Pineappleope.com

The Sling is back for 2012. The sling swimsuit style all but disappeared in 2011 with the resurgence of the one-piece. PAO staffers were on hand when the major swimwear corporations unleashed their 2012 lines. Here is a quick, by quick PAO means slow, run down:

Classy Pansy - Look like a flower in this violetish swim suit

"The Black Belt" - The sling that looks like a belt, but is actually quite a bit more functional

CONTINUE ON TO THE REST OF THE SLING 2012 GALLERY >>> Read the rest of this entry »

You’ve always wanted to be really good at giving bikini and Brazilian waxings. Here is your chance to become a pro. Pineappleope.com is proud to offer free internet waxing degrees. Simply watch the following film:

“I am the best waxer now. Thanks PAO”
-David C.

“Didn’t know it was SO SIMPLE. Until Now”
-AJ

“I was always messing up. Now, I am a professional and make a living off waxing”
- Michelle T.

The Official Battling system of the Internet has been released, to the public. The non disclosure agreement has ended. VERSEU,is what the Battle system is named. Located at http://verseu.com. They are currently hosting a number of battles, including the epic battle between Sexting vs Jump Rope. Check it out:

priceless

Current Battles:

Pineappleope.com went one-on-one with VERSEU this past week, in a sneak-preview for technology industry leaders. 2 Pineappleope.com employees were flown out to sunny southern California for a hands-on, behind closed doors, preview of VERSEU.

After 8 hours of straight online battling, Pineappleope.com came to the absolute conclusion, VERSEU will lead the rest of the internet into the next generation of the internet, tentatively called web3.0 (internet3, PAO prefers).

Since the VERSEU internet battle system is in its infancy (being released so recently, its so raw), we hesitate to give it a perfect score of 10 stars, but we never hesitate at PAO

10 out of a possible 10
**********

Keep on the lookout for an official Pineappleope.com VERSEU profile.

Xmas jam time!!! walk walk!!

yo he walkin wit his tits mommy!!

MORE AFTER THE BREAK! Read the rest of this entry »

Yes folks, the MLSVD (Major League Synchronized Video Dancing) is back, and as inspirational as ever. Blondie Shay dances her face off to some of the most inspirational audio we’ve heard in months. Sporting an inspiring black thong, Shay is really going for it this time…

Judges Said:

- THAT ENDING!!! THAT ENDING!!! WHAT A FUCKING TEASE!!!

You’ve earned that spanking, from three chicks! Two of whom have really nice upper bodies, WATCH YOUR BONUS >>> Read the rest of this entry »

The FDA has refused to publish safety standards for sunscreen products. That’s nearly three decades of keeping the public in the dark about the extremely harmful, cancer-causing chemicals found in sunscreen products.

Cleveland Solar Group (CSG) has spent the past 7 years researching the effects of the sun, the sun on skin, sun screen on skin, and skins effect on sunscreen.

As the CSG’s research reveals, an incredible 84% of sunscreen products are harmful to consumers. You read that right: More than four out of five sunscreen products actually harm the people who use them.

That’s no surprise to Pineappleope.com readers, of course. We’ve been sounding the alarm on the toxicity of sunscreen products for years. We’ve also hammered at the sick conspiracy between the cancer industry and the sunscreen industry to keep people diseased so that both industries make more money.

Avoid the sunscreen dangers at all costs, before its too late

Battle the Sun online! VERSEU.com – Internet Battles

Banging two bitches at the same time is easier done than said when you study and follow these easy three-way tips.

1. Have Massive Parties
We’re talking – an overcrowded lawn of at least fifty people, music blared so loudly across the block that only gesticulating and smiling is necessary, beautiful bodied women indulging in booze and a mutual attitude of recklessness. Everyone should be sufficiently lubricated (liquor-wise…) as you position yourself near the young, single bunch ‘o bitches. Start talking up two bitches, alternating equal attention to both. Keep it up, making sure they are connected not only to you, but to each other – try to get them flirting with each other, bitches at parties often do. The more relaxed they become with three-sided banter, they closer they come to the three-sided bedroom.

2. Jacuzzis
Jacuzzis activate sensuality in all bitches. The next time you find yourself beside the bubbly jet with a couple of bitches at a dispersed party, seize your chance. Sit yourself between the two of them, drawing them in with conversation with subtly insinuating talk. Make it clear through flirtation that you’re attracted to both and not one in particular, otherwise the other prospect will forfeit. Splash around, throw jokes and make the jacuzzi your personal bathtub and by the time you’re brave enough to instigate, they’ll practically be expecting it.

3. Friends On Vacation
Though two straight best friends definitely provide a scenario different from two seasoned lesbians, girls on vacation can unleash the craziest desire for sexual deviance. Might we say, moreso than two seasoned lesbians. When meeting two chinese, brazilian, botswanan, mexi or malato or whatever friends perusing the liquor selection at your local bar, offer to show them a good night on the town. Sheapard them around to your favorite places, treat them like your gorgeous, little bitches and end the night with the blitzed three of you bouncing around your pad.

Continue to #’s 4 through 13 >>> Read the rest of this entry »

There comes a point in ones life when you screw up your tan, and get an uneven tan. Instead of blaming the sun, you can fix your uneven tan! Follow these 12 easy steps below:

Step 1. Locate your uneven tan.
Step 2. Locate a towel
Step 3. Drive to your county tanning salon with your towel
Step 4. Enter county tanning salon
Step 5. Ask for a 40 minute session
Step 6. Enter tanning bed room
Step 7. Take off your clothes
Step 8. At this point you should be nude, unless of course, you are a never-nude
Step 9. Cover the tanned part of you with the towel
Step 10. Enter Tanning bed
Step 11. Tan as long as it takes to make the untanned skin match the tanned skin
Step 12. Eat a hand sandwich

Check out our exclusive tanning photos >>> Read the rest of this entry »

With Memorial Day weekend almost here the anticipation for the weekend grows each minute, at Pineappleope.com. It is fortunate for Pineappleope.com staff that the Pineappleope.com staff have been awarded this Memorial Day weekend.

Here are some promising activities to keep you busy through out this long holiday weekend:

1) Frisbee with your wife

2) Frisbee with shades on

Great Job Team

Beach season can be very exciting. The problem: For the first few weeks, this excitement can be overwhelming – Because up until a few weeks ago, we were only able to see half naked woman from the screen of our PC’s (where it is acceptable to have a monster erection). It’s sort of like seeing a lion at the zoo vs seeing one out in the wild.

We know this transition can be difficult, so we’ve outlined a few tips for you this summer season.

Dig A Hole In The Sand – At the first signs of giant hard-on some of us tend to panic and roll over immediately. This can be painful if not executed properly. And depending on your shorts, there is a possibility of your little buddy getting a sneak peak of some sun light. Stay calm and dig a small hole where your pelvic region meets your towel. This will allow your yogurt slinger to safely and comfortably retract.

Pretend Like You’re Stretching – Stretching at the beach is commonly practiced, so you won’t have to worry about looking awkward. People will think you’re about to go for a jog or a power swim. Hiding a boner will be the last thing on anybodies mind.

Place Beer Between Legs – If you’re in a situation where you’re in a lawn chair, you may not want to lose your seat. Fear not, this is but a perfect opportunity to crack open another cold beer.

The beer can works in two ways.

1. It can be used to cover an unwelcome bulge.
2. The chilling beer can works as an electric fence when it comes into contact with your penis.

Conclusion: The first few weeks of beach season can be a true testament of one’s willpower and focus. When venturing away from your towel to retrieve more food and beverages, we’d suggest that you keep your line of site directly in front of you. If at anytime you become distracted, just think of this guy.

via Helpful tips to conceal your boner at the beach .

This is a self explanatory paost. I won’t bore you with details or buildup. Put down that egg mcmuffin and get ready for some Monday madness:

PAO action will be significantly reduced due to the impending Blizzard of 2011. PAO staff are hitting the slopes in search of the elusive brazilian snow bunny

Great Job Team

Continue to our Tasteful Snow Bunny Gallery >>> Read the rest of this entry »

One day until Christmas. Official notification from Us at Pineappleope.com. This will be the LAST update on XMAS countdown.

Due to the impending holiday, PAO will not be featuring a Q&A session today. Pineappleope.com would like to inform you about the lack of coverage expected next week, due to PAO’s mandatory holiday break.

Great Job Team

HERE IS YOUR PAO HOLIDAY BONUS >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Ten days until Christmas. Official notification from Us at Pineappleope.com.

During the Countdown Pineappleope.com will be fielding questions from our readers (submitted to chief@pineappleope.com):

To: PAO
Is Sexmas a real Holiday? If so, Is it celebrated on December 25th?
From: Amy C., MA

Well, Amy, that is certainly a good question. Sexmas is an awesome variable for the term “X-mas” which in turn is a bastardation of the winter holiday celebrating the birth of Christ, “Christmas”. Not necessarily referring to a Christmas with sex. Sexmas could be celebrated any day of the year, not just on December 25th. Though on December 25th, Sexmas could be celebrated.
Merry Sexmas And A Happy New Year!
-perrf, PAO Author