Monthly archive October, 2009

[governator] California Walmarts will begin selling coffins

Walmart Coffin Sales

Walmart Coffin Sales

Facing monumental state budget deficits, this morning Governor Schwarzenegger used his emergency powers to “nationalize” Walmart stores in California, and he has new plans on where to take the company and its products. Our undead reporters have the scoop, it appears that the next product line to be offered by Walmart with be a full range of funeral services.

Full story after the break
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[Date Rape] Shocking new trends in pill use among teens

teengirlsIn an awful turn of events for young people, local experts have just learned some shocking news at the local high schools. Young women, accidentally reading odd emails in their inboxes, are not able to obtain massive amounts of drugs for cheap. The drugs appear to be coming from Canada – and that’s not even the crazy part. What’s truly shocking about this case is that the girls aren’t using these pills for their own devices.

pill-cocktailIn fact, researches explain that most of the imports are forms of “rufies” and “male enhancement” pills. What are the dangers of girls having their hands on “date rape” drugs? Well.. lets recall that

Flunitrazepam is known to induce anterograde amnesia in sufficient doses; individuals are unable to remember certain events that they experienced while under the influence of the drug. This effect is particularly dangerous when flunitrazepam is used to aid in the commission of sexual assault; victims may not be able to clearly recall the assault, the assailant, or the events surrounding the assault.

chemistOk, braniacs, yeah you think “so they are knocking guys out.. SO WHAT??” Well – that’s apparently where the “little blue pill” comes into play. In an outright shocking turn of events, the little chemical cocktail that these girls are putting together turns off your brain, but fires up your weenie (aka willie, aka boner, aka schlong, aka one eyed monster, aka purple headed warrier).

Just what happens is still a mystery. It does leave victims in the most vulnerable position possible though. No one’s going to call for help – they are out COLD. But who knows how long their stiffies will last – possibly to medical emergency lengths!? It is a dangerous fact, that girls are out there, trying to take advantage of you. It happened to this guy, “Mr. Cookies” as he called himself. rufied

I thought these girls were like, cool, ya know. Met them online – you know what game I play – and we got together for a LAN party. I thought it was going to be fun, just games and shit. Well I woke up in my basement 39 hours later, and umm, I.. I can’t tell you the rest. It was horrifying.

pill-man Civic authorities are slow moving in this cause, unfortunately. Feeling that there’s “no harm to be done” and that guys are “getting a taste of their own medicine”. It is scary and shocking to think that these early warning signs are being ignored. Warnings of what, you ask? It is clear… the shocking conclusion follows:
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[Halloween] Pumpkin Head in Tights Invades KXVO News

Brought to you by Pineappleope.com and KXVO News in Omaha, NE

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[Holiday] Countdown to Halloween 2009 – 2 Days Left!

You heard it here first! 2 Days Until Halloween 2009! HALLOWEEEN

hweencostume

Be on the lookout for these choice 2009 Costumes >> Read the rest of this entry »

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[Not Safe For TV] Jaguar versus Anaconda – Battle of the Serpent Cat

You haven’t seen this one before. The ultimate fight to the death. Large Snake versus Large Cat. The outcome will surely blow your brain.

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[special blankets] move over slapchop

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[TV] The Simpsons Intro Remixed by Lego Enthusiasts Locked in Closet

This is the result of locking a nerd in a closet with bucket of legos, boombox, and an 80′s video camera.

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[Chicks, man] Ever seen Kate Beckinsale do a video like THIS?

Kate Beckinsale is kinda hot. Kinda. And our peanut gallery says:

“i’d take that fur right off”
“she needs a .. hand..”
“i’d take her into a back alley”

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[Nip Slip] Sexy ‘oops’ in Twilight movie – cut scene! Hot nipple!

Never I have seen footage of a sexy “nip slip” in movie of Twilight!

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[Holiday] Countdown to Halloween 2009 – 5 Days Left!

You heard it here first! 5 Days Until Halloween 2009! YESSSSS
crotch[1]

pants party

More Inspired 2009 Costumes >> Read the rest of this entry »

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