Pineappleope.com

That is right. Hybrid Taxi. This is the way you do it folks. Save money on cards and buy nice cars. Like this guy. He got a hybrid, and now he has cross pollinated his taxi business with the Red Sox, creating his own brand. Take a seat Madison Avenue, we have got you beat!

Rebranded! New and improved phone number! Call today, ride tomorrow!

When you think of Lance, for most of you, a member of ‘N Sync comes to mind… for Pineappleope.com, LANCE® snacks. Members of the PAO Food and Drug Administration (PAOFDA) got their grubby hands on a package of Lance® Toast Chee^TM Crackers – real Penut Butter. The PAOFDA developed a completely encompassing review…

Category Ratings:
*each score is out of a possible 10 – reviewers were drinking Tab the diet drink introduced in 1963 during the review
Taste: 7
Crunch:7
Satisfaction: 7
Looks: 7.5
Consistency: 7
Packaging: 7
Name: 7
As a Lunch Food: 7
As a Dinner Food: 7
As Breakfast: 6.7

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Apple’s 3g iphone (tresG for our Spanish speaking audience) has made its way into my hand this past weekend. The 3g has replaced my original iPhone, which was unable to stay in one piece during its short life (8months). The iPhone gets most its use for internet pornography (see:LubeTube) and checking stocks, mostly.

In my time with the 3g I have been somewhat satisfied. Lets run through some of the PROs:

1. it is black – black makes it looks cool and hip and can help get you into hard to get into clubs
2. its 3g – this phone actually rings when people call and makes phone calls when you make a call, unlike the original, which had connectivity issues
3. MazeFinger compatible – Mazefinger the app still works on the 3g.
4. Its louder – The phones speaker is noticably louder, which enhances some existing apps, like atomicFart
5. GPS is solid – I can now locate myself better, instead of a big circle surrounding the state i am in, the gps equipped iphone 3g can now pinpoint where im at. (note: it doesnt track how you got to said destination)

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Unfortunately Chief was not thrilled with the new ending…

We’re gonna long distance review this one. Verdict? 3 fistpumps out of 12. Hi tech. Likely something Macguyver keeps in his pockets.. just in case.

heavy data flow

PAO staffer Lori “the load” Balancer got her hands on some new CHIPS. Since she only uses Twitter we got a quick review from her – here are the tweets, compounded and edited.

“The Cape Cod Potato Chips were in a small bag with alot of air. Opening the bag (see gallery) proved that there was really not much in the bag. Chips tasted potatoey. Not very salty and not fatty at all. Turns out they reduced the fat by 40%. Crunchy. Pen cap comparison shoes size. Though empty, bag is spacey enough for a hand.”

There is a new best shoe in town. Its the Air Trainer Max 91, Bo Jackson’s signature shoe. It’s important to replace your shoes every 300 to 500 miles, but getting new shoes every couple of months can get expensive. But the better you take care of your shoes, the longer they’ll last. That’s why Nike introduced the Air Trainer Max 91, Bo Jackson’s signature shoe.

This shoe, Nike Air Trainer Max 91 has a superb midfoot fit, thanks to a lacing system that uses holes to secure the laces to the midsole and snugly lock the shoe around the foot. Many of our testers appreciated this feature, but some felt the shoe was heavy. The upper has an added closed mesh that screens out dust and water. The midsole and outsole are great, so the sole is still somewhat firm underfoot. Recommended for training of all types and for those who also mix in a little pavement pounding.

 
 
Interesting Fact: In the live concert Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Coming Out of Their Shells, during the Foot battle, Donatello states “This is one thing Bo don’t know,” referring to his trademark Bo stick.

Continue reading the review, click below
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There comes a point in ones life when you would like to order some food because you ain’t got none at your residence. It happens this happened last night. A chicken bacon ranch sandwich from dominos was delivered and ate.

Dominos, while known for its tubesteakhamburgerzzafest pizza, makes a limited selection of sandwiches which are toasted. We had the chance to test the chicken bacon ranch.

The sandwich came in a box, similar to the pizza boxes from dominos, but smaller as you can imagine. So opening the sandwich was not much of a problem. One word of caution to our readers, if you are not familiar with pizza box, you may find the sandwich box tricky, to say the least.

Chicken Bacon Ranch itself was a trip. The bread tasted like bread sticks, the cheese was melted. There was a little bacon, not as much as I expected though, which definitely lost the sandwich a couple points. There was some ranch flavoring as well. The ranch didnt really make much of a difference, tastewise. Even if you dont like ranch, this sandwich won’t kill you, as there is little ranch flavoring. There was some chicken in the sandwich too, but you couldnt really tell.

READ THE REST OF THE REVIEW, FIND OUT THE BOTTOM LINE – CLICK BELOW
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*note, it is not raspberry flavored

On a recent trip to the food and bev station, I found a need to consume something other than salty crunchy stuff. A victim of a very strong COLD, and a headache from cookie eating assholes wearing hats, the time came to review some pills. 

As you see to the right, the manufacturer is “Xpect” – based on their complete misunderstanding of the word they meant to spell, I can only assume the pills come from China. And if so, I Xpect some taintedness – thank goodness its Friday, and that I have a cold ZAZZ to disinfect and act as a base. 

Tearing the package was easy for a normal sized person. Fat people likely have to eat the whole packet, as it requires some nimble fingers to get the edge just right. 

those are not small

Upon opening, I let the two pills fall out, in disbelief. They are the size of friggin cookies! I have included a pencap for comparison. They looked pink almost like Flintstone’s Vitamins from the days of old. There was no real odor. 

These pills are like Alanis Morrisette’s album, JAGGED LITTLE PILL. I popped one and my brain knew immediately this was bad news. I hesitated to throw it back and then suffered the awfulness of not-flintstone’s-vitamins that was under my tongue. The potential antifreeze flavor isn’t very pleasant. Grabbing my only beverage handy – a cold ZAZZ – I chugged the f’er down. It didn’t go easy and I think it still lodged in my throat. I repeated this with the other ridulously massive piece of sidewalk chalk, and realized that it began to fizz with the ZAZZ – CHUG CHUG CHUG to clear my air way and all is well now.. whew. 

10 mintues into this experiment, there are noticeable gains! The mongo sized pills apparently pack a punch. My ears are clearing up – I can now hear again, and my headache is fading slowly.  The fight will continue though, as the fcktard hat wearing cookie eating party throwers are still yapping away as if they were Plato and Socrates.  So far, though, so good. Fist pumps? We’re going with 3. I wouldn’t eat these on a normal day basis – but maybe a an added feature to a drinking game, or of course if you need MAXIMUM STRENGTH COLD RELIEF.

When you think of ‘cheating with chocolate’ usually, 9 times out of 10, only one thing comes to mind. Pineappleope.com has had a chance to review an up and coming diet people snack food, “Sensible Portion’s Cheating with Chocolate, S’mores with milk chocolaty drizzle.” At only 100 calories, this snack food has little chance to fill you up. Despite the low cal-count(R), this food still packs a weighty net weight of .84oz.

What Sensible Portions has done here is disguised a regular nickle sized rice cake, with low quality chocolate ‘drizzle’. If you are not a fan of rice cake, there is no chance you will enjoy these ‘Drizzled mini crisps.’ I found myself neither enjoying or un-enjoying myself during my experience with this snack food. The fake marshmallow flavoring in the s’mores variety was pretty awful and definitely justified the “artificially flavored” label on the packaging. My mouth tastes like a combination of stale wheat and plastic and black coffee.

Click below for the rest of the review, and final results
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chips n zazz

Baked Ruffles. Cheddar and Sour Cream flavor. This reviewer was pulled in not by the generic packaging which makes it blend into the other awful tasting baked chips, but by the Ruffles branding. They’ve got Ridges, ya know? Opening the chips was easy. Good, because I wanted to get to these chips fast. The bag is wide enough for a medium-large sized hand – I am not sure how fat people would fare here. It may require some further research and case studies. Later this year we may launch a focus group for such PAO testing.

The chips themselves – pretty uniform – same ridges everywhere with a good, bent, hexagonal shape. The orange cheese coating was really only on one side, and not as even as the ridgey texture. I found no sour cream in the bag. What’s up with that? You will note in the photos that the reviewer chose a tasty beverage to go with the sampling – Raspberry ZAZZ Seltzer water. Its ZAZZTASTIC. And goes well with the Cheddar and no sour cream chipsss.

orange!

Back to the Chips. Most baked chipss are horrible. Like eating cardboard with a hat. Those kinds get about 1 fizzy pump out of 10, because they have some crunch and some salt. Now, the Ruffles have more going for them, as you can see in the photos. With Ridges, cheese flavoring, and the consistent shape (really not many were broken), I wholeheartedly give these bad boys a solid 4 fizz pumps out of 10.

You’ve come to the right place for blow gun reviews. Recently, Pineappleope.com had a chance to review a blow gun, a Jungle Blow Gun, the JBG. Probably one of the most awesome weapons available on the internet, the JBG is outstanding. The JBG was purchased online at JungleBlowGun.com. This website has tons of blowguns. The JBG we reviewed was a .44 Cal with Urban Camo paint job. It came with assorted darts to blow, including broadheads. These darts are the real thing, one dart to the eye could easily cause eye-loss or death.

The JBG came with one warning: Do not aim at anything you do not intend to kill. I was completely satisfied with the JBG’s potential to cause harm, it is quite deadly. The accuracy was also outstanding. The JBG is able to carry extra ammo in its quivers. The JBG has the ability to make any occasion special.

Click below for the rest of the review and Score
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Pineappleope.com Food and Drug Administration (PFDA) had a chance to review un pizza from Dominos Pizza, one of the worlds largest pizza suppliers.

It was a nice sunday when….. CLICK BELOW FOR THE FULL REVIEW
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This is one if the best things to eat at night when out thinking about eating.

[UPDATE] People sent in complaints for not fully describing this piece of food. Here are the details.

The sandwich was manufactured at… CLICK BELOW TO FOR FULL REVIEW
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This here drink is made from some unique ingredients such as filtered water and pyridoxine. It packs quite a tasty punch. With no artificial colors OR flavors, this fuze beverage separates itself from the other beverages such as moxie and yoohoo. The drink itself goes down pretty easy, you can definitely taste the tea flavor. You can’t really tell it is made from both green and black teas, but over extended drinking periods you can sort of make out the two types of tea.

Overall, this drink is satisfying and I would recommend it to a beverage drinker. I’d suggest serving it mcchilled not over ice. 7 fist pumps out of 10.