The Sling is back for 2012. The sling swimsuit style all but disappeared in 2011 with the resurgence of the one-piece. PAO staffers were on hand when the major swimwear corporations unleashed their 2012 lines. Here is a quick, by quick PAO means slow, run down:
Classy Pansy - Look like a flower in this violetish swim suit
"The Black Belt" - The sling that looks like a belt, but is actually quite a bit more functional
Scientists working overseas in conjunction with local PAO scientists have developed the speediest and least invasive breast augmentation technique. Electrocute your boobs into enlargement
Focus Group Feedback:
- I need to take a trip to Asia !
- is there such a thing as an ugly chinese woman?? I don’t think so…
- IF USED FOR TOO LONG BOOBS MAY EXPLODE IN YOUR FACE
- FUCK I WANT ONE FOR MY ASIAN GIRLFRIEND
- 20 bucks says most women end up with this thing down their pants.
One day until Christmas. Official notification from Us at Pineappleope.com. This will be the LAST update on XMAS countdown.
Due to the impending holiday, PAO will not be featuring a Q&A session today. Pineappleope.com would like to inform you about the lack of coverage expected next week, due to PAO’s mandatory holiday break.
Two days until Christmas. Official notification from Us at Pineappleope.com.
During the Countdown Pineappleope.com will be fielding questions from our readers (submitted to chief@pineappleope.com):
To: PAO Why does Santa have a white beard? From: Lisa, UK
International question, woah. Thanks Lisa. Well santa clearly doesn’t shave, which is why he has a beard. The reason its white is most likely due to the age of santa.
Three days until Christmas. Official notification from Us at Pineappleope.com.
During the Countdown Pineappleope.com will be fielding questions from our readers (submitted to chief@pineappleope.com):
To: PAO Why is Christmas celebrated on the 25th of December? From: Jerome, TX
Jerome, thanks for the question. I’m personally not a religious man, so I don’t quite have the answer for you. What I do know, is that the 25th of December has something to do with the holy guy Jesus. My best guess is that Jesus was born on Christmas and in some way or another, transformed into santa.
Seven days until Christmas. Official notification from Us at Pineappleope.com.
During the Countdown Pineappleope.com will be fielding questions from our readers (submitted to chief@pineappleope.com):
To: PAO Is Santa Real? From: Theresa, FL
Theresa, I just want to first thank you for your question, thank you. In short, No. No, sorry. He is just a character made up by some adults. Basically it is just a silly rumor to get children to do what they are told. Parents are the ones who put presents in your stockings.
Ten days until Christmas. Official notification from Us at Pineappleope.com.
During the Countdown Pineappleope.com will be fielding questions from our readers (submitted to chief@pineappleope.com):
To: PAO Is Sexmas a real Holiday? If so, Is it celebrated on December 25th? From: Amy C., MA
Well, Amy, that is certainly a good question. Sexmas is an awesome variable for the term “X-mas” which in turn is a bastardation of the winter holiday celebrating the birth of Christ, “Christmas”. Not necessarily referring to a Christmas with sex. Sexmas could be celebrated any day of the year, not just on December 25th. Though on December 25th, Sexmas could be celebrated. Merry Sexmas And A Happy New Year!
-perrf, PAO Author
You had a rough year, we know. Your mom knows. PAO wants to help. Since you clearly missed the 2010 Christmas shopping deadline, despite our continued efforts to help, we are still happy to have you as a fan. We’ll continue posting ideas up until the actual last minute of Xmas. I think we’re currently entering the final fortnight. Its frightening, man. So here’s some pocket salvation. Not Salviation – salvation.
Finally – its Pocket Geisha! She’s hot! She’s dancing! And she’s YOURS. Buy your pocket geisha NOW!
Two weeks until Christmas. Official notification from Us at Pineappleope.com.
During the Countdown Pineappleope.com will be fielding questions from our readers (submitted to chief@pineappleope.com):
To: PAO Why do chicks want to make out with me under mistletoe?
From: Ritchie, WY
Thanks for the question, Ritchie. The custom of making out under mistletoe may be related to a super hot Scandinavian goddess (possibly pictured above). Frigga, the goddess of love in Norse mythology, is strongly and sexually associated with mistletoe, which has been used as a decoration in homes for thousands of years. Mistletoe is associated with many pagan rituals. In fact, the Christian church disliked the plant so much, thanks to its pagan associations, that it forbade its use in any form, even the smoke form. Some English churches continued this ban as late as the 20th century. According to Charles Panati’s excellent book, Extraordinary Origins of Ordinary Things, holly became a Christian substitute for mistletoe, which is why we “deck the halls” with it. The sharply pointed leaves in holly were supposed to symbolize the thorns in Christ’s crown and the red berries were to symbolize his blood. And so, all of that is why we suck face under it. Its also been known to enhance holiday cheer. -P.Segal, PAO Employee
Costumes for Christmas – an age old European idea, loved by people around the world. It unfortunately died out many many centuries ago, once this Santa Clause clown became popular.
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