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You WILL . In the NEAR FUTURE. For more awesome things like this, you ought to head over to futureinthepast.com . Find out your Future. Yesterday.

APRIL 3

*Only Wi-Fi models of the futuristic semi-laptopable computer will go on sale that Saturday, while ones with 3G networks will be released later in the month.

Details on the new features:

- Super VGA mode, mainly for browsing the internet

- 8 x 6 Official iPad Microfiber Cleaning cloth, which can double as a napkin

- Mii-like avatars

- Adult (18+) Apps

The iPads will run you a pretty penny at: $499 for the 16-gigabyte version, $599 for the 32-gig version and $699 for the 64

Someone asked me once, “if it rains fish, are we all going to die?” – a very valid question. The answer – “maybe”. It really depends what kind of fish.. but the cause of the fish rain will not kill you. Blow fish or sea urchins WILL kill you. No doubt.

If it rains sharks, however – they will eat you from above, so its not even killing, its like god smiting you.  Think of the sharks as lightening – its just your time, buddy.

So.. WHY does it rain sharks and other shit? Asshole tornadoes are the cause – here’s how it happens.

non-believers say:

Would you consider yourself a person with a sexual attraction to machinery? Or do you have a serious case of robot fetishism? You might very well be a Technosexual!

HARD FACTS:

- A new study shows 6 out of 20 computer users, both male and female, prefer the company of an electronic device over that of a living being.

- 98% of woman technosexuals claim they prefer a vibrator to a man… But scientists believe the main reason behind this behavior is that they do not have a husband/boyfriend.

- 43% of technosexuals get sexually aroused by the sound of electronic bass.

- 8% of male technosexuals are attracted to only computer pornography.

- 35% of technosexuals seek out like-minded technosexuals at public places that offer a free WIFI connection

- Both Male and Female technosexuals spend several hours a day taking part in one of more of the following: heavy duty chat room activity, writing a Blog entry, or thinking of something witty and philosophical to post onto his/her favorite discussion board or newsgroup.

Next Page: Technosexuals and the internet >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Rule One: If its a thumbnail size image (less than 150×150), its SFW, regardless of what is in the thumbnail. Example: Image search results on google.com with safe search off = SFW.

Rule Two: If the image does not show nipple or bush, it is SFW

Rule Three: If the image in question features a woman with clothing on, its SFW, regardless if the clothing is see through

Continue Studying the rest of this Guide >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Friday is the day of the week falling between Thursday and Saturday. A recent Poll shows that 68% of Celebs, A-Z listers, hold Friday as their favorite day of the week. PAO has attempted to generate a photo-list of the top Celebs who think Friday is tops. Keep reading to find out if your Favorite Celeb likes Friday

H-lister Mara's favorite day of the week, Friday, Vinyl Bi-sexual Swingers night at Club Nitrogen in SD

H-lister Krystal Forscutt spends time at the Salisbury beach on friday's, her favorite day of the week

See the rest of the Celebs who like Friday the MOST >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Here we have a film based on yellow notebook paper detailing the exact history of the universe. What ever confused you about this beginning of time will be clarified by watching.

The Big Thinkers thought:

- surprisingly good enough to jerk off to

Collect your BONUS VIDEOS >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Yep, Here she is. Babe Olympian Leryn Franco, ex javelin thrower (summer Olympics) … Doing what she does best

You are probably old enough to see the following photos, if you’re not, turn back >>> Read the rest of this entry »

This is a very special message about your eyes. However the only way to view it is by SQUINTING. Please squint and read!!!

To learn the secret to overcoming this issue, keep on reading.. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve been a prostitute, and I have been with a prostitute. As with any business, the things I’ve learned can be applied to other hookers. I’ve decided to take my years of knowledge as a storyteller, computer programmer, and motivational speaker, and distill that knowledge for the up and coming hooker.

1. Work out. This one easy step will lead to stacks of money in your pockets. Clients pay Top Dollar for good looking, super hard bodies. Check it…

Continue reading “How to Become Twice as Profitable as a Hooker” >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Don’t go buying giant overized, really heavy, stinkin like jet fuel, crayons.

Alcohol affects the brain like an anaesthetic. In fact, one of the very first anaesthetics ever used in medicine – ether – is based on alcohol. As with anaesthetics, the more alcohol take the more of our brain it shuts down. The abilities we acquire last in life, like controlling our behaviour, are the first to be lost. The abilities we acquire first, like being able to breathe, are the last to go.

The Scientists said:

- Does someone have let’s sayy around 25 extra beers I can borrow?

- drinking is the best thing in earth try it some time you will understand
Read the rest of this entry »

Did You know: Washington’s Birthday is President’s day?? Similar to the Matrix 2, Washington’s Birthday is a United States federal holiday celebrated on the third Monday of February. As mentioned above, it is also commonly known as Presidents Day). As Washington’s Birthday or Presidents Day, it is also the official name of a concurrent state holiday celebrated on the same day in a number of states.

Official PAO Countdown Clock to President’s Day 2010:

She likes swimming in America and swimming with Presidents

Check out ALL the Babes of President’s Day >>> Read the rest of this entry »

After many months and years and years, and what seems like decades, scientists have finally discovered several reasons behind the development of ‘Man Boobs’ aka ‘Moobs’. Studies have shown as many as 46% of males have developed ‘moobs’ ranging in size from B to FF cups. In fact, ‘moob operations’ for men have shot up by 80 percent in the past year in the U.S alone.

Top 5 Reasons Men Develop ‘Moobs’:

1. You are Fat

Most often, man “breasts” are actually just fat: You won’t be able to feel any firm tissue, just lard. Clues are that both sides are affected equally and they wobble when you run.

To cure this is quite simple: Slim down. Only consider surgery if you’ve tried that and you really want those assets stripped.

2. You are Old

Your breast tissue tends to swell — known in the trade as gynaecomastia — any time your hormones are up the spout. That includes both extremes of age — baby boys because of the influence of your mother’s hormones and older men because their testosterone levels are flagging.

This is normal and harmless. It’s common in adolescents, too. Though normal, you should always wear a black t-shirt at the beach.

Continue to the last 3 reasons for your moob growth >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Banging two bitches at the same time is easier done than said when you study and follow these easy three-way tips.

1. Have Massive Parties
We’re talking – an overcrowded lawn of at least fifty people, music blared so loudly across the block that only gesticulating and smiling is necessary, beautiful bodied women indulging in booze and a mutual attitude of recklessness. Everyone should be sufficiently lubricated (liquor-wise…) as you position yourself near the young, single bunch ‘o bitches. Start talking up two bitches, alternating equal attention to both. Keep it up, making sure they are connected not only to you, but to each other – try to get them flirting with each other, bitches at parties often do. The more relaxed they become with three-sided banter, they closer they come to the three-sided bedroom.

2. Jacuzzis
Jacuzzis activate sensuality in all bitches. The next time you find yourself beside the bubbly jet with a couple of bitches at a dispersed party, seize your chance. Sit yourself between the two of them, drawing them in with conversation with subtly insinuating talk. Make it clear through flirtation that you’re attracted to both and not one in particular, otherwise the other prospect will forfeit. Splash around, throw jokes and make the jacuzzi your personal bathtub and by the time you’re brave enough to instigate, they’ll practically be expecting it.

3. Friends On Vacation
Though two straight best friends definitely provide a scenario different from two seasoned lesbians, girls on vacation can unleash the craziest desire for sexual deviance. Might we say, moreso than two seasoned lesbians. When meeting two chinese, brazilian, botswanan, mexi or malato or whatever friends perusing the liquor selection at your local bar, offer to show them a good night on the town. Sheapard them around to your favorite places, treat them like your gorgeous, little bitches and end the night with the blitzed three of you bouncing around your pad.

Continue to #’s 4 through 13 >>> Read the rest of this entry »

* Keep your eyes on the worker to the left of the News man’s head.

To win a valuable prize: Name the babe in the photos.

Also, Helpful Tip for looking at Puerno at work >>> Read the rest of this entry »

We discovered this infographic to answer this burning question.

The answer? Pretty much. PAO recommends not to fly over water anymore. PAO further estimates that there is most definitely a Mega Shark living in the Bermuda Triangle. Explains a lot, huh?

Do you, Do you think. Do you think that the following images are SFW or NSFW? Since this is such a complex question, polls will not work, Leave you answer in the comments.

Image #1:

Image #2:

Continue SFW/NSFW >>> Read the rest of this entry »

You are captured and held hostage by several most wanted criminals, mostly rapists… Follow these simple rules to survive:

And the big question.. WTF does it look like?? Here are the best renderings we’ve got:

Read the rest of this entry »