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You just don’t know how to pick out a nice thong and you don’t trust your fellow friends to do it for you. NO PROBLEM. The following video will show you HOW TO PICK OUT A PROPER THONG.

The following video is a compilation of Brazillians who have mastered the ART OF PICKING OUT THE PERFECT THONG – WATCH IT NOW: Read the rest of this entry »

Some people have two left hands when it comes to unlocking devices such as the bra. Some people have fat hands and find bras tricky and often TOO tricky to unlock, and give up and live with failure the remainder of their lives. Luckily, PAO found the Rosetta Stone of bra unlocking here within the following video. Let it serve as a refresher, or a introduction to bra unlocking to unleash the bra unlocker within you.

End of winter has passed, spring is here due to the unseasonable weather. That means its time to dust off your maids and put them to work. If you have survived maid-less this long, its about time you retrieve one.

 
Lucky for our readers, we have an official spring cleaning 2012 check list to get your maids on their way!

1. Have your maid set aside at least a week for a thorough spring cleaning. Work from one end of your house to the other.

2. Dust lighting fixtures.

CONTINUE READING THE SPRING CLEANING 2012 CHECK LIST >>> Read the rest of this entry »

The impossible has happened. PAO had been hacked. Over the course of the past 24 hours, you have may experienced a poor PAO experience. Your less-than-stellar PAO experience was caused by a code injection from a talented yet stupid hacker.

PAO is offering mucho rewards for information leading to the Hackers capture and lifetime imprisonment. Informing PAO of the hackers name will get you an Official XMAS 2011 Edition Pineappleope.com T-shirt.

Bonus if you bring in this The Net hacker:

Lets bring this hacker to justice.

With song titles such as “Making Love Under the Rain”, us at PAO knew what we were getting into. Or at least, we thought we knew…

At times massively loud noises obstruct PAO employees from doing work. During those times we try drowning out the vomit inducing noise with music. At times relaxing music.

When “Music for Healing Sexuality – Healing Nature Sounds and Relaxing Music” compact disc was delivered to PAO offices by FEDEX, all PAO employees passed the disc around drooling over the cover artwork and calling dibs on first listen. Straws were drawn, and I ended up being the first PAO employee to take the disc in, in its entirety.

The disc starts off with a bang, featuring the track “Making Love Under The Rain”. You can vividly hear each drop of rain hitting two lesbians going to town on one another.

“Outdoor Love”, One of my favorite tracks. Its more or less a woman getting off alone.

“Erotic Spa” starts out with relaxing tunes and melody. Due to the song name, it was hotly anticipated. Unfortunately there is some giggling which takes you right back to reality.

“Sensual Couple” too much kissing noises. A couple slapping noises, I assume they were friendly slaps since they broke out into full on intercourse. Mix feelings on this one.

And lastly, PAO favorite song 8, “Threesome And Rainy Days”. It was a pleasurable listening experience from start two finish. The female vocalists did a heck of a job. A HECK OF A JOB. Whoever mixed this track is a genius.

Another hidden gem:

“Thunderstorms And Sexual Pleaseure”.

PINEAPPLEOPE SCORE:

*******
7 out of a possible 10

*WORTH NOTING: There are no secret songs hidden at the end of the disc.

You’ve always wanted to be really good at giving bikini and Brazilian waxings. Here is your chance to become a pro. Pineappleope.com is proud to offer free internet waxing degrees. Simply watch the following film:

“I am the best waxer now. Thanks PAO”
-David C.

“Didn’t know it was SO SIMPLE. Until Now”
-AJ

“I was always messing up. Now, I am a professional and make a living off waxing”
- Michelle T.

Are you fat and looking to shed a couple lbs before summer? The following might be for you

The benefits:

- Look good, all the time

OHH WAIT!! THERES MORE >>> Read the rest of this entry »

The FDA has refused to publish safety standards for sunscreen products. That’s nearly three decades of keeping the public in the dark about the extremely harmful, cancer-causing chemicals found in sunscreen products.

Cleveland Solar Group (CSG) has spent the past 7 years researching the effects of the sun, the sun on skin, sun screen on skin, and skins effect on sunscreen.

As the CSG’s research reveals, an incredible 84% of sunscreen products are harmful to consumers. You read that right: More than four out of five sunscreen products actually harm the people who use them.

That’s no surprise to Pineappleope.com readers, of course. We’ve been sounding the alarm on the toxicity of sunscreen products for years. We’ve also hammered at the sick conspiracy between the cancer industry and the sunscreen industry to keep people diseased so that both industries make more money.

Avoid the sunscreen dangers at all costs, before its too late

Battle the Sun online! VERSEU.com – Internet Battles

There comes a point in ones life when you screw up your tan, and get an uneven tan. Instead of blaming the sun, you can fix your uneven tan! Follow these 12 easy steps below:

Step 1. Locate your uneven tan.
Step 2. Locate a towel
Step 3. Drive to your county tanning salon with your towel
Step 4. Enter county tanning salon
Step 5. Ask for a 40 minute session
Step 6. Enter tanning bed room
Step 7. Take off your clothes
Step 8. At this point you should be nude, unless of course, you are a never-nude
Step 9. Cover the tanned part of you with the towel
Step 10. Enter Tanning bed
Step 11. Tan as long as it takes to make the untanned skin match the tanned skin
Step 12. Eat a hand sandwich

Check out our exclusive tanning photos >>> Read the rest of this entry »

In observance of National Donut Day, the following vendors are offering FREE donuts:

• Krispy Kreme offers a free donut with no purchase necessary at participating US/CAN retail locations
• Dunkin Donuts offers a free donut with beverage purchase at participating locations
• Tim Hortons offers a free donut with beverage purchase (printable coupon)

Q: Elana from Nevada asks “can you keep wasps as pets? i think they are sooo cute!”

A: Simple answer – YES! Elana clearly lives under a rock and doesn’t know about the latest fad in small pets. Yeah Paris Hilton still has a chihuahua in a bag –  but the hippest people are going smaller – to things like bugs! Check out this friendly little wasp – SO CUTE OMG.

Beach season can be very exciting. The problem: For the first few weeks, this excitement can be overwhelming – Because up until a few weeks ago, we were only able to see half naked woman from the screen of our PC’s (where it is acceptable to have a monster erection). It’s sort of like seeing a lion at the zoo vs seeing one out in the wild.

We know this transition can be difficult, so we’ve outlined a few tips for you this summer season.

Dig A Hole In The Sand – At the first signs of giant hard-on some of us tend to panic and roll over immediately. This can be painful if not executed properly. And depending on your shorts, there is a possibility of your little buddy getting a sneak peak of some sun light. Stay calm and dig a small hole where your pelvic region meets your towel. This will allow your yogurt slinger to safely and comfortably retract.

Pretend Like You’re Stretching – Stretching at the beach is commonly practiced, so you won’t have to worry about looking awkward. People will think you’re about to go for a jog or a power swim. Hiding a boner will be the last thing on anybodies mind.

Place Beer Between Legs – If you’re in a situation where you’re in a lawn chair, you may not want to lose your seat. Fear not, this is but a perfect opportunity to crack open another cold beer.

The beer can works in two ways.

1. It can be used to cover an unwelcome bulge.
2. The chilling beer can works as an electric fence when it comes into contact with your penis.

Conclusion: The first few weeks of beach season can be a true testament of one’s willpower and focus. When venturing away from your towel to retrieve more food and beverages, we’d suggest that you keep your line of site directly in front of you. If at anytime you become distracted, just think of this guy.

via Helpful tips to conceal your boner at the beach .

Today we reach, deep into that sack known as the mailbag. Yup, its been a while, and boy do we have a good one today – literally, a question for the AGES, thanks to Marcy32 in Kansas for asking this one!

Q: My boyfriend is awful in the sack. I’m a horny girl. I NEED to orgasm, but I fake it every night (and some mornings) for him because he’s so.. you know. Fast. I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Is there anything I can do to climax WITH him?

A: Well Marcy, sounds like you have yourself quite a pickle – and its a sour one. Fortunately there are many options for you – and Pineappleope is here to help. First, you are not alone. We get many girls asking this question – and we help them all out. Very often – sometimes over and over and over again.

Usually we recommend just pleasuring yourself in front of a camera, and sending it to us – so we can assess your situation better and provide better guidance. More often than not – we also recommend experimenting with friends.

For your case, we have devised something a bit less orthodox. Since your boyfriend, lets call him Eduardo, is such a prick, we want you to make him feel like less of a man.. subtly. See, the trick here is to get off in front of him, before he even knows what’s going on. How, you ask? Well.. rollercoasters!

Yes – just go to the amusement park. While driving there, we recommend ‘warming yourself up’ in the car – we know Eduardo isn’t talking to you anyway. He’e probably adjusting his greaseball hair in the mirror while he drives his busted ass KIA down the highway. BABY BLUE! So – diddle it up! Once you get to the park, simply run to the first roller coaster. We guarantee that within minutes, you’ll be moister and happier than a juicer gangbangin guido at the tanning salon.

Don’t believe us?? Check out this video from Amanda89!!! >>
Read the rest of this entry »

There is no better way to get in shape than dancing in a thong, to the beat of a boombox.

You say you don’t have a boombox? Not to worry… Sans Boombox thong dancing gets your in similar shape:

Lots words don’t get to me but good rap in my land. Magic puissy. ITS MAGIC