Pineappleope.com

VATICAN CITY (Reuters) – President Barack Obama promised Pope Benedict on Friday that he would do everything possible to reduce the number of abortions in the United States, the Vatican said.

via Obama tells pope he wants to reduce abortions in U.S. | Reuters .

Kim Jong II is the prime suspect in the latest web attacks against the US. These powerful attacks overwhelmed computers in the US for days and was even broader than initially realized, also targeting the White House, the Pentagon and the New York Stock Exchange.

The United States is currently determining what next steps to take in order to snuff out and end the tyranny of the North Korean dictator. Kim Jong II, one of the world’s top computer hackers (haxxorz), has been cited for cyber crimes before, but never such a significant cyber crime as this.

[UPDATE] Kim Jong II has been sighted at a North Korean Starbucks using a Dell Latitude Laptop.

[yahoo!]

Hitler Escaped Death by Traveling to ‘not so secret’ German Base in Antartica via UFO.

Actual US Archive Footage

News broke last Friday that Sarah Palin not only won’t run for re-election in 2010, but would also be resigning from office later this month was the latest drama to surround the former Republican presidential running mate …

The latest in the Palin drama came this morning, when a close friend (of Palins) suggested she has been in talks with several clothing companies and a possible modeling contract. Two major clothing firms have been rumored to be in a bidding war for Palin, August Max Woman and Jordache.

Clearly, its still very early to determine whether or not Palin is slated to become the next older woman model. Pineappleope.com can confirm, Palin is not cut out to be governor of Alaska, or any other state for that matter.

President Obama opened his first Moscow summit with confidence and several shots of vodka, saying he expects “extraordinary progress” out of the Russian meetings set to test his diplomatic skills on important priorities such as nuclear arsenal reductions and the fight in Afghanistan.

via AP

Affluent drinker, Obama ripping shots on the campaign trail

ScienceDaily (July 2, 2009) — A human growth factor that stimulates blood stem cells to proliferate in the bone marrow reverses memory impairment in mice genetically altered to develop Alzheimer’s disease, researchers at the University of South Florida and James A. Haley Hospital found.

via Alzheimer’s Symptoms Reversed With Stem Cells.

Iranian state television’s Channel Two is playing a Lord of the Rings marathon in an attempt to keep people inside watching hobbits and not protesting in the streets. Normally people in Tehran are treated to one or two Hollywood movies a week, but with recent events the government hopes that sitting through a nine hour trilogy will take the fight out of most. Perhaps this was not the best choice in films if you want your people not to believe that “even the smallest person can change the course of the future.”

VIA Slashdot

Ahmadinejad says “Obama is acting like Bush”. Obama says “No I ain’t”

FIGHT

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad accused Barack Obama of behaving like his White House predecessor and called on him to apologize for what he called U.S. interference following Iran’s elections…

PAO Octagon Girl Says FIGHT

Pineappleope.com West and Pineappleope.com East have agreed they both should take the higher road – DUKE IT OUT IN THE OCTAGON. According to fight enthusiasts, most agree Obama would be the clear winner with his 1 and a half foot reach advantage over Mahmoud.

PAO readers … place your bets

Sources close to a spy who reported to a middle east news magazine that reported to Pineappleope.com say that the possibility of partial Iranian secession is growing. The movement to separate East Iran from Regular Iran is gaining more supporters every day the protests continue.

Experts suggest Twitter is the source of this movement

Just yesterday, PETA tried to jump on the coattails of the cat killer case by pushing their anti-dissection agenda, but we’ve got a feeling the fallout from their latest stunt is really going to make certain corners of Miami explode with outrage.

They’ve convinced Lydia Guevara, granddaughter of Che and a vegetarian, to pose topless for a campaign with stylistic nods to her infamous granddad. In a preview pic obtained by El Mundo, Lydia is decked out in Che’s famous red beret, a set of carrots displayed like bullets in a bandoleer covering her breasts, and holding up a fist.

The campaign, PETA’s first foray into Spanish marketing, will debut later this year in South America, and an English version is planned. No word on whether they plan on putting a billboard up over Calle Ocho.

Miami – Riptide 2.0 – Che Guevara’s Granddaughter Poses Topless for PETA.

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger sent Senate President Pro Tem Darrell Steinberg a metal sculpture of bull testicles….

…It was intended as a gag gift but Steinberg, a Democrat, was not amused and returned the football-sized gift with a terse note about the seriousness of the ongoing negotiations.

According to sources, Schwarzenegger’s gift was in response to an earlier gag gift he had received from Steinberg: a package of mushrooms after the governor called Democrats’ budget proposals, which included tax increases, “hallucinatory.”

The Take Away:

- Schwarzenegger should make Running Man 2 !

Reports are flooding in that Ayatollah Ali Khamenei (THE Ayatollah) is in fact, a prude. He apparently turned down this Iranian Babe. PAO is waiting for confirmations, but decided on running the story based on Ayatollah’s history.

Iran’s Interior Ministry announced Saturday that incumbent President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad had won 63.29% of the vote in the country’s presidential election — a landslide….

…But Iran’s opposition leader Mir-Hossein Mousavi says he won and that the result had been rigged!

CONFIRMATION! Iran’s election may have been rigged! PAO will keep you posted as details emerge