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The Praying Mantis, super deadly. Can it kill hummingbirdzilla? Or will hummingbirdzilla kill the praying mantis?

Nature Enthusiasts said:
- preying Mantis are awsome i have fed black widows and scorpians to them and the mantis just kills them really fast its pretty cool.

- dude seriously, if I wanted to learn about nature I’d just open my parents bedroom door.

PLAY NOW >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Hot chixxx love smoking the ganj. We all know this. And players worth their salt are usually up to toke one with said beautiful baby. But some players supplement their loco cake slinging ways by holding down day jobs. There is nothing wrong with this per se, but occasionally a day job involves drug testing. If you had to shit and get off the pot, so to speak, it is important to keep your pantries well stocked with dank buds anyways. You wouldn’t want to tell this babe that you don’t have any, would you?

Are they doing this on purpose? Did god do this? If so, then why? This shit turns me on, and will likely get you off in similar fashion. The video is less ‘hilarious’ and more ’sexy’. If you can take the sex, you will no doubt love the video.

Nature Enthusiasts said:

- how mature

To the disappointment of Spring, Phuxitony Phil the Groundhog saw its shadow today, Ground Hog day 2010. PAO got its hands on the rodent Phil, and shot some before after pics

PHUXITONY BEFORE PAO

SEE WHAT HAPPENS!! EXCLUSIVE AFTER PIC >>> Read the rest of this entry »

“Cats, always making it harder than it has to be”

“Boy, that is one evil family. Laughing as the family cat is about to get chomped on by a bear. Even the baby got in on the hilarity.”

“I was expecting the maniacal laughter to turn into screams as the bear made short work of that cat. If I had a family pet that was trying to battle a fucking bear, I doubt I’d be laughing about it.”

“question! which bear is best?”

“you call that a fight?”

PAO Monday Fights features Goose Versus Dog today. We believe the goose to be Canadian born.

Heard at the match:

- Dogs are supposed to be predators, that dog is inbred and a puss.

- tie it up and drown it in the wake of the boat

“the irony here is that it is a butter knife”

Shortly after this video was made, the FDA required child proof containers be placed around all of the fun drugs.

Today’s match up is a Donkey Versus a Man with very loose pants. The outcome will melt your brain

Overheard in the crowd:

- jaajajaajajaajajajajajajajajaj ajajajajajajajajajaj

- siempre me e preguntado qe pasa despues

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Warren Beatty’s long-time reputation as a womanizer has apparently gotten a boost with the publication of Peter Biskind’s biography, “Star: How Warren Beatty Seduced America.”

According to published reports in the New York Post, Biskind estimates Beatty bedded 12,775 women, even though the 72-year-old “Shampoo” star did not lose his virginity until he was 20.

According to reports, Biskind says this figure “does not include day-time quickies, drive-bys, casual gropings, stolen kisses and so on.”

The star, who has been married to actress Annette Bening for almost 18 years, has been linked in the past to a host of women including Jane Fonda, Natalie Wood, Joan Collins and Madonna.

According to Biskind, an Oscar statuette was an aphrodisiac for the actor and explains his long list of A-list conquests.

In a statement to the Huffington Post, Beatty’s attorney, Bertram Fields, claims the book is an unauthorized biography.

“Mr. Biskind’s tedious and boring book on Mr. Beatty was not authorized by Mr. Beatty and should not be published as an authorized biography,” Fields says. “It contains many false assertions and purportedly quotes Mr. Beatty as saying things he never said. Other media should not repeat things from the book on the assumption that they are true or that the book is an authorized biography.”

Children of a retired drama teacher, Beatty and his sister, actress Shirley MacLaine, grew up in suburban Virginia. He got his start opposite Natalie Wood in 1961’s “Splendor in the Grass” and gained prominence opposite Faye Dunaway in the 1967 hit “Bonnie and Clyde.”

FINISH WARREN’S STORY >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Today, December 21, Citizens around the globe are celebrating ‘Dog Attack Defense Day’. Pineappleope.com is doing our part to save lives and limbs of PAO readers. Here are PAO’s Dog Attack Defense tips:

Step 1. Never, EVER, look an angry dog in the eye.

Step 2. Things NOT to do:

*Do not let him get behind you! Dogs naturally attack from behind.
*Do not baby talk! That’s a sign of submission and gives the dog the upper hand.
*Do not smile! That’s as good as bearing your teeth to an attacking dog.
*Do not run away! You won’t get far!

Step 3. If the dog is charging, do the following.

*You MUST face the attacking dog! Turn your body towards it but don’t look at it. (This goes against our instincts, but it must be done.)
*Place anything you might be carrying infront of you. A purse, backpack, ect.
*Look away from the dog, but not WAY away. Head up, turned SLIGHTLY away from Fido, and keep him in your pereferal vision. The dog must be able to see your face to read it.
*Make yourself BIG. Put your hands on your hips and keep your chin up. Stand tall!
*Stay calm.

Step 4. Now comes the really interesting part.
You must “radiate” your intentions. Wait, don’t close the page! This isn’t newage mumbo-jumbo. Our bodies have been reflecting our thoughts through body language since our earliest ancenstors. So here is what you must think and feel:
“I do not want to fight, but I will not back down. This is my space. I do not want to intrude on yours.”
Repeat this in your mind over and over until you see a change in Spike.

Step 5. After some time, the first sign of acceptance by the dog should be him looking away. Don’t be fooled, you’re still his main focus, he’s just telling you that you’re not lunch any more. He may continue to bark, and follow, but he’s much less likely to harm you.

Step 6. Back away slowly. Once you’re at a comfortable distance, you may turn and keep walking, then Fucking Sprint! Chicken Voila, you’re unscathed!

* Keep in mind – Like most tactics, this tactic isn’t fool proof. All I can say is that it’s worked every time I’ve been attacked. Dogs are getting smarter, they may have already found a work around…

The Winner will BlOW YoUR MiND!

Making friends in Montana

Largebuck here. Out here in Montana they take bull riding and stuff real serious. In order to blend in with the natives, I decided I better attend to my inexperience with some much needed practice. After loading up the Land Rover with seagull jerky, and lacing several gallons of water with methamphetamine, I began searching for a ranch to practice my craft. I began the search the lands around the cabin, using a rigid grid pattern. But something in the peyote buttons I was chewing on reacted with the seagull meat or the meth, I am not sure which. In any case, my search grid took on a fractal dimension the second day. By day three I was just driving around willy nilly when I stumbled onto a whole dairy filled with bovine like creatures. I peered through my third eye to see more clearly, and they were in fact cattle! Elated, I began by earning the creatures trust. Leaving my .44 Magnum in the Land Rover, I stripped down to show them I was unarmed. At this point I proceeded into the field, unmolested by the hairy beasts, who for some reason seemed to be mildly anxious about my presence. Alas, I searched the nether regions of every single cow in the ranch and not a single one had cock or balls! In other words, no bulls, and no bull riding. I will have to find some other way to blend in here. But being on the dairy farm did bring up an interesting question that I beg our readers to explain. Please see the poll after the break…

Supposition: Suppose a prison has a dairy, and as depicted in the Kurt Vonnegut novel Breakfast of Champions, the prisoners have sex with the cows and the milk from the cows is sold to the public.
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PAO correspondent Largebuck here. I have relocated to a remote part of Montana after discovering a cache of liquor, drugs and weapons hidden under a ramshackle cabin by the late, great, Hunter S. Thompson. I was on assignment, tracking Sarah Palin, but fuck that bitch, there must be over 1000 ampules of amyl nitrate here. There isn’t a lick of food here, but I have been able to sustain myself primarily by killing things with the guns and ammo left behind by Thompson. My diet consists almost entirely of seagulls, which flock to the nearby junkyard. After eating one or two balls of hashish, and washing it down with a fifth of absinthe, I trek overland for about 4 miles to the dump. There are seagulls galore here, albeit the sea is almost 1000 miles away. The only sea around here is the sea of vomit I am creating from eating these wretched birds. Which makes me wonder. Why the fuck are these things called seagulls? What should they be called?

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