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PAO has formed an alliance with an elite group of space explorers who have awesome cameras. The partnership allows us to use their awesome videos of the moon to show you guys what its like. In HD!
lunariffic
The ultimate 80′s programme?
PAO employee Jezibel Schwartz recently got married! First we want to congratulate her, and second we want to exploit her creativity in having the most.. ________ wedding you’ve ever seen. Yeah, you fill in the blank! It was and forever will be, a Star Wars Wedding!
She is a Mormon, and a muffin licker – which has caused a huge stir on Twitter. To be honest, PAO does not take a stand on either team regarding muffin licking – we like the idea, would like to see more, but we won’t get political here. The Mormon thing came out as a calendar image in an infamous “mormon milf” calendar that hit the Utah news like a TREX in KFC.
Back to the story, though – the star wars wedding came jam packed with light sabers (sorry, no lesbian battles this time), storm troopers, battles, and special FX. Check out the gallery on the next page!
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PAO readers are always torn in two groups. Well, four – men/women .. and star trek / star wars. Recent polls show that much of this divergence is a result of recent blockbuster hits such as Twlight, Revenge of the Fallen, Star Trek, Indiana Jones, and Police Academy.
PAO has now obtained information that pits the two franchises directly against eachother to show who will really win. It is quite startling, this reporter thinks.
Star Trekkers at your local lunch table are babbling like mad around here as a potentially viewable rocket launch closes in on PAO readers tonight. Staff astrologist Dr Chewbert says “rockets are big, and they move fast. These two factors, as well as Aries crossing into the Moon and Mars, make your chances of viewing the event circumstantial. They kind of cross eachother out. I’m watching though – my fortune for this day is strong for romance!”
Is it true? We are not sure yet. Stay tuned to find out. If it is, indeed, true, you will see something like the video below.
To view our exclusive ROCKET GALLERY, please continue reading!
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To: Lunch Bunch
Shut the fuck up
From: Dr
The father of a child star in the oscar winning movie “Slumdog Millionaire” tried to sell his 9-year-old woman (Rubina Ali) to a reporter posing as a wealthy sheik.
The Father, Mr. Ali, was willing to sell Rubina Ali up for $400,000, cops said.
The transaction never went through. Rubina has evaded slavery once again. Slavery is still huge in India, which most people don’t know. Most Indian slaves serve as straight up slaves. Around 50% of slaves in India are required to dress like Princess Leia when she was a slave in the famous movie ‘Star Wars: the Final Frontier.’ The accompanying photo should give you an idea what this lifestyle is like.
Indian Cops are still questioning Rubina’s father. It is likely that he will come away with only a slap on the wrist due to the lax slavery laws in India
On March 15th 2009, Rufus the bat fulfilled his life long dream to become the first bat in space. He is a hero.
Please note, only fight a bear if you are a half god like Hercules, or full god like Zeus. Otherwise, do not fight bears. Bears are dangerous and can travel to space at will. A rare capture of a bear travelling to space is at the end of this clip, shot by the Hubble Telescope.
PAO staff scientist Dr. Largedunk has perfected his beep-to-text-to-speech translator! Its been under development for 3 hours – and is 90% complete. For a demonstration, check out this Star Wars clip:
And yep, that is Natalie Portman you see there!
What do these guys do, now that no movies are in production at the moment?
Controlling objects with your mind is pretty tough. Alot of people fail because they are simply too stupid to handle the load. PAO analysts estimate stupid-ass-ness prevents approximately 98% of the world from using mind control. This study was conducted through the years of 1987-1999*.
If you are not too stupid, and you know all about mind control, we have a tip for you. Most everyone here at PAO can confirm this helps with their tasks. Extreme focus is KEY. You must practice, as a Buhddist monk would – severe discipline and focus on moving as little as possible. Shifting your head slightly can alter your results.
Observe a senior PAOist – his focus and stability – and complete, utter control over the stupid minivan.
