia in sufficient doses; individuals are unable to remember certain events that they experienced while under the influence of the drug. This effect is particularly dangerous when flunitrazepam is used to aid in the commission of sexual assault; victims may not be able to clearly recall the assault, the assailant, or the events surrounding the assault.

Ok, braniacs, yeah you think “so they are knocking guys out.. SO WHAT??” Well – that’s apparently where the “little blue pill” comes into play. In an outright shocking turn of events, the little chemical cocktail that these girls are putting together turns off your brain, but fires up your weenie (aka willie, aka boner, aka schlong, aka one eyed monster, aka purple headed warrier).

Just what happens is still a mystery. It does leave victims in the most vulnerable position possible though. No one’s going to call for help – they are out COLD. But who knows how long their stiffies will last – possibly to medical emergency lengths!? It is a dangerous fact, that girls are out there, trying to take advantage of you. It happened to this guy, “Mr. Cookies” as he called himself.

“I thought these girls were like, cool, ya know. Met them online – you know what game I play – and we got together for a LAN party. I thought it was going to be fun, just games and shit. Well I woke up in my basement 39 hours later, and umm, I.. I can’t tell you the rest. It was horrifying.“

Civic authorities are slow moving in this cause, unfortunately. Feeling that there’s “no harm to be done” and that guys are “getting a taste of their own medicine”. It is scary and shocking to think that these early warning signs are being ignored. Warnings of what, you ask? It is clear… the shocking conclusion follows:

They are moving on past MEN. The women of this world are rebelling… They are all becoming lesbians.

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