Pineappleope.com

You’ve always wanted to be really good at giving bikini and Brazilian waxings. Here is your chance to become a pro. Pineappleope.com is proud to offer free internet waxing degrees. Simply watch the following film:

“I am the best waxer now. Thanks PAO”
-David C.

“Didn’t know it was SO SIMPLE. Until Now”
-AJ

“I was always messing up. Now, I am a professional and make a living off waxing”
- Michelle T.

MORE AFTER THE BREAK! Read the rest of this entry »

Beach season can be very exciting. The problem: For the first few weeks, this excitement can be overwhelming – Because up until a few weeks ago, we were only able to see half naked woman from the screen of our PC’s (where it is acceptable to have a monster erection). It’s sort of like seeing a lion at the zoo vs seeing one out in the wild.

We know this transition can be difficult, so we’ve outlined a few tips for you this summer season.

Dig A Hole In The Sand – At the first signs of giant hard-on some of us tend to panic and roll over immediately. This can be painful if not executed properly. And depending on your shorts, there is a possibility of your little buddy getting a sneak peak of some sun light. Stay calm and dig a small hole where your pelvic region meets your towel. This will allow your yogurt slinger to safely and comfortably retract.

Pretend Like You’re Stretching – Stretching at the beach is commonly practiced, so you won’t have to worry about looking awkward. People will think you’re about to go for a jog or a power swim. Hiding a boner will be the last thing on anybodies mind.

Place Beer Between Legs – If you’re in a situation where you’re in a lawn chair, you may not want to lose your seat. Fear not, this is but a perfect opportunity to crack open another cold beer.

The beer can works in two ways.

1. It can be used to cover an unwelcome bulge.
2. The chilling beer can works as an electric fence when it comes into contact with your penis.

Conclusion: The first few weeks of beach season can be a true testament of one’s willpower and focus. When venturing away from your towel to retrieve more food and beverages, we’d suggest that you keep your line of site directly in front of you. If at anytime you become distracted, just think of this guy.

via Helpful tips to conceal your boner at the beach .

Today we reach, deep into that sack known as the mailbag. Yup, its been a while, and boy do we have a good one today – literally, a question for the AGES, thanks to Marcy32 in Kansas for asking this one!

Q: My boyfriend is awful in the sack. I’m a horny girl. I NEED to orgasm, but I fake it every night (and some mornings) for him because he’s so.. you know. Fast. I don’t want to hurt his feelings. Is there anything I can do to climax WITH him?

A: Well Marcy, sounds like you have yourself quite a pickle – and its a sour one. Fortunately there are many options for you – and Pineappleope is here to help. First, you are not alone. We get many girls asking this question – and we help them all out. Very often – sometimes over and over and over again.

Usually we recommend just pleasuring yourself in front of a camera, and sending it to us – so we can assess your situation better and provide better guidance. More often than not – we also recommend experimenting with friends.

For your case, we have devised something a bit less orthodox. Since your boyfriend, lets call him Eduardo, is such a prick, we want you to make him feel like less of a man.. subtly. See, the trick here is to get off in front of him, before he even knows what’s going on. How, you ask? Well.. rollercoasters!

Yes – just go to the amusement park. While driving there, we recommend ‘warming yourself up’ in the car – we know Eduardo isn’t talking to you anyway. He’e probably adjusting his greaseball hair in the mirror while he drives his busted ass KIA down the highway. BABY BLUE! So – diddle it up! Once you get to the park, simply run to the first roller coaster. We guarantee that within minutes, you’ll be moister and happier than a juicer gangbangin guido at the tanning salon.

Don’t believe us?? Check out this video from Amanda89!!! >>
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Scientists working overseas in conjunction with local PAO scientists have developed the speediest and least invasive breast augmentation technique. Electrocute your boobs into enlargement

Focus Group Feedback:

- I need to take a trip to Asia !

- is there such a thing as an ugly chinese woman?? I don’t think so…

- IF USED FOR TOO LONG BOOBS MAY EXPLODE IN YOUR FACE

- FUCK I WANT ONE FOR MY ASIAN GIRLFRIEND

- 20 bucks says most women end up with this thing down their pants.

I’m “calling in sick” at work tomorrow to build mine. If I survive, will report back.

Quotables:

that is a mother of all slingshots!!!! D

Remember the kazoo? Yeah.. it’s old school, and practically extinct.

Today, a new kazoo-ish musical instrument has been discovered. Take a straw, giant boobs, and blow. Check it. This girl does some wild things to her giant voluptuous breasts, all while keeping things totally SFW. It’s shocking, amazing, and quite musical. Read the rest of this entry »

Rock on, baby monkey. Rock.. On.

Office workers have to celebrate birthdays with discretion and good planning.Throwing a party takes time, and there may be more than one employee celebrating a birthday in one day. Having a set plan or a list of ideas of how to have a meaningful office birthday celebration is the best way to be successful.

Researchers at PAO questioned 45 humans, with ages ranging from 14 to 62. Each human gave their top 30 Office Birthday ideas. After Tallying each result. Calculating every response. Number crunching every statistic… the number 1 office party idea is …

OUT TO LUNCH BIRTHDAY BENDER

If the company you work for is top, like PAO, they will offer to pay upwards of $2000 for an office birthday party at a restaurant during lunch time. Make it a common ritual where everyone goes out for every person’s birthday. Free food. This type of office birthday celebration doesn’t requires decent funding since ya’ll will be slugging brews, margaritas, and scotch. It will also provide an opportunity for co-workers to spend time together and relate outside the working environment.

…there are living Office Birthday Lunch HATERS… those who have GRIPES about partying during work…

“You see, I’m a faithful brown bagger. The majority of my colleagues go out to lunch every day, but there’s usually one of two fellow brown baggers who stay behind. It’s someone different every day, but I usually have someone to eat with me. But today is someone’s birthday, so I’m eating alone.” – Jon Thompson

“Saying no to the birthday lunch is no easy feat. In addition to the email reminders I’ve received for the past few days, about 10 people stopped by my desk this morning to remind me. “It’s Susan’s birthday today! I know you normally bring a lunch, but you’re coming today, right?” I politely declined. “You’re not coming? Oh, come on, you can eat leftovers any day! It’s Susan’s birthday!” Through all the pressure, I stood my ground. Not easy considering the fact that birthday lunch pressure is even greater than the everyday pressure to go out to eat. “ – IdontlikeSusan@gmail.com

“Many people just cannot fathom why I wouldn’t want to join them. They think that if they ask me several times with varying degrees of insistence, I might change my mind. Some people get downright pushy. While I appreciate the invitations, enough is enough.” – Derek

“It’s hard to say no, especially when people act dumbstruck. They have a point. Who doesn’t enjoy getting out of the office to enjoy a nice lunch? I know I do. But I’ve made a commitment to save money, and unnecessary restaurant meals were the first thing to go. We have plenty to eat at home, and it costs a fraction of what I would pay at a restaurant. If I don’t draw the line at this birthday, then when will I? If we don’t set limits and stick to them, then what’s the point of setting limits?” – Carla Panther

We’ve been running in stealth for the past few months, as we’ve negotiated deals and developed software (that’s done), but it seems you’ve broken the seal on the jar of kind bud, so we’re announcing on TechCrunch:

http://HighStranger.com

“Chatroulette for High People!”

Peace,

Dude

PS: We’re in LA and we’re looking for our head of marketing, PR, and social media. Maybe a hot designer, too

via HighStranger Is Chatroulette, For Stoners.

The Copley Killer Drama has come to an end. It has been a wild ride since 2009, with Pineappleope bringing you second to second details of the long an arduous journey…

The former medical student accused of killing a masseuse he met through Craigslist used his medical training to take the easy way out and killed himself at the Boston jail where he was awaiting trial.

Philip Markoff, 24, a former Boston University student, pleaded not guilty in the fatal shooting of Julissa Brisman, of New York City, and the armed robbery of a Las Vegas woman. Both crimes happened at Boston hotels within the span of four days in April 2009. Rhode Island prosecutors also accused him of attacking a hot stripper that week.

Law enforcement sources told Pineappleope.com that Markoff used his “medical training” to cut his life short, stabbing himself in major arteries in the leg and neck with a pen (ball-point) before putting a plastic bag over his head.

Jail officials found Markoff unresponsive in his cell Sunday morning in the Nashua Street Jail, the Suffolk County district attorney’s office said in a statement Sunday, and he was pronounced completely dead at about 10:15 a.m.

“Using a pen to commit suicide was unexpected since for the most part Markoff was notoriously an internet user.” – Jake Couture, Nashua Street Jail Guard, 3rd Shift

Copley Killer Highlights:
[Moving On] Craigslist Killer’s Former Fiancee Ends Relationship “Forever”

[UPDATED!] Copley Killer linked to PAO correspondent

ever wander what a HOPA was? or a HPOA? This chick tries to show you – she quit her job for being labeled a HPOA. See if you can figure it out! more photoz at thechive!

On acid in a closet and his buddies recorded him then put animation. to him.

Mr.Balloon Hands

Amazingly no one got stabbed or tasered. Quite a fight though.. a lesson learned for criminals. Pokemon is serious shit, do don’t interrupt to steal milk money.

PAO’s Islander correspondent “Poncho” Mike Honcho has sent us a few photos of the scene. Seems like he got distracted however..
Read the rest of this entry »