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You’ve always wanted to be really good at giving bikini and Brazilian waxings. Here is your chance to become a pro. Pineappleope.com is proud to offer free internet waxing degrees. Simply watch the following film:

“I am the best waxer now. Thanks PAO”
-David C.

“Didn’t know it was SO SIMPLE. Until Now”
-AJ

“I was always messing up. Now, I am a professional and make a living off waxing”
- Michelle T.

Are you fat and looking to shed a couple lbs before summer? The following might be for you

The benefits:

- Look good, all the time

OHH WAIT!! THERES MORE >>> Read the rest of this entry »

The FDA has refused to publish safety standards for sunscreen products. That’s nearly three decades of keeping the public in the dark about the extremely harmful, cancer-causing chemicals found in sunscreen products.

Cleveland Solar Group (CSG) has spent the past 7 years researching the effects of the sun, the sun on skin, sun screen on skin, and skins effect on sunscreen.

As the CSG’s research reveals, an incredible 84% of sunscreen products are harmful to consumers. You read that right: More than four out of five sunscreen products actually harm the people who use them.

That’s no surprise to Pineappleope.com readers, of course. We’ve been sounding the alarm on the toxicity of sunscreen products for years. We’ve also hammered at the sick conspiracy between the cancer industry and the sunscreen industry to keep people diseased so that both industries make more money.

Avoid the sunscreen dangers at all costs, before its too late

Battle the Sun online! VERSEU.com – Internet Battles

There comes a point in ones life when you screw up your tan, and get an uneven tan. Instead of blaming the sun, you can fix your uneven tan! Follow these 12 easy steps below:

Step 1. Locate your uneven tan.
Step 2. Locate a towel
Step 3. Drive to your county tanning salon with your towel
Step 4. Enter county tanning salon
Step 5. Ask for a 40 minute session
Step 6. Enter tanning bed room
Step 7. Take off your clothes
Step 8. At this point you should be nude, unless of course, you are a never-nude
Step 9. Cover the tanned part of you with the towel
Step 10. Enter Tanning bed
Step 11. Tan as long as it takes to make the untanned skin match the tanned skin
Step 12. Eat a hand sandwich

Check out our exclusive tanning photos >>> Read the rest of this entry »

In observance of National Donut Day, the following vendors are offering FREE donuts:

• Krispy Kreme offers a free donut with no purchase necessary at participating US/CAN retail locations
• Dunkin Donuts offers a free donut with beverage purchase at participating locations
• Tim Hortons offers a free donut with beverage purchase (printable coupon)

Q: Elana from Nevada asks “can you keep wasps as pets? i think they are sooo cute!”

A: Simple answer – YES! Elana clearly lives under a rock and doesn’t know about the latest fad in small pets. Yeah Paris Hilton still has a chihuahua in a bag –  but the hippest people are going smaller – to things like bugs! Check out this friendly little wasp – SO CUTE OMG.

Beach season can be very exciting. The problem: For the first few weeks, this excitement can be overwhelming – Because up until a few weeks ago, we were only able to see half naked woman from the screen of our PC’s (where it is acceptable to have a monster erection). It’s sort of like seeing a lion at the zoo vs seeing one out in the wild.

We know this transition can be difficult, so we’ve outlined a few tips for you this summer season.

Dig A Hole In The Sand – At the first signs of giant hard-on some of us tend to panic and roll over immediately. This can be painful if not executed properly. And depending on your shorts, there is a possibility of your little buddy getting a sneak peak of some sun light. Stay calm and dig a small hole where your pelvic region meets your towel. This will allow your yogurt slinger to safely and comfortably retract.

Pretend Like You’re Stretching – Stretching at the beach is commonly practiced, so you won’t have to worry about looking awkward. People will think you’re about to go for a jog or a power swim. Hiding a boner will be the last thing on anybodies mind.

Place Beer Between Legs – If you’re in a situation where you’re in a lawn chair, you may not want to lose your seat. Fear not, this is but a perfect opportunity to crack open another cold beer.

The beer can works in two ways.

1. It can be used to cover an unwelcome bulge.
2. The chilling beer can works as an electric fence when it comes into contact with your penis.

Conclusion: The first few weeks of beach season can be a true testament of one’s willpower and focus. When venturing away from your towel to retrieve more food and beverages, we’d suggest that you keep your line of site directly in front of you. If at anytime you become distracted, just think of this guy.

via Helpful tips to conceal your boner at the beach .

Today we reach, deep into that sack known as the mailbag. Yup, its been a while, and boy do we have a good one today – literally, a question for the AGES, thanks to Marcy32 in Kansas for asking this one!

Q: My boyfriend is awful in the sack. I’m a horny girl. I NEED to orgasm, but I fake it every night (and some mornings) for him because he’s so.. you know. Fast. I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Is there anything I can do to climax WITH him?

A: Well Marcy, sounds like you have yourself quite a pickle – and its a sour one. Fortunately there are many options for you – and Pineappleope is here to help. First, you are not alone. We get many girls asking this question – and we help them all out. Very often – sometimes over and over and over again.

Usually we recommend just pleasuring yourself in front of a camera, and sending it to us – so we can assess your situation better and provide better guidance. More often than not – we also recommend experimenting with friends.

For your case, we have devised something a bit less orthodox. Since your boyfriend, lets call him Eduardo, is such a prick, we want you to make him feel like less of a man.. subtly. See, the trick here is to get off in front of him, before he even knows what’s going on. How, you ask? Well.. rollercoasters!

Yes – just go to the amusement park. While driving there, we recommend ‘warming yourself up’ in the car – we know Eduardo isn’t talking to you anyway. He’e probably adjusting his greaseball hair in the mirror while he drives his busted ass KIA down the highway. BABY BLUE! So – diddle it up! Once you get to the park, simply run to the first roller coaster. We guarantee that within minutes, you’ll be moister and happier than a juicer gangbangin guido at the tanning salon.

Don’t believe us?? Check out this video from Amanda89!!! >>
Read the rest of this entry »

There is no better way to get in shape than dancing in a thong, to the beat of a boombox.

You say you don’t have a boombox? Not to worry… Sans Boombox thong dancing gets your in similar shape:

Lots words don’t get to me but good rap in my land. Magic puissy. ITS MAGIC

Scientists working overseas in conjunction with local PAO scientists have developed the speediest and least invasive breast augmentation technique. Electrocute your boobs into enlargement

Focus Group Feedback:

- I need to take a trip to Asia !

- is there such a thing as an ugly chinese woman?? I don’t think so…

- IF USED FOR TOO LONG BOOBS MAY EXPLODE IN YOUR FACE

- FUCK I WANT ONE FOR MY ASIAN GIRLFRIEND

- 20 bucks says most women end up with this thing down their pants.

A bit more on this after the break:

Read the rest of this entry »

Pineappleope has a little Xmas gift for you today… the gift of game!

Hurricane Nicole is the sixteenth Atlantic tropical cyclone and fourteenth named storm of the 2010 Atlantic hurricane season.

As a monsoonal low formed over northwestern Caribbean Sea, gradual development took place and it attained tropical depression status on September 28, moving toward the north-northeast. On September 29, it lived up to its forecast expectations and strengthened into a tropical storm

Due to the asymmetrical structure of Nicole, torrential rains fell along the eastern portion of the storm, affecting Jamaica. Throughout the country, more than 300,000 residences were without power. Extensive floods caused widespread damage and killed at least nine people.

Heavy rainfalls associated with Nicole Scherzinger soaked central and eastern Cuba. Said heavy rainfalls will reach the island-continent of the United States of America this weekend, with massive flooding causing massive damage. Expect Deaths, Damage, and Disease throughout the weekend.

As a doctor, I feel especially qualified to weigh in on women’s noses.

Did you know? ? ?

1. One in four girls will wait anywhere from two weeks to a month before washing their sheets in order to keep their guy’s scent close. Double that time if the two bang. Triple it if the two bang a guest at the same time.

2. 56 percent of girls say they won’t date a guy who smells like their dad. 26% say they will only bang guy’s who smell like their fathers.

3. One out of two girls admits that she has committed theft and/or grand larceny by stealing an article of clothing or a car from a guy to smell when he’s gone and nearly 60 percent of girls sleep in their guy’s clothes because they like his lingering aroma.

4. 60 percent of girls still remember the smell of their ex’s cologne

Riveting. So apparently it is determined that women like the way the guys they date smell and don’t want to go out with a guy who smells not like their guy. If you needed PAO to tell you these things, well … you probably wear Axe.