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This is a self explanatory paost. I won’t bore you with details or buildup. Put down that egg mcmuffin and get ready for some Monday madness:
PAO action will be significantly reduced due to the impending Blizzard of 2011. PAO staff are hitting the slopes in search of the elusive brazilian snow bunny
Great Job Team
Continue to our Tasteful Snow Bunny Gallery >>> Read the rest of this entry »
One day until Christmas. Official notification from Us at Pineappleope.com. This will be the LAST update on XMAS countdown.
Due to the impending holiday, PAO will not be featuring a Q&A session today. Pineappleope.com would like to inform you about the lack of coverage expected next week, due to PAO’s mandatory holiday break.
Great Job Team
HERE IS YOUR PAO HOLIDAY BONUS >>> Read the rest of this entry »
Ten days until Christmas. Official notification from Us at Pineappleope.com.
During the Countdown Pineappleope.com will be fielding questions from our readers (submitted to chief@pineappleope.com):
To: PAO
Is Sexmas a real Holiday? If so, Is it celebrated on December 25th?
From: Amy C., MA
Well, Amy, that is certainly a good question. Sexmas is an awesome variable for the term “X-mas” which in turn is a bastardation of the winter holiday celebrating the birth of Christ, “Christmas”. Not necessarily referring to a Christmas with sex. Sexmas could be celebrated any day of the year, not just on December 25th. Though on December 25th, Sexmas could be celebrated.
Merry Sexmas And A Happy New Year!
-perrf, PAO Author
Crazy day in PAOville once again. Despite our high profile aquisitions and unstoppable hiring spree, we always find time to enjoy the high life. Today’s PAO event was a doozy, sending several PAO executives straight home afterwards.
Hot, nasty street tacos and cold beverages were downed – but spirits were nothing but upped as PAO looks to wrap up its 3rd solid year of internet dominance. Discussions about street tacos came up over and over – and there was a big accord on the fact that the best street tacos are found deep in the heart of Mexico, where street workers are very generous with the hot, cheesy taco meat.
All in all, the State of the PAOnion is of course summed up by one word – FANTASTICAL. FCUK YEAH, keep it REAL PAO!
PAO got word it has expanded beyond 60,000
Hard facts below
The Bullet Points
Continue to the PAO SIXTY THOUSAND PLUS PICTORIAL >>> Read the rest of this entry »
Hustler’s breaking the bank on its 3D—er—reimagining of Avatar, and here’s the trailer to prove it. Those noble Na’vi will stop at nothing to protect their Viagratanium
– per Gizmodo. Amazing. We are on the list for a sneak-peak viewing in 2 months – should be one HELL OF A New Year!!!
Office workers have to celebrate birthdays with discretion and good planning.Throwing a party takes time, and there may be more than one employee celebrating a birthday in one day. Having a set plan or a list of ideas of how to have a meaningful office birthday celebration is the best way to be successful.
Researchers at PAO questioned 45 humans, with ages ranging from 14 to 62. Each human gave their top 30 Office Birthday ideas. After Tallying each result. Calculating every response. Number crunching every statistic… the number 1 office party idea is …
OUT TO LUNCH BIRTHDAY BENDER
If the company you work for is top, like PAO, they will offer to pay upwards of $2000 for an office birthday party at a restaurant during lunch time. Make it a common ritual where everyone goes out for every person’s birthday. Free food. This type of office birthday celebration doesn’t requires decent funding since ya’ll will be slugging brews, margaritas, and scotch. It will also provide an opportunity for co-workers to spend time together and relate outside the working environment.
…there are living Office Birthday Lunch HATERS… those who have GRIPES about partying during work…
“You see, I’m a faithful brown bagger. The majority of my colleagues go out to lunch every day, but there’s usually one of two fellow brown baggers who stay behind. It’s someone different every day, but I usually have someone to eat with me. But today is someone’s birthday, so I’m eating alone.” – Jon Thompson
“Saying no to the birthday lunch is no easy feat. In addition to the email reminders I’ve received for the past few days, about 10 people stopped by my desk this morning to remind me. “It’s Susan’s birthday today! I know you normally bring a lunch, but you’re coming today, right?” I politely declined. “You’re not coming? Oh, come on, you can eat leftovers any day! It’s Susan’s birthday!” Through all the pressure, I stood my ground. Not easy considering the fact that birthday lunch pressure is even greater than the everyday pressure to go out to eat. “ – IdontlikeSusan@gmail.com
“Many people just cannot fathom why I wouldn’t want to join them. They think that if they ask me several times with varying degrees of insistence, I might change my mind. Some people get downright pushy. While I appreciate the invitations, enough is enough.” – Derek
“It’s hard to say no, especially when people act dumbstruck. They have a point. Who doesn’t enjoy getting out of the office to enjoy a nice lunch? I know I do. But I’ve made a commitment to save money, and unnecessary restaurant meals were the first thing to go. We have plenty to eat at home, and it costs a fraction of what I would pay at a restaurant. If I don’t draw the line at this birthday, then when will I? If we don’t set limits and stick to them, then what’s the point of setting limits?” – Carla Panther
PAO sometimes commissions professional food critics on our sister site, FOODENATOR.COM. Not only does this increase our overall knowledge of all things food, but it also saves my hands from typing too much BS. Sometimes you just gotta let the minions do the work, ya know?
Well, a year ago, we did that – and they reviewed the SHIT out of some Clif Bar Mojo action. Go see for yourself:
[Review Time] Clif Mojo Trail Mix Bar – Peanut Butter Pretzel and Mixed Nuts | Foodenator.
First bite – GOOD. Very GOOD. Like.. really, good. Better than any Clif Bar, Power Bar, Luna Bar, and possibly better than every granola bar ever made. Read the rest of this entry »
Couldn’t keep up with rent, so today is moving day. I am relocating. Relocation, also known as moving is the process of vacating a fixed location and settling in a different one. Often big corporations, such as Pineappleope.com, relocate their employees for short- to long-term assignments abroad. Quite often such relocation is supported by a special relocation Pineappleope.com personnel, who help internationally assigned personnel to look for a new house, jobs for children, conduct local culture training and in general terms support in integration into new society.
Having said that, lets get the live blog started:
8:00am: woke up put a pineappleope.com shirt on
8:14am: ate rest of food and condiments in fridge
8:16am: waiting for movers to show
8:34am: still waiting for movers to show, live-blogging the move
8:39am: dialed comcast to transfer service to new pad
8:41am: some angry comcast woman on the phone, wishes me a good afternoon
8:55am: …finished hearing about the latest deals, stick with current basic cable plan
9:10am: phone call from movers, stuck in traffic ETA 9:45am
9:15am: knock on the door. its some realtor… asks if i wake and baked and when ill be out.
9:17am: realtor seems ok with the 11ish departure. asks me to leave keys on counter and leaves
9:26am: looking for koi pond on android store
Continue reading >>> Read the rest of this entry »
Yup, before “Be Kind Rewind” was ever put on paper, some smart kids were already remaking crappy movies with a crappy camera. But back in the 70′s, this was an incredible remake of a crappy movie on a sweet-as-balls camera. I think it was a Flip – not HD though. Check check it out. King Kong beats on this kids like no other.
Don’t feel like doing much today…or ever? Read the following tips belowwwww
Take Some Alone Time
You need a change of scenery. Print out your work, and take it into the conference room to read over. But bring along some magazines, a Chinese finger trap, or even a newspaper.
Get Some Air
You just need to stretch your legs and get out of the office for a bit, offer (but don’t accept) to do a coffee run or drop off mail for your co-workers. This way, your extended break actually crowns you the office hero.
The Alt Tab Magic
Learn the magic of alt-tab (or apple-tab on a Mac). This keyboard shortcut scrolls through your open windows quickly, ideal for when your boss’s heels are clacking down the hallway. It’s a much smoother response than reaching for the mouse to minimize a window, which can look suspicious to nosy bystanders.
Blogs as Industry Intelligence
Staying on top of industry news is part of your job, but who says you need to limit your reading to fusty trade papers? Bookmark the snarky blogs that cater to your industry (for New York media, try Pineappleope.com; Wall Street warriors check out Pineappleope.com). If you get busted “wasting time on the Internet”, feign shock, and explain your web-based research methods.
KEEP READING ALL THE SLACKER TIPS + POLE BONUS >>> Read the rest of this entry »
Sometimes, working for a high profile, high powered company like Pineappleope forces you to test limits. It forces you to do whatever it takes to get things done. Today was a day like that. Drink all afternoon and then log into work at midnight. The team is counting on you. What do you do???
1. Concoct a beverage to keep things interesting. Guinness and iced coffee. DONE.
2. Get your stuff done. DONE.
3. Wait on inferior teammates to do their shit. Not done.
4. In case of 3 failing, like it is right now, analyze PAO stats. PAO stats are a never ending source of knowledge and power.
5. In case of 4, share with the world some of this new power that feeds your brains. SO, what do creatures of the night need from PAO? Here’s a rare glimpse into the private data of PAO datacenters..
So there ya have it.. no one wants anything but some hot action tonight. Way to go, team. Way.. to.. go.
On acid in a closet and his buddies recorded him then put animation. to him.
Mr.Balloon Hands
