Pineappleope.com

What we KNOW - its called the iTablet - its coming to Verizon and ATT - it will use the AppLibrary – not the AppStore - it will read ebooks - it will have full screen apps - it is has fully integrated wireless N and asynchronous GPS - it will replace your iphone and your ipod - it will blow your fcking mind - it will require you to have a European Carry-All (cool!) - it will have an OLED screen - you will get laid if you have one

What we don’t know - will it cure herpes? - will it work on TMobile - will it have a front facing camera? - how is its Sexting abilities? - can it stream porn? - can it play DIVX porn? - will it have multi touch porn apps? - how many fart apps will run on it at the same time? - can my mom use it? - can your mom use it?

And the big question.. WTF does it look like?? Here are the best renderings we’ve got:

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One can only speculate.. but if we were the gambling sort, we’d definitely wager that this was the sex toy Carrie Prejean uses in her homemade sex video. Carrie was not available to comment unfortunately.

JimmyJane is referring to the Form 2 as a rabbit vibe (and given its resemblance to a certain Sanrio character, it’s not hard to see why). But don’t be fooled: this isn’t the Rabbit Pearl you’re dealing with. The Form 2 is a world away from the toy that was the toast of the “Sex and the City” set.

Form 2 Sex Toy Leaves Fleshbot Satisfied (NSFW) – Form 2 sex toy review – Gizmodo.

We trYd 2 rvw thHis wt the whel butt 2 hard

It’s a tough weekend for movies. You have the option of watching The Hills’ Audrina Patridge in ‘Sorority Row’ or the three D cartoon movie ‘9′.

PAO attended early screenings for both films last week in NYC. PAO Reviewers gave ‘Sorority Row’ a 8.5, while ‘9′ received a 4.

Hear what everone else is saying:

“Sorority Row does rollercoasters one better” -Jake Illsworth

“Audrina iz(sp) fuckin’ hot” -Tiffany Ames

“9 lacks the charm of Toy Story” -Gregg Funbourne

“Sorority Row is the MUST SEE of ‘09″ -Tom Payne

 
Sorority Row is Rated R for strong bloody violence, partying, language, sexuality/nudity and partying.

9 should be Rated PG but its Rated PG-13 for violence and scary images.

 

Spoiler Alert: Audrina Patridge dies in the very first few minutes of ‘Sorority Row’

Spoiler Alert: Audrina Patridge Naked: Read the rest of this entry »

 
A+

 

Which photo is your favorite? Yeah she’s wearing clothes but what do you think? Or should she just stick to not wearing a shirt?

Wikipedia says:

Wilde was born in New York City on March 10, 1984 as Olivia Jane Cockburn. Her mother, Leslie Cockburn (née Corkhill Redlich), is a 60 Minutes producer and journalist, and her father, Andrew Cockburn, is an Irish journalist, as are her paternal uncles Alexander and Patrick, all of whom are contributors to the political website CounterPunch.org. Her half-aunt was the late writer Sarah Caudwell. Her paternal grandfather was the Irish-born novelist/journalist Claud Cockburn. Wilde has said that as a result of her family background, she has a “strong journalistic streak”, being “really critical and analytical”.[1] She has wanted to become an actress since the age of two.[1] For a short time, Olivia’s family had a house in Guilford, Vermont, USA. Wilde attended Georgetown Day School in Washington, D.C., as well as Phillips Academy in Andover, Massachusetts, and subsequently moved to Dublin, Ireland, where she attended The Gaiety School of Acting.[1] She initially began working as a casting assistant.

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“If form and function hijacked a ship it would be called the HMS Oakley Eyepatch.”

They Say:

Yaar matey. Whether ye have one eye or ye have em both, shield yer eyes from harsh glare reflected off flat surfaces like snow, pavement, and water with the Oakley Eyepatch Polarized Sunglasses. To give you the highest quality optics available, Oakley milled the Eyepatch’s lenses from a single piece of impact-resistant Plutonite polycarbonate. The result is a sunglass that’s as functional on the lake or on the road as it is fashionable. Oakley’s new Square O logos prove this Eyepatch is a genuine Oakley article

PAO Says:

After receiving a pair of these Oakley Sunglasses, PAO was bummed out to find they come with two lenses – they look like normal glasses. These DO NOT LOOK LIKE AN EYEPATCH.

This is looking like a misguided attempt by Oakley to cash in on Pirate Fever.

FINAL RATING: * 1 star out of a possible 10

.

Simply put, the Teflon-coated back just feels and looks a lot better than the iPhone’s—now crappy looking, I admit—plastic back. The Hero’s polytetrafluoroethylene—the technical name for DuPont’s Teflon—coating feels perfect in your hand. It doesn’t appear to get any skin oil at all. No greasy fingerprints, just a perfect matte finish no matter how much I touched it.

It feels and looks like a white thermal tile out of NASA’s shuttle.

via Gizmodo – Materials: The HTC Hero’s Teflon Coating Makes the iPhone Feel Like Junk – iPhone 3G.

(Brought to you by Foodenator.com)

Written By MississippiStyleVanillaSweetcheeks

Juice boxes!
Of 50 proof whiskey!
With a demon on the front!!!
Aint no Capri, son.

For those rabid mazefinger fans, and for those poor saps without iPhones who would like to present the MIT Maze Pen. This pen provided a solid 10 minutes of maze running action, as we worked to move the ball from one end of the pen to the other. Once we succeeded, we opened up new levels of play as we proceeded to move the ball back to the other end of the pen. All in all, a very satisfying experience but with limited replay value.

Ratings:
As a pen: *** (out of ten)
As a maze: ********** (out of ten)
As an iPhone replacement: ***** (out of ten)
NOTE: As an iPhone replacement, the maze pen sure impressed the girls but we were not able to place or recieve any calls. We might wait for a 3G version of the maze pen to be released, MIT says this will probably happen Q4 of 2009.

Mexico City, MX – PAO bargain hunters recently ducked into a vintage outlet store in an effort to avoid some infected swine flu carriers in downtown Mexico City.

The situation ended very positively – turns out the swine flu-ers were not infected – they were actually Mexican drug czars dressed up in pig suits, in their own efforts to avoid both the pig flu swine pandemico (pandemico is Spanish for pandemic).

The other positive note here is that our correspondents took refuge in some vintage Ikea furniture – likely left in Mexico hundreds of years ago by Swedish settlers Ponch de Leon and Columbono. The old furniture was intact with impossible to follow instructions and totally stupid tools. In the chair pictured here, the tools were empty shotgun shells which attached to some sort of wingnut contraption.

PAO’er Lance Monstoke said “it was like a monkey with piggy swine flu trying to fly fish in salt water”.  Sounds awful, Lance. He and Maria Chowdon, our 20yr old Brazilian intern, both enjoyed their time in the shop.

The chair does maintain a very rustic attitude of the olden times in Sweden – these days its nothing but hot bikini clad blonds – back back in the day, things were a  bear! Literally! Chairs and cars alike. This Bear Chair actually could walk, with a mini steam powered engine inside the assembly. Very cool – unfortunately the engine was removed in Mexico as a precaution. Swine flu is spread by steam and energy which is how it made the jump to humans from piglets.

In any case.. our researchers managed to bring this chair home for a hefty price of 35 pesos, and 2 viles of our in-house experimental swine vaccine. Nice work guys!

That is right. Hybrid Taxi. This is the way you do it folks. Save money on cards and buy nice cars. Like this guy. He got a hybrid, and now he has cross pollinated his taxi business with the Red Sox, creating his own brand. Take a seat Madison Avenue, we have got you beat!

When you think of Lance, for most of you, a member of ‘N Sync comes to mind… for Pineappleope.com, LANCE® snacks. Members of the PAO Food and Drug Administration (PAOFDA) got their grubby hands on a package of Lance® Toast Chee^TM Crackers – real Penut Butter. The PAOFDA developed a completely encompassing review…

Category Ratings:
*each score is out of a possible 10 – reviewers were drinking Tab the diet drink introduced in 1963 during the review
Taste: 7
Crunch:7
Satisfaction: 7
Looks: 7.5
Consistency: 7
Packaging: 7
Name: 7
As a Lunch Food: 7
As a Dinner Food: 7
As Breakfast: 6.7

 

Keep Reading for FINAL COMMENTS and FINAL RATING Read the rest of this entry »

Apple’s 3g iphone (tresG for our Spanish speaking audience) has made its way into my hand this past weekend. The 3g has replaced my original iPhone, which was unable to stay in one piece during its short life (8months). The iPhone gets most its use for internet pornography (see:LubeTube) and checking stocks, mostly.

In my time with the 3g I have been somewhat satisfied. Lets run through some of the PROs:

1. it is black – black makes it looks cool and hip and can help get you into hard to get into clubs
2. its 3g – this phone actually rings when people call and makes phone calls when you make a call, unlike the original, which had connectivity issues
3. MazeFinger compatible – Mazefinger the app still works on the 3g.
4. Its louder – The phones speaker is noticably louder, which enhances some existing apps, like atomicFart
5. GPS is solid – I can now locate myself better, instead of a big circle surrounding the state i am in, the gps equipped iphone 3g can now pinpoint where im at. (note: it doesnt track how you got to said destination)

CONTINUE READING the CONS and FINAL WORD and FINAL RATING Read the rest of this entry »

Unfortunately Chief was not thrilled with the new ending…

We’re gonna long distance review this one. Verdict? 3 fistpumps out of 12. Hi tech. Likely something Macguyver keeps in his pockets.. just in case.

PAO staffer Lori “the load” Balancer got her hands on some new CHIPS. Since she only uses Twitter we got a quick review from her – here are the tweets, compounded and edited.

“The Cape Cod Potato Chips were in a small bag with alot of air. Opening the bag (see gallery) proved that there was really not much in the bag. Chips tasted potatoey. Not very salty and not fatty at all. Turns out they reduced the fat by 40%. Crunchy. Pen cap comparison shoes size. Though empty, bag is spacey enough for a hand.”

There is a new best shoe in town. Its the Air Trainer Max 91, Bo Jackson’s signature shoe. It’s important to replace your shoes every 300 to 500 miles, but getting new shoes every couple of months can get expensive. But the better you take care of your shoes, the longer they’ll last. That’s why Nike introduced the Air Trainer Max 91, Bo Jackson’s signature shoe.

This shoe, Nike Air Trainer Max 91 has a superb midfoot fit, thanks to a lacing system that uses holes to secure the laces to the midsole and snugly lock the shoe around the foot. Many of our testers appreciated this feature, but some felt the shoe was heavy. The upper has an added closed mesh that screens out dust and water. The midsole and outsole are great, so the sole is still somewhat firm underfoot. Recommended for training of all types and for those who also mix in a little pavement pounding.

 
 
Interesting Fact: In the live concert Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Coming Out of Their Shells, during the Foot battle, Donatello states “This is one thing Bo don’t know,” referring to his trademark Bo stick.

Continue reading the review, click below
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There comes a point in ones life when you would like to order some food because you ain’t got none at your residence. It happens this happened last night. A chicken bacon ranch sandwich from dominos was delivered and ate.

Dominos, while known for its tubesteakhamburgerzzafest pizza, makes a limited selection of sandwiches which are toasted. We had the chance to test the chicken bacon ranch.

The sandwich came in a box, similar to the pizza boxes from dominos, but smaller as you can imagine. So opening the sandwich was not much of a problem. One word of caution to our readers, if you are not familiar with pizza box, you may find the sandwich box tricky, to say the least.

Chicken Bacon Ranch itself was a trip. The bread tasted like bread sticks, the cheese was melted. There was a little bacon, not as much as I expected though, which definitely lost the sandwich a couple points. There was some ranch flavoring as well. The ranch didnt really make much of a difference, tastewise. Even if you dont like ranch, this sandwich won’t kill you, as there is little ranch flavoring. There was some chicken in the sandwich too, but you couldnt really tell.

READ THE REST OF THE REVIEW, FIND OUT THE BOTTOM LINE – CLICK BELOW
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On a recent trip to the food and bev station, I found a need to consume something other than salty crunchy stuff. A victim of a very strong COLD, and a headache from cookie eating assholes wearing hats, the time came to review some pills. 

As you see to the right, the manufacturer is “Xpect” – based on their complete misunderstanding of the word they meant to spell, I can only assume the pills come from China. And if so, I Xpect some taintedness – thank goodness its Friday, and that I have a cold ZAZZ to disinfect and act as a base. 

Tearing the package was easy for a normal sized person. Fat people likely have to eat the whole packet, as it requires some nimble fingers to get the edge just right. 

Upon opening, I let the two pills fall out, in disbelief. They are the size of friggin cookies! I have included a pencap for comparison. They looked pink almost like Flintstone’s Vitamins from the days of old. There was no real odor. 

These pills are like Alanis Morrisette’s album, JAGGED LITTLE PILL. I popped one and my brain knew immediately this was bad news. I hesitated to throw it back and then suffered the awfulness of not-flintstone’s-vitamins that was under my tongue. The potential antifreeze flavor isn’t very pleasant. Grabbing my only beverage handy – a cold ZAZZ – I chugged the f’er down. It didn’t go easy and I think it still lodged in my throat. I repeated this with the other ridulously massive piece of sidewalk chalk, and realized that it began to fizz with the ZAZZ – CHUG CHUG CHUG to clear my air way and all is well now.. whew. 

10 mintues into this experiment, there are noticeable gains! The mongo sized pills apparently pack a punch. My ears are clearing up – I can now hear again, and my headache is fading slowly.  The fight will continue though, as the fcktard hat wearing cookie eating party throwers are still yapping away as if they were Plato and Socrates.  So far, though, so good. Fist pumps? We’re going with 3. I wouldn’t eat these on a normal day basis – but maybe a an added feature to a drinking game, or of course if you need MAXIMUM STRENGTH COLD RELIEF.