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This is for those ppl who were unable to watch the USA vs England match because the game is soo long… here is a reenactment of the match which cuts out 80 or so boring minutes of ball kicking. Plastic people have replaced humans to keep production costs down.

The take away…

- Tha Engrish golie is terrible

- Goal tender on the English side blew the game for England. What idiocy

WIDGET ATTACK!

From somewhere else:

Fire up Soccer Balls and line up a series of vengeful shots. This is for third grade kickball, ref! And this is for that college basketball tournament! I never fouled anybody! Wham! Wham! Wham! Yeah, who’s in charge now, ref? Who’s in charge now?

World champion roller-skater Taig Khris may have set a new world record by jumping off the Eiffel Tower with skates on, pending a drug test.

WATCH THE STUNT:

Officials chime in:

- Has Red bull ran out of great ideas and now they are down to d-bag sports. Truly one of the wussiest things ever witnessed.

Spring Training for MLSVD (Major League Synchronized Video Dancing) has hit, and PAO got its hands on some amatureish video featuring aspiring amature MLSVD players. Here is Samantha, trying her best, but ultimately not making the cut:

Judges Said:

- Dis broad just ain’t MLSVD material yo!

MLSVD Spring Training Outtakes >>> Read the rest of this entry »

This is it folks, the ACTUAL video on how the 2012 Olympic mascots were developed. With Rainbows and metal. Awful. Try your hardest not to vomit

Back Story… When the official logo of the 2012 London Olympics was released three years ago, the odd puzzle-piece design was the object of so much scorn that organizers were desperate to avoid similar criticism when they unveiled the mascots for the Games on Wednesday. With the introduction of Wenlock and Mandeville….

The officials chime in….

- Uhhh.. alianz??

- The world ends in 2012, so who the f cares?

There are REAL actors wearing these bogus costumes

One of the top skateboarding moves of all time, the stair jump…

“I’m BLEEDING OUT of MY BALLLSS dude!!!!”

“I’m Fucking Bleeding!!”

Lookin at Lucky wins the second Ultimate Horse Race of the year. Super Saver failed to meet expectations and blew a possible Triple Crown.

In honor of the Preakness, we have a music video about how womens rights have improved as the use of horses for transport has declined. It’s a cartoon and your children might enjoy it.

Comments heard around the globe during the Preakness and after watching the Video

- Awsome and fantastic

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Reader Responses:

- I’ll probably win after watching that

- What does this have to do with cheerleader?!?!

A minor ski accident destroys an older mans life, for the day. Really great ski footage that makes you feel like your REALLY there pulling off daffys and helicopters. Personally, I felt like James Bond for a minute

Viewers React:

- typical skiers, they’re either think they own the hill or they act like little pussies

Grab your Slo-Mo Balloon Condom Bonus!!! >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Mmmm… Yoga… Erotic Yoga…

Brought to you by JockJoose.com

A police officer used a Taser gun to apprehend a 17-year-old fan who ran onto the field during a Phillies game Monday night, and the team and the police are investigating whether it was an appropriate use of force.

The fan, wearing a baseball cap, red T-shirt and khaki shorts, hopped a fence and scurried around the outfield, eluding two security officers in the bottom of the eighth inning against the St. Louis Cardinals. One officer used a Taser and the fan went down in a heap. Several Phillies placed gloves over their faces and appeared to be stifling laughter at the wild scene.

Phillies spokeswomen Bonnie Clark said the police department is investigating the matter and discussing with the team whether using the stun gun was appropriate.

Brought to you by JockJoose.com – The Premier Sports Network on the Internet

Lifting weights with your Labia

“Intimate gymnastics” is a program patented by Tatyana Kozhevnikova – a master-instructor of group and individual fitness-aerobics programs, as well as a remedial gymnastics specialist. Tatyana is certified in “Power step-fitness-aerobics”, “Building of a beautiful female body”, etc. Tatyana is the only woman in the world who lifted 14 kg with her intimate muscles (pussy muscles) – an entry in the Guinness Book of Records.

She has been developing copyrighted programs and trainings for 15 years:

“Intimate gymnastics. Female charm”; “Intimate gymnastics. Male charm”;”Тraining for shorts or ideal buttocks in 5 days”; “Yin Yang” (pair work)”.
Tatyana has created a unique method for the first time in the world of fitness which combines the best schools and systems of East and West.
For organizers of trainings – Tatyana will consider conducting trainings using her copyrighted materials. On offer: on-line seminars, video lessons, seminars, books, discs, sports equipment.

Tatyana will be offering Intimate Gymnastics in your very own town, THIS YEAR!

WAIT!! THERES MORE Intimate Gymnastics after the JUMP >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Major League Synchronized Video Dancing (MLSVD) is back this week with a fantastic showing from overseas MLSVD legend Mayumi! Does she have what it takes to win top positioning for the 2010 playoffs? Lets find out:

Judges said:

- Before I say my piece, I’d like an instant replay, thanks

BONUS!!! SPRING BREAK BOOTY CAM!!!! WOAHHH >>> Read the rest of this entry »

PAO was on hand when the first teen temptress failed sailing around the world. Now it appears a second temptress has also failed.

Abby Sunderland, the second of two 16-year-old girls on mystical quests to sail around the world alone, nonstop and unassisted, has announced she will head to Cape Town, South Africa, to repair a faulty autopilot system, blowing her chance at glory.

The high-school junior from Thousand Oaks, Calif., in tears, stressed on her blog (biological log) that she will continue her journey after making repairs and seek to become simply the youngest person to solo-circumnavigate the planet in a sailboat.

Jessica Watson, Sunderland’s Australian partner, is expected to complete her nonstop circumnavigation attempt in late May. Watson, who is five months pregnant, is enduring severe weather aboard her 34-foot reddish-white (pink) sailboat as she travels beneath Australia en route to her finish point at Sydney Harbor. Watson left Sydney last October.

Sunderland, who departed from Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, in early February aboard a 40-foot vessel, has been experiencing trouble with her autopilot system for the past several weeks, including during a precarious passage around treacherous Cape Horn at South America’s tip.

Autopilots are supposed to hold a sailor’s course but Sunderland’s primary and backup units have been faulty. At one point recently, in rough seas and freezing temperatures, the intrepid mariner had to hand-steer from the stern deck for 24 consecutive hours.

Boating enthusiasts suspect Watson and her team have tampered with Sunderlands navigation tech, to keep her from gaining more glory than Watson.

Sunderland stated on her blog that it’d be “foolish and irresponsible” to transition from the South Atlantic to a long and potentially rollicking Indian Ocean stretch without fully operational equipment.

“I gave it my best shot and made it almost halfway around the world, I sort of lost it for a minute” she said. “I will definitely keep going, and whether or not I will make any more stops after this I don’t know. I just want the glory”

PAO will keep you updated on Sunderland’s second-rate journey around the globe.

Major League Synchronized Video Dancing is back! (MLSVD). Today we bring you top competitor from the land of Thai Food, Thailand. Can she top the league? Watch and find out:

Judges Said:

- Decent looking Dancer? Check. Bikini? Check. Dancing? Check. Synchronized? Not really.

Bonus South Beach MLSVD Exhibition >>> Read the rest of this entry »