Pineappleope.com

We are deep undercover getting exclusive footage of the Oilpacolypse. Check out what’s going on right now! BTW, its like, 4 degrees above freezing or some shit. Freezin. Care to Chat it up while you watch? Yeah you do – meet some ladies here!

These two crack-smokin orgs have proposed some insane BS in a recent letter to the Office of Intellectual Property Enforcement. Check it:

• The installation of spyware on computers which would seek out and automatically delete illegally obtained media
• Censorship of the internet which would block the transfer of illegal files
• Giving border guards the authority to search one’s tech gear for illegal files
• The lobbying of foreign governments to follow suit
• Having the Department of Justice and Department of Homeland Security actively and swiftly enforcing copyright laws

At PAO, employees are restricted from using the term ‘Kudos’ unless referring to the chocolate covered candy bar kudos.

The reason behind this? The word ‘kudos’ sucks

Don’t let yourself be caught using the term ‘kudos’, under any circumstance – or you might die

‘Kudos’ used in a sentence:

“Kudos to Pineappleope.com photographers for snapping a photo of Anne Hathaway’s boobs”

Well, its official. We’re all gonna die. If you think eating is better than doing drugs to cure your woes, you are wrong. Food is drugs, officially – according to health.com . And not entry level, easy going drugs – food is like COKE and HEROIN, smoked and injected into your eyeballs. Its that bad. Don’t eat. Seriously. Stop… its for your own good. And don’t do drugs.

Oh, yeah, read the full story: Read the rest of this entry »

As a Doctor, I get questions about medical things very often. That’s why I like to share that information – I’m a Doctor. I know “my shit”, as urban terminology goes.  Today’s question comes from young Felicia Anderstienenson from somewhere in Europe. She asked if “bald people can use a hair dryer”.

Well, little lady, I can’t say I fully understand what you are getting at. Its not like you have to be in a special club to use a hair dryer – a monkey could use one. So bald people aren’t excluded based on membership or anything like that.. but, I suppose, since they don’t have hair, they wouldn’t NEED a hair dryer. They’d need a “head dryer”. But would a head dryer differ? I think not. So.. to answer your question, you stupid asshole, YES.

A few kind words:

PAO Received this garbage from Google Adsense following our Petition to get reinstated. For those uninformed, Adsense was fortunate enough to be PAO’s main advertiser until they screwed PAO out of roughly $10 G’s.

Hello,

Thanks for providing us with additional information. However, after
thoroughly reviewing your account data and taking your feedback into
consideration, we’ve re-confirmed that your account poses a significant
risk to our advertisers. For this reason, we’re unable to reinstate your
account. Thank you for your understanding.

As a reminder, if you have any questions about your account or the actions
we’ve taken, please do not reply to this email. You can find more
information by visiting

https://www.google.com/adsense/support/bin/answer.py?answer=57153.

Sincerely,

The Google AdSense Team

Boycott Google Adsense.

Great Job Team

Do you know someone who just won’t be quiet when you want them to? Do they just talk and talk and make you want to put a gun to your head? Well, here are possible steps to shut them up.

1. If they start talking to you, look away.
2. Pretend that they aren’t there and walk away
3. If they ask why you’re ignoring them, don’t answer their question.
4. Keep avoiding them for as long as possible until they get the message and stop talking to you.
5. Don’t ever smile
6. Make up medical excuse, escape the situation
7. Just tell them to shut up. Be serious about this and don’t show them you’re joking.
8. If in doubt, just ask the person to be quiet.
9. Tell them that you don’t care about what they’re saying. And to shut up
10. Walk away, walk it off
11. Find a way to keep their mouth closed, possibly with force.

Even being Apple Insiders here at PAO, this Apple Event kinda snuck up on us. Not extensively, but usually the fart winds of this bullshit storm start getting loud many moons before the actual explosion of marketing garbage. We have gotten many complaints today, in fact, about folks only tuning in to see the live blog, but no “foreplay” rumor posts. Well.. we apologize. Maybe you missed some of the other big stories we’ve had lately – those take up time, so STFU and SMD.

Anyway, here’s a little helper, to help you help yourself. How to spread a rumor:

Take down your annoying co-workers in silence: The blow gun. The choice stealth weapon for taking down everyday opponents.

A blowgun (also called a blowpipe or blow tube) is a deadly weapon consisting of a small tube for firing deadly projectiles such as darts. The wielder blows into one end, forcing the dart out the other as high velocity.

VERSUS

Checkout our FULL Blow Gun Review -Jungle Blow Gun (The JBG)

** Also worth mentioning, Scissors can do the job – Slightly less silent but are easily accessible in an office environment, or when your blow gun is just out of reach.

jerbear and alycia tied the knot yesterday in a quiet ceremony in Lynn, MA, that promptly erupted into a teenage dance party. Many people ended up being arrested for MDMA posession, prompting Cambridge police to leave their own jurisdiction to make additional false arrests. Arrest records have yet to be expunged from LDAP. The happy couple will be honeymooning at an undisclosed location under heavily armed guard, due to recent threats from a disgruntled construction worker known on the Internet only as “John”. John did not respond to requests to be interviewed, and may have already escaped to join the Foreign Legion.

President Obama today spoke out against the Cambridge Police.

BREAKING NEWS:
We have recieved exclusive footage of the wedding ceremony!