Pineappleope.com

Couldn’t keep up with rent, so today is moving day. I am relocating. Relocation, also known as moving is the process of vacating a fixed location and settling in a different one. Often big corporations, such as Pineappleope.com, relocate their employees for short- to long-term assignments abroad. Quite often such relocation is supported by a special relocation Pineappleope.com personnel, who help internationally assigned personnel to look for a new house, jobs for children, conduct local culture training and in general terms support in integration into new society.

Having said that, lets get the live blog started:

8:00am: woke up put a pineappleope.com shirt on

8:14am: ate rest of food and condiments in fridge

8:16am: waiting for movers to show

8:34am: still waiting for movers to show, live-blogging the move

8:39am: dialed comcast to transfer service to new pad

8:41am: some angry comcast woman on the phone, wishes me a good afternoon

8:55am: …finished hearing about the latest deals, stick with current basic cable plan

9:10am: phone call from movers, stuck in traffic ETA 9:45am

9:15am: knock on the door. its some realtor… asks if i wake and baked and when ill be out.

9:17am: realtor seems ok with the 11ish departure. asks me to leave keys on counter and leaves

9:26am: looking for koi pond on android store

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Yup, before “Be Kind Rewind” was ever put on paper, some smart kids were already remaking crappy movies with a crappy camera. But back in the 70′s, this was an incredible remake of a crappy movie on a sweet-as-balls camera. I think it was a Flip – not HD though. Check check it out. King Kong beats on this kids like no other.

Don’t feel like doing much today…or ever? Read the following tips belowwwww

Take Some Alone Time
You need a change of scenery. Print out your work, and take it into the conference room to read over. But bring along some magazines, a Chinese finger trap, or even a newspaper.

Get Some Air
You just need to stretch your legs and get out of the office for a bit, offer (but don’t accept) to do a coffee run or drop off mail for your co-workers. This way, your extended break actually crowns you the office hero.

The Alt Tab Magic
Learn the magic of alt-tab (or apple-tab on a Mac). This keyboard shortcut scrolls through your open windows quickly, ideal for when your boss’s heels are clacking down the hallway. It’s a much smoother response than reaching for the mouse to minimize a window, which can look suspicious to nosy bystanders.

Blogs as Industry Intelligence
Staying on top of industry news is part of your job, but who says you need to limit your reading to fusty trade papers? Bookmark the snarky blogs that cater to your industry (for New York media, try Pineappleope.com; Wall Street warriors check out Pineappleope.com). If you get busted “wasting time on the Internet”, feign shock, and explain your web-based research methods.

KEEP READING ALL THE SLACKER TIPS + POLE BONUS >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Sometimes, working for a high profile, high powered company like Pineappleope forces you to test limits. It forces you to do whatever it takes to get things done. Today was a day like that. Drink all afternoon and then log into work at midnight. The team is counting on you. What do you do???

1. Concoct a beverage to keep things interesting. Guinness and iced coffee. DONE.

2. Get your stuff done. DONE.

3. Wait on inferior teammates to do their shit. Not done.

4. In case of 3 failing, like it is right now, analyze PAO stats.  PAO stats are a never ending source of knowledge and power.

5. In case of 4, share with the world some of this new power that feeds your brains. SO, what do creatures of the night need from PAO? Here’s a rare glimpse into the private data of PAO datacenters..

Claymation porn

extreme bikini

Maria+Kanellis+playboy

vanessa hudgens nude

olympic nipple slips

looking+at+a+boner

ashley+tisdale+no+clothes

carrie prejean video

jessica+biel

So there ya have it.. no one wants anything but some hot action tonight. Way to go, team. Way.. to.. go.

On acid in a closet and his buddies recorded him then put animation. to him.

Mr.Balloon Hands

Thom Yorke, a talented but little-known backup singer for the band Radiohead, has decided to break with the band over apparent “artistic differences”. The band Radiohead made a big splash at the Grammy’s last year when they showed up to replace Britney Spears, even pulling off some of her own dance moves in unison, leading many critics to say that they had become little more than a boy band and generating a public outcry. Apparently tempers flared after the bad PR, and Thom has been working ever since on his so-called “nuevo-huevo” rock project.

“I originally started this project as a medium to explore a fusion of R&B, Mariachi and Acid Jazz, but after SB 1070 hit I decided I could stay silent about the project no longer and want to begin touring as soon as this Fall. If I reach even one person with the beauty of this music, it will have been worth losing my finger in that cymbal accident.” – TY

Yorke’s unnamed project is being influenced by hip-hop heavyweight B-Real, who is expected to produce a live album from the tour. Other hip-hop/r&b notables that will be appearing on tour with Yorke will be Darren Robinson a.k.a. “Buff Love” of the Fat Boys and R. Kelly. The first single, Blind as a Guvnah, is now available for free download on http://www.waste.uk.com/

5 our of 5 choreologists agree – “there has never been a better tutorial on how to do household chores. Ever.”

Some of us leave work early more often than others. Sometimes to eat at Fuddruckers. For those of you who do leave work early and often, the majority of you are known as the awesomes of the office. However, with the right mix of creativity and operational excellence, you can become an early exit-er without consequence.

The following tips will have you moving up the corporate ladder from the seat of your couch in no time:

Do not wear a jacket. If a jacket is absolutely necessary, try to hang your jacket in the main lobby area our outside of busy areas where people will see you wearing a jacket. Wearing a jacket wreaks (smells) of “I’m heading out for the day”. The absence of a jacket relieves some of the anxiety involved in leaving work early.

Keep your computer logged on and if your workplace has an instant messenger device, ALWAYS stay logged on. We’re fully aware of the fact that most corporations require you to log off at the end of each day, or at the very least, lock your computer. Locking your computer automatically triggers your status to “Away” on most versions of corporate instant messaging software. This is an absolute no-no. By keeping your computer on and remaining logged on, not only do you have the ability to leave whenever you want, but you can also arrive whenever you want.

If possible, time delay meaningless e-mails. Microsoft Outlook provides a time delay option that allows you to write and send a message long before it is actually sent. Best practice is to delay these emails by 2 hours. If you plan on leaving work at 3pm, be sure to time delay the email for 5:13. The random time provides further proof that you were in the office past 5pm and lessens any chance of a manager detecting the time delay. As for the content of the email, it is always safe to ask questions in which you already know the answer.

Always search for alternate escape routes. Most buildings have multiple exit paths. Side doors, back doors, and fire exit staircases are your best friend. Make sure to mix it up and NEVER, EVER use the elevators.

Always leave your jacket hanging on your chair. If someone is looking for you, they’ll think you’re at a meeting or in the bathroom. More often than not, the visitor doesn’t return because they rarely have something important to say.

Always schedule doctor or dental appointments in the early afternoon, but not too early. Tell your manager you’ll make up the hours in the morning. Always be aware of your manager’s typical arrival time. For example, if your manager always arrives at 8 a.m. and you’ve got a dental appointment at 3 p.m., tell your manager you’ll come into work a couple hours early. Rather than showing up at 6 a.m. show up at 7:55 a.m. The previous day, utilize item #6 and time delay an e-mail to be sent at 6:06 a.m.

Independence day falls on July 4th this year, for most Americans and Jessica Simpson, it is this coming Sunday.

For only US citizens this is a Federal holiday commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain. While US citizens don’t have to work on the 4th, you will still see illegal migrants manning hot dog stands and crushing lemons for fresh lemonade.

A few observations:

Great Job Team

Yes folks, the MLSVD (Major League Synchronized Video Dancing) is back, and as inspirational as ever. Blondie Shay dances her face off to some of the most inspirational audio we’ve heard in months. Sporting an inspiring black thong, Shay is really going for it this time…

Judges Said:

- THAT ENDING!!! THAT ENDING!!! WHAT A FUCKING TEASE!!!

You’ve earned that spanking, from three chicks! Two of whom have really nice upper bodies, WATCH YOUR BONUS >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Run like there is something to frolic about. RUN FOR THE BEST CAUSE EVER.

Run the Krit Classic II

The Krit Classic II

http://kritclassic.com

Run it, Sunday June 6th

..or walk like a slow mo fo

They took this down off of youtube but we thought you guys could use another peak! Video after the break

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PAO staffers occasionally disagree about important issues. When these situations arise, we usually just execute one of the dissenters. This sends a stern message to the rest of the staff to get along. But when the issue is trivial, we don’t advocate fatal punishments, we encourage the workers to resolve their differences using pranks and fisticuffs. One example is to lure another employee into a discussion about LDAP or Twatter or your boring fishing blog. This is a pretty extreme punishment, so in general lets try simpler, more corporal punishments. Below, you can see this strategy in action, captured on one of the many surveillance cameras we have setup throughout PAO world headquarters.

• Tags: corporal punishment, HR methodologies, HR techniques, punish derrick 
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