Pineappleope.com

Sometimes, working for a high profile, high powered company like Pineappleope forces you to test limits. It forces you to do whatever it takes to get things done. Today was a day like that. Drink all afternoon and then log into work at midnight. The team is counting on you. What do you do???

1. Concoct a beverage to keep things interesting. Guinness and iced coffee. DONE.

2. Get your stuff done. DONE.

3. Wait on inferior teammates to do their shit. Not done.

4. In case of 3 failing, like it is right now, analyze PAO stats.  PAO stats are a never ending source of knowledge and power.

5. In case of 4, share with the world some of this new power that feeds your brains. SO, what do creatures of the night need from PAO? Here’s a rare glimpse into the private data of PAO datacenters..

Claymation porn

extreme bikini

Maria+Kanellis+playboy

vanessa hudgens nude

olympic nipple slips

looking+at+a+boner

ashley+tisdale+no+clothes

carrie prejean video

jessica+biel

So there ya have it.. no one wants anything but some hot action tonight. Way to go, team. Way.. to.. go.

A new species of monkey that sports a bushy red beard (hence the name Ginger Monk) has been discovered in the Amazon, Pineappleope.com researchers announced this morning, but the primate is at risk of becoming extinct if everything goes as planned.

This species of titi monkey, Ginger Monk, is a cat-size creature and has grayish-brown hair. Its long tail is stippled with gray, and it has a bushy red pubic beard around its cheeks.

Unlike other monkeys closely related to it, Ginger Monk does not have a white bar on its forehead, environmental group Pineappleope International said Thursday. The finding was also published in the journal Primate Conservation.

“This discovery is extremely exciting because we had heard about this animal, but for a long, long and longer time we could not confirm if it was different from other titis – big titis or small titis or sagging titis alike,” Rick Body said in a statement.

Unlike most primates, these titi monkeys form lifelong relationships. Pineappleope researchers reported that pairs are often seen sexing on a branch with their tails entwined, genitals also entwined. They usually have one baby per year.

Great Job Team

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Preparations commence for August. August is the eighth month of the year in the Gregorian Calendar and one of seven Gregorian months with a length of 31 days.

This month was originally named Sextilis in Latin, because it was the sex-filled mating month in the original ten-month Roman calendar under Romulus in 753 BC, when March was the first month of the year.

About 700 BC it became the eighth month when January and February were added to the year before March by King Numa Pompilius, who also gave it 29 days.

Julius Caesar added two days when he created the Julian calendar in 45 BC, because he enjoyed the mating month, giving it its modern length of 31 days. In 8 BC it was renamed in honor of Augustus, who did not take a day from February.

BLOW YOUR MIND WITH THIS FACT:
In common years no other month starts on the same day of the week as August, though in leap years February starts on the same day.

Pretend you are multi-lingual:

- In Filipino, the month is called agosto

- In Dhivehi, the month is called Augastu

Symbols of August:

August’s birthstone is the peridot or onyx. Its birth flower is the gladiolus or poppy (The Heroin Flower), meaning beauty, strength of character, love, marriage and family.

nuff said.

You are dumb, but your brain is smart. Why? READ ON! Read the rest of this entry »

PETA says:

So, anyone who’s anyone watched Heroes. Come on, you know you wanted to save that cheerleader right? Yeah you did. We all did. Well that cheerleader is growing up fast – and it looks like Hayden Panettiere is not totally sure of what side of the sex fence she’s on. Rumors fly around that she’s into dudes, chicks, and occasionally both.

Really – she’s been caught flashing and putting her mouth on all kinds of things lately.. from breasts to big trophies. PAO investigated and caught her in many acts..

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POLL TIME. Personally I enjoy bikini time but PAO recently interviewed Olivia Wilde to see what she thought about it all.. click through to find out more.
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Some of us leave work early more often than others. Sometimes to eat at Fuddruckers. For those of you who do leave work early and often, the majority of you are known as the awesomes of the office. However, with the right mix of creativity and operational excellence, you can become an early exit-er without consequence.

The following tips will have you moving up the corporate ladder from the seat of your couch in no time:

Do not wear a jacket. If a jacket is absolutely necessary, try to hang your jacket in the main lobby area our outside of busy areas where people will see you wearing a jacket. Wearing a jacket wreaks (smells) of “I’m heading out for the day”. The absence of a jacket relieves some of the anxiety involved in leaving work early.

Keep your computer logged on and if your workplace has an instant messenger device, ALWAYS stay logged on. We’re fully aware of the fact that most corporations require you to log off at the end of each day, or at the very least, lock your computer. Locking your computer automatically triggers your status to “Away” on most versions of corporate instant messaging software. This is an absolute no-no. By keeping your computer on and remaining logged on, not only do you have the ability to leave whenever you want, but you can also arrive whenever you want.

If possible, time delay meaningless e-mails. Microsoft Outlook provides a time delay option that allows you to write and send a message long before it is actually sent. Best practice is to delay these emails by 2 hours. If you plan on leaving work at 3pm, be sure to time delay the email for 5:13. The random time provides further proof that you were in the office past 5pm and lessens any chance of a manager detecting the time delay. As for the content of the email, it is always safe to ask questions in which you already know the answer.

Always search for alternate escape routes. Most buildings have multiple exit paths. Side doors, back doors, and fire exit staircases are your best friend. Make sure to mix it up and NEVER, EVER use the elevators.

Always leave your jacket hanging on your chair. If someone is looking for you, they’ll think you’re at a meeting or in the bathroom. More often than not, the visitor doesn’t return because they rarely have something important to say.

Always schedule doctor or dental appointments in the early afternoon, but not too early. Tell your manager you’ll make up the hours in the morning. Always be aware of your manager’s typical arrival time. For example, if your manager always arrives at 8 a.m. and you’ve got a dental appointment at 3 p.m., tell your manager you’ll come into work a couple hours early. Rather than showing up at 6 a.m. show up at 7:55 a.m. The previous day, utilize item #6 and time delay an e-mail to be sent at 6:06 a.m.

Religious scientist and dear friend of Kirk Cameron discovered God is really real. Findings came while eating a banana, a yellow banana with a soda-can like top. Could the banana man be god? Can you speak with god on your banana phone? Did god make a time banana? Did you say wet banana? Watch the video and FIND OUT!

Religious Experts and Scientists said what:

- if bananas prove anything, it’s that cultivation works. And, of course, cultivation is a form of selection (under domestication), which is exactly how Darwin starts to explain natural selection.

Now a word from Jon Lajoie >>>> Read the rest of this entry »

BP’s top science brains will attempt to slammabam down on the slappy oil well that has been gushing deadly darkass goop into the Gulf of Mexico – TODAY.  How: the coveted ghost-face “top-killa” method, where heavy ass drilling mud is forced deep, deep into the the hole. Sounds like my Friday night, bitches!

According to TV GUIDE, most food bloggers do not get discounts. In the end, most restaurant reviews are generally negative. – May 3rd 2010 Issue

Thanks TV GUIDE and MarriedtothSea

Grab your Sushi Bonus >>> Read the rest of this entry »