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You just don’t know how to pick out a nice thong and you don’t trust your fellow friends to do it for you. NO PROBLEM. The following video will show you HOW TO PICK OUT A PROPER THONG.

The following video is a compilation of Brazillians who have mastered the ART OF PICKING OUT THE PERFECT THONG – WATCH IT NOW: Read the rest of this entry »

Some people have two left hands when it comes to unlocking devices such as the bra. Some people have fat hands and find bras tricky and often TOO tricky to unlock, and give up and live with failure the remainder of their lives. Luckily, PAO found the Rosetta Stone of bra unlocking here within the following video. Let it serve as a refresher, or a introduction to bra unlocking to unleash the bra unlocker within you.

End of winter has passed, spring is here due to the unseasonable weather. That means its time to dust off your maids and put them to work. If you have survived maid-less this long, its about time you retrieve one.

 
Lucky for our readers, we have an official spring cleaning 2012 check list to get your maids on their way!

1. Have your maid set aside at least a week for a thorough spring cleaning. Work from one end of your house to the other.

2. Dust lighting fixtures.

CONTINUE READING THE SPRING CLEANING 2012 CHECK LIST >>> Read the rest of this entry »

The impossible has happened. PAO had been hacked. Over the course of the past 24 hours, you have may experienced a poor PAO experience. Your less-than-stellar PAO experience was caused by a code injection from a talented yet stupid hacker.

PAO is offering mucho rewards for information leading to the Hackers capture and lifetime imprisonment. Informing PAO of the hackers name will get you an Official XMAS 2011 Edition Pineappleope.com T-shirt.

Bonus if you bring in this The Net hacker:

Lets bring this hacker to justice.

With song titles such as “Making Love Under the Rain”, us at PAO knew what we were getting into. Or at least, we thought we knew…

At times massively loud noises obstruct PAO employees from doing work. During those times we try drowning out the vomit inducing noise with music. At times relaxing music.

When “Music for Healing Sexuality – Healing Nature Sounds and Relaxing Music” compact disc was delivered to PAO offices by FEDEX, all PAO employees passed the disc around drooling over the cover artwork and calling dibs on first listen. Straws were drawn, and I ended up being the first PAO employee to take the disc in, in its entirety.

The disc starts off with a bang, featuring the track “Making Love Under The Rain”. You can vividly hear each drop of rain hitting two lesbians going to town on one another.

“Outdoor Love”, One of my favorite tracks. Its more or less a woman getting off alone.

“Erotic Spa” starts out with relaxing tunes and melody. Due to the song name, it was hotly anticipated. Unfortunately there is some giggling which takes you right back to reality.

“Sensual Couple” too much kissing noises. A couple slapping noises, I assume they were friendly slaps since they broke out into full on intercourse. Mix feelings on this one.

And lastly, PAO favorite song 8, “Threesome And Rainy Days”. It was a pleasurable listening experience from start two finish. The female vocalists did a heck of a job. A HECK OF A JOB. Whoever mixed this track is a genius.

Another hidden gem:

“Thunderstorms And Sexual Pleaseure”.

PINEAPPLEOPE SCORE:

*******
7 out of a possible 10

*WORTH NOTING: There are no secret songs hidden at the end of the disc.

You’ve always wanted to be really good at giving bikini and Brazilian waxings. Here is your chance to become a pro. Pineappleope.com is proud to offer free internet waxing degrees. Simply watch the following film:

“I am the best waxer now. Thanks PAO”
-David C.

“Didn’t know it was SO SIMPLE. Until Now”
-AJ

“I was always messing up. Now, I am a professional and make a living off waxing”
- Michelle T.

Made specifically for ravers – Australia’s original glow in the dark lingerie

BUY IT NOW: LuminoGlow

Continue to our Glow Gallery: Read the rest of this entry »

Peanut Gallery:

“I’M A BIG OL’ BEAR!”

“I wanted to be a pastry chef!”

“grow some balls man.”

Holo, readers.

Today is Monday, and Mondays in the offices we usually dig into the mailbag to hear what yous have to say. Not much to report today since really, who writes letters anymore? We did, however, get one gem to share. Check. This. Out: Read the rest of this entry »

Banging two bitches at the same time is easier done than said when you study and follow these easy three-way tips.

1. Have Massive Parties
We’re talking – an overcrowded lawn of at least fifty people, music blared so loudly across the block that only gesticulating and smiling is necessary, beautiful bodied women indulging in booze and a mutual attitude of recklessness. Everyone should be sufficiently lubricated (liquor-wise…) as you position yourself near the young, single bunch ‘o bitches. Start talking up two bitches, alternating equal attention to both. Keep it up, making sure they are connected not only to you, but to each other – try to get them flirting with each other, bitches at parties often do. The more relaxed they become with three-sided banter, they closer they come to the three-sided bedroom.

2. Jacuzzis
Jacuzzis activate sensuality in all bitches. The next time you find yourself beside the bubbly jet with a couple of bitches at a dispersed party, seize your chance. Sit yourself between the two of them, drawing them in with conversation with subtly insinuating talk. Make it clear through flirtation that you’re attracted to both and not one in particular, otherwise the other prospect will forfeit. Splash around, throw jokes and make the jacuzzi your personal bathtub and by the time you’re brave enough to instigate, they’ll practically be expecting it.

3. Friends On Vacation
Though two straight best friends definitely provide a scenario different from two seasoned lesbians, girls on vacation can unleash the craziest desire for sexual deviance. Might we say, moreso than two seasoned lesbians. When meeting two chinese, brazilian, botswanan, mexi or malato or whatever friends perusing the liquor selection at your local bar, offer to show them a good night on the town. Sheapard them around to your favorite places, treat them like your gorgeous, little bitches and end the night with the blitzed three of you bouncing around your pad.

Continue to #’s 4 through 13 >>> Read the rest of this entry »

There comes a point in ones life when you screw up your tan, and get an uneven tan. Instead of blaming the sun, you can fix your uneven tan! Follow these 12 easy steps below:

Step 1. Locate your uneven tan.
Step 2. Locate a towel
Step 3. Drive to your county tanning salon with your towel
Step 4. Enter county tanning salon
Step 5. Ask for a 40 minute session
Step 6. Enter tanning bed room
Step 7. Take off your clothes
Step 8. At this point you should be nude, unless of course, you are a never-nude
Step 9. Cover the tanned part of you with the towel
Step 10. Enter Tanning bed
Step 11. Tan as long as it takes to make the untanned skin match the tanned skin
Step 12. Eat a hand sandwich

Check out our exclusive tanning photos >>> Read the rest of this entry »

With Memorial Day weekend almost here the anticipation for the weekend grows each minute, at Pineappleope.com. It is fortunate for Pineappleope.com staff that the Pineappleope.com staff have been awarded this Memorial Day weekend.

Here are some promising activities to keep you busy through out this long holiday weekend:

1) Frisbee with your wife

2) Frisbee with shades on

Great Job Team

Pineappleope.com is suiting up for the 2nd biggest weekend of the year, Kentucky Derby Weekend. For the uneducated, the Kentucky Derby is a horse race, quite famous in PAO offices around the country.

As a special Treat from Pineappleope.com to you, here is a secret recipe to construct the Official PAO Traditional Kentucky Derby Drink, the Mint Julip Elixir

4 c. water
2 c. sugar
4 c. loosely packed fresh mint leaves, chopped
4 c. bourbon
Crushed ice
Fresh mint leaves

Combine water and sugar in a medium saucepan; bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium and cook for 10 minutes. Reduce heat to low, add chopped mint leaves and simmer 30 minutes. Let syrup stand at room temperature overnight. Strain. Fill julep cups with crushed ice. Combine bourbon and mint syrup; pour over ice. Garnish with mint.

Top 2011 Contender: Mucho Macho Man

Beach season can be very exciting. The problem: For the first few weeks, this excitement can be overwhelming – Because up until a few weeks ago, we were only able to see half naked woman from the screen of our PC’s (where it is acceptable to have a monster erection). It’s sort of like seeing a lion at the zoo vs seeing one out in the wild.

We know this transition can be difficult, so we’ve outlined a few tips for you this summer season.

Dig A Hole In The Sand – At the first signs of giant hard-on some of us tend to panic and roll over immediately. This can be painful if not executed properly. And depending on your shorts, there is a possibility of your little buddy getting a sneak peak of some sun light. Stay calm and dig a small hole where your pelvic region meets your towel. This will allow your yogurt slinger to safely and comfortably retract.

Pretend Like You’re Stretching – Stretching at the beach is commonly practiced, so you won’t have to worry about looking awkward. People will think you’re about to go for a jog or a power swim. Hiding a boner will be the last thing on anybodies mind.

Place Beer Between Legs – If you’re in a situation where you’re in a lawn chair, you may not want to lose your seat. Fear not, this is but a perfect opportunity to crack open another cold beer.

The beer can works in two ways.

1. It can be used to cover an unwelcome bulge.
2. The chilling beer can works as an electric fence when it comes into contact with your penis.

Conclusion: The first few weeks of beach season can be a true testament of one’s willpower and focus. When venturing away from your towel to retrieve more food and beverages, we’d suggest that you keep your line of site directly in front of you. If at anytime you become distracted, just think of this guy.

via Helpful tips to conceal your boner at the beach .