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Happy St. Patricks Day, the second holiday this week. Saint Patrick’s Day is a yearly holiday celebrated on 17 March. It is named after Saint Patrick (circa AD 387–461), the most commonly recognized of the patron saints of Ireland. It began as a purely Catholic holiday and became an official feast day in the early 1600s. However, it has gradually become more of a secular celebration of Ireland’s culture.

Today, Saint Patrick’s Day is widely celebrated in America by Irish and non-Irish alike. Many people, regardless of ethnic background (muslims, afganis, inuit, etc), wear green-coloured clothing and items. Traditionally, those who are caught not wearing green are pinched affectionately and slapped violently.

St. Patrick’s Day is also the top day of the year to find leprechauns.

CONTINUE READING, and Collect your Holiday Bonus >>> Read the rest of this entry »

The fine folks at Pineappleope.com give you one last tip before you pre-order your iPad.

“Don’t do it, worst decision of your life.”

5 Obvious facts about Apple’s failed iPad

1. You will be underwhelmed by it

2. It has a lousy 4:3 screen

3. No Cameras, forget about sexting

4. Rusts easily

5. 2 hour battery-life on full charge

APRIL 3

*Only Wi-Fi models of the futuristic semi-laptopable computer will go on sale that Saturday, while ones with 3G networks will be released later in the month.

Details on the new features:

- Super VGA mode, mainly for browsing the internet

- 8 x 6 Official iPad Microfiber Cleaning cloth, which can double as a napkin

- Mii-like avatars

- Adult (18+) Apps

The iPads will run you a pretty penny at: $499 for the 16-gigabyte version, $599 for the 32-gig version and $699 for the 64

Are you sick of using that boring spoon to eat? Does your arm get tired moving a fork from food to mouth, food to mouth, food to mouth? Do knives make you sweat?

Food Lift! The answer to your eating problems

The Reviews:

- I WANT ONE

You will need blue and red 3D glasses to truely experience this. If you happen to be without a pair of 3D’s, just squint really hard.

Focus group said:

- wait, this isnt pandora

Someone asked me once, “if it rains fish, are we all going to die?” – a very valid question. The answer – “maybe”. It really depends what kind of fish.. but the cause of the fish rain will not kill you. Blow fish or sea urchins WILL kill you. No doubt.

If it rains sharks, however – they will eat you from above, so its not even killing, its like god smiting you.  Think of the sharks as lightening – its just your time, buddy.

So.. WHY does it rain sharks and other shit? Asshole tornadoes are the cause – here’s how it happens.

non-believers say:

PLAY NOW >>> Read the rest of this entry »

To the disappointment of Spring, Phuxitony Phil the Groundhog saw its shadow today, Ground Hog day 2010. PAO got its hands on the rodent Phil, and shot some before after pics

PHUXITONY BEFORE PAO

SEE WHAT HAPPENS!! EXCLUSIVE AFTER PIC >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Go to Woot.com and get some DEALS!

Woot Off’s are approximately THIS exciting:

Giga Pudding is a pudding-making kit by Japanese toy company Takara Tomy that outshines all other pudding-making kits for producing a bucket-sized, 20-serving mountain of crème caramel and for spurning a theme song so catchy that it’s been released as a single. Watch the video after the jump. [Warning: Inappropriate for those offended by images of cute food eating itself.]

Tamera uses the Hawaii Chair, and you should.

The focus group said:

- i just died.

A mystery object from f’ng space is about to buzz close by Earth on Wednesday. It won’t hit, but no one knows WTF it is.

Astronomers say it may be Lohan, space junk or it could be a tiny asteroid. It’s 33 to 50 feet wide at most – and is into heavy drugs.

NASA says that on Wednesday at 7:47 a.m. EST, it will streak by, naked, missing Earth by about 80,000 miles. In the western US it may be hot enough to be seen with a good amateur porn star.

via Mystery Object to Whizz by Earth Wednesday – ABC News.

MMmmm get that booty you’ve always wanted. Feel more confident with Booty Pop!

WHAT A DEAL, Forget expensive and tiring exercise! All you need is $20 bucks for Two Fabulous Pairs of Booty Pop Panties. Your fastest way to a dreamy ass!

Unfortunately, there’s only one semi-sexy scene in James Cameron’s blockbuster “Avatar,” but what couldn’t be shown in theaters you’ll be able to watch in the privacy of your own home.

Cameron admitted in a recent group interview that “Avatar” did have a sex scene between Zoe Saldana’s Neytiri, a Na’vi, and the avatar of Sam Worthington’s character, Jake Sully, but he cut it out in favor of a PG-13 rating.

The sex scene itself contains full frontal nudity, both male and female, and last around 25 minutes long. Cameron explained that the scene will really tie together the entire film and viewers should especially be excited for the graphic uncut version, clocking in at 4 hours and 36 minutes.

“That [scene] will be something for the special edition DVD, if you want to see how they have sex,” Cameron said.

(The following is all spoilers, if you don’t enjoy being spoiled… stop reading now.) Read the rest of this entry »

2010 is being called the ‘come back year’ for figure skating, after the event was nearly dropped from the Olympic games. In early 2009 critics of figure skating argued the event was less of a sport and more of a “dance recital on ice” – similar to the popular hit tv program Dancing with the Stars.

Did you know: Figure skating was an Olympic sport before there was an Olympic Winter Games. Figure skating first appeared at the London 1908 Olympic Summer Games with events for pairs and singles (indoor ice rinks could be kept cold even in hot weather). Ice dancing joined the Olympic Winter Games in 1976, when the Games were held in Innsbruck, Austria. The compulsory figures competition was dropped from the figure skating program prior to the Albertville 1992 Olympic Winter Games.

Oksana Baiul - PAO's Long Time Favorite Olympic Figure Skater

At the Olympic Games. Each of figure skating’s four disciplines are adjudicated by a separate panel of 9 International Skating Union (ISU) championship judges using a computer scoring system to measure the quality of each performance. Before each event, there is a secret and random draw to determine which judges’ scores will form the result of the segment. Only seven of the 9 scores are used. A new draw is done for each segment.

Continue the 2010 Olympic Figure Skating Preview, including HOT figure skaters PICS >>> Read the rest of this entry »

The United States Government is in the process of testing the top computer hackers of the world. The task: hacking into as many target computers as you can and then defending those computers from attacks by other skilled hackers, such as Neo and Zero Cool.

Other skilled hackers like Michael Coppola, 17, a high school senior who, at this very moment, is hunched over a keyboard in his Connecticut home.

Or like Chris Benedict, 21, from the tiny town of Nauvoo, Illinois. Chris is sitting silently nearby, one of 15 “All Star” hackers who have taken over this spacious hotel conference room.

At days end, the moderator of this unusual computer challenge declares the best of the best: Benedict is the winner, king of the hacker hill, followed by Bergin and Coppola.

The trio — a job seeker, a grape distributor for a vineyard and a student — are precisely the type of people whom organizers of this event hoped to attract: young techies with perhaps little formal computer education who, nonetheless, could contribute to the defense of the nation’s cybernetworks.

In many cases, organizers of the U.S. Cyber Challenge say, hackers’ skills go unrecognized or unappreciated by those around them and sometimes even by themselves.

“I thought that I would get demolished,” Benedict said. “I didn’t think I would get anything at all.”
Organizers say the competition is aimed at identifying young people with exceptional computer skills and inspiring them to join the country’s woefully understaffed ranks of cybersecurity specialists needed to protect systems used by the military, industry and everyday people.

Hackers may see the U.S. Cyber Challenge, which culminated last Thursday, as a game. But Alan Paller, director of research at the SANS Institute, an information security training institute, says it is really a national talent search.

Continue this Hacking Article >>> Read the rest of this entry »

If you happen to be reading this sentence while sitting in your cubicle at Fidelity Investments, then you’d better stop. Immediately. We cannot guarantee your safety. You’re only one click away from creating a fantasy league, and that would be a serious violation of company policy. In fact, you’ll get FIRED.

According to the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, Fidelity recently axed four league commissioners in the Fantasy Purge of ‘09.

Cameron Pettigrew, who worked as a “relationship manager in a private client group” (which sounds a lot like the job description of a fantasy commish), was among those terminated:

“Firing a guy for being in a $20 fantasy league? Let’s be honest, that’s a complete overreaction,” said Pettigrew, who lives in Grapevine and has an MBA from the University of Texas at Arlington. “In this economic time, especially. To fire people over something like this, it’s just cold.”

That does seem cold. But multi-billion-dollar financial services corporations are not generally known for their warmth. Apparently there are anti-gambling rules in place at Fidelity. (Midcap funds, heck yeah! Football leagues, no).

Said Fidelity spokesman Vin Loporchio: “We have clear policies that relate to gambling. Participation in any form of gambling through the use of Fidelity time or equipment or any other company resource is prohibited. … We want our employees to be focused on our customers and clients.”

They react to allegations of fantasy involvement swiftly, it seems.

[Pettigrew] said he never sent any fantasy football emails at work or using his work email address. But the investigators found two instant messages that had fantasy football-related material.

“One of my buddies sent me something about how bad Trent Edwards(notes) was playing or something like that,” Pettigrew said. “So they called me in and talked to me for about 90 minutes on everything I ever knew about fantasy football.“

FINISH THE STORY, w/ bonus >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Eleven days until Christmas. Official notification from Us at Pineappleope.com.

During the Countdown Pineappleope.com will be fielding questions from our readers (submitted to chief@pineappleope.com):

To: PAO
Is it true Ricky Henderson (of the Oakland Athletics) was born on Christmas Day?
From: Dale R., NV

Dear Dale. Yes, its true. Ricky Henderson was born Christmas 1958. He went on to become one of, if not the best baseball player in MLB history.
-J.Smillweed, PAO Employee