Pineappleope.com

Sometimes, working for a high profile, high powered company like Pineappleope forces you to test limits. It forces you to do whatever it takes to get things done. Today was a day like that. Drink all afternoon and then log into work at midnight. The team is counting on you. What do you do???

1. Concoct a beverage to keep things interesting. Guinness and iced coffee. DONE.

2. Get your stuff done. DONE.

3. Wait on inferior teammates to do their shit. Not done.

4. In case of 3 failing, like it is right now, analyze PAO stats.  PAO stats are a never ending source of knowledge and power.

5. In case of 4, share with the world some of this new power that feeds your brains. SO, what do creatures of the night need from PAO? Here’s a rare glimpse into the private data of PAO datacenters..

Claymation porn

extreme bikini

Maria+Kanellis+playboy

vanessa hudgens nude

olympic nipple slips

looking+at+a+boner

ashley+tisdale+no+clothes

carrie prejean video

jessica+biel

So there ya have it.. no one wants anything but some hot action tonight. Way to go, team. Way.. to.. go.

A new species of monkey that sports a bushy red beard (hence the name Ginger Monk) has been discovered in the Amazon, Pineappleope.com researchers announced this morning, but the primate is at risk of becoming extinct if everything goes as planned.

This species of titi monkey, Ginger Monk, is a cat-size creature and has grayish-brown hair. Its long tail is stippled with gray, and it has a bushy red pubic beard around its cheeks.

Unlike other monkeys closely related to it, Ginger Monk does not have a white bar on its forehead, environmental group Pineappleope International said Thursday. The finding was also published in the journal Primate Conservation.

“This discovery is extremely exciting because we had heard about this animal, but for a long, long and longer time we could not confirm if it was different from other titis – big titis or small titis or sagging titis alike,” Rick Body said in a statement.

Unlike most primates, these titi monkeys form lifelong relationships. Pineappleope researchers reported that pairs are often seen sexing on a branch with their tails entwined, genitals also entwined. They usually have one baby per year.

Great Job Team

PAO will not be closing. The FBI has rescinded on the closing of PAO

Great Job Team

Check out last year’s Annual Beach Day party from PAO, Inc! From fantastic fireworks every week, 19 in all, to 80 free summer concerts, PAO Annual Beach Day has something for everyone. Come marvel at the Masters of Adult Sand Sculpting in June, find out who will be Miss PAO 2010 in July, show off your talent at the annual PAO Beach Day Talent competition, or feel like a kid again in August on Catholic Clergy Day, and see the season end with our famous 3-Day Old Seafood Eating Contest in September. But please, don’t sit around waiting for these and other special events!

Because everyone knows that the annual PAO Beach Day is a great day at the beach and a whole lot more! Check out the action!!

Independence day falls on July 4th this year, for most Americans and Jessica Simpson, it is this coming Sunday.

For only US citizens this is a Federal holiday commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain. While US citizens don’t have to work on the 4th, you will still see illegal migrants manning hot dog stands and crushing lemons for fresh lemonade.

A few observations:

Great Job Team

PAO would like to congratulate itself, for being one of the top web properties ever. Happy July!

PAO staffers occasionally disagree about important issues. When these situations arise, we usually just execute one of the dissenters. This sends a stern message to the rest of the staff to get along. But when the issue is trivial, we don’t advocate fatal punishments, we encourage the workers to resolve their differences using pranks and fisticuffs. One example is to lure another employee into a discussion about LDAP or Twatter or your boring fishing blog. This is a pretty extreme punishment, so in general lets try simpler, more corporal punishments. Below, you can see this strategy in action, captured on one of the many surveillance cameras we have setup throughout PAO world headquarters.

• Tags: corporal punishment, HR methodologies, HR techniques, punish derrick 
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