Pineappleope.com

In a surprise move, skateboard legend Tony Hawk has retired forever from skateboarding, as reported in an exclusive release to PAO press officials. While the mainstream media scrambles to catchup on this story, pineappleope.com brings you video of Tony Hawk’s newest endeavor. “Tony plans to dominate pogo competition the same way he dominated vert skateboarding,” Hawk’s close friend and advisor stated during a cell phone conversation earlier this morning.

One of the Top Paid Actors and PAO favorite, Tony Danza, was caught talkin shit about Local News on a Local News interview. Pineappleope.com and Danza see eye to eye on the subject of Local News… here is the clip

Australian police are looking for the nail gun specialist accused of killing off a Chinese man who was shot 34 times in the head and neck with a nail gun before being dumped in a river.

The 34 nails were found during a post-mortem examination of Liu’s body, and were located mainly in his skull. They were fired from an 85 mm nail gun at close range, Lonny the Detective said. Police have not recovered the weapon.

So far detectives have come to this conclusion: “We certainly believe the nail gun is responsible for the death — there’s no doubt about that,” detectives said.

I never would have guessed it.. but the time has come. Bird flu was a scam, a lie, a cheat – and now look, Swine Flu has pounced on our asses like stink on a flu ridden pig. PAO offices are all abuzz over this outbreak, fortunately with no cases reported yet. Staff scientists have been recruited away to NASA’s testing grounds, unfortunately, so we cannot work on our own remedy this week. What we can do, fortunately, is help YOU track it.

The flu is tracking its way up through Mexico, and then exploding across the country in a never-before-seen type of epidemic. Some rumors are flying that the US Government is calling on Milla Jovovich for advice on how to handle such a situation. Milla, as you know, has much experience battling epidemics – primarily those involving zombies.

Jovovich did say “they all start like this.. its always the pigs. America had better get ready.” Fortunately for us – no one complains when Milla comes to town. She tends to not wear a lot of clothes and carries all kinds of weapons. She continued “when I battle the early onset of an outbreak, I start going after the swine with blunt objects.”

Below, PAO Researcher Chaz Reinhold displays his data findings from the weekend. He will be updating this map hourly throughout his tracking of the disease from a secret underground lair.

Track the flu NOW:

View H1N1 Swine Flu in a larger map

Talk about a not so Kablammo day. Das preggo chick, see? Car booboo das chick cuz she running away mon.

Over yonder Vincent Drive and Woodman Road in nearby Colorado Springs and around Thursday morning. Ashley Swendson was her name-oh! She preggo by 6 months mon. “I heard a rustle. I looked behind me and it was a bear – 2 feet away.” she said to LA Times reporter Tammy Vigil. “I freaked out and start running. It was chasing me for about 20 seconds.”
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Car enthusiasts everywhere are having heart attacks and strokes, frickin octal bypass. This is serious. The health of americas die hard car junkies is fading, fading fast. Just announced as part of their restructuring plan, GM has announced it will KILL its Pontiac line.

For the completely uneducated, this means No More Firebirds. The Pontiac Firebird is the lifeblood of americas car industry. Just take a look at the breathtaking photo accompanying this dreadful article.

Its unclear whether or not GM will actually follow through with this restructuring plan… but it most likely will if GM has any intention of not killing itself off.

Pineappleope.com will keep you posted. At least 3 members of Pineappleope.com rock Pontiac Firebirds, does this mean no more hood replacements? Time will tell

This Gentleman Wizard gets tased at Cochella

Words cannot describe the sheer mayhem and destruction this video captures!

One of the best ideas yet and best ways to improve your business is the meatcard. Meatcards.com offers meat business cards, meatcards. As they say, they begin with beef jerky and sear your contact information into it with a laser. A fine invention

Pineappleope.com explained yesterday about the recent failure to sell the child star of Slumdog Millionaire. Today there have been rumblings of a sequel to the Hit film. Slumdog Millionaire 2, as it would be called, is in pre-pre-pre-production currently. None of the original actors will be re-cast in this follow up. Back in India they are having mass auditions for the new child star for the sequel. Here is a clip from the auditions

This 16 year old Australian, Corey Delaney , hosted a bender at his parents house while they were away. Police had to call a Police Helicopter to the scene when some of the 1000+ party-goers began throwing bottles at police cars. Dog squads and cop choppers were deployed. Police chief commissioner Christine Nixon said police are considering asking the boy to foot the bill for the operation, which involved 30 officers. Heres what Mr. Delaney had to say… hes not takin off the glasses

To: Lunch Bunch

Shut the fuck up

From: Dr

The father of a child star in the oscar winning movie “Slumdog Millionaire” tried to sell his 9-year-old woman (Rubina Ali) to a reporter posing as a wealthy sheik.

The Father, Mr. Ali, was willing to sell Rubina Ali up for $400,000, cops said.

The transaction never went through. Rubina has evaded slavery once again. Slavery is still huge in India, which most people don’t know. Most Indian slaves serve as straight up slaves. Around 50% of slaves in India are required to dress like Princess Leia when she was a slave in the famous movie ‘Star Wars: the Final Frontier.’ The accompanying photo should give you an idea what this lifestyle is like.

Indian Cops are still questioning Rubina’s father. It is likely that he will come away with only a slap on the wrist due to the lax slavery laws in India

Do you sleep?…. well i heard somewhere that angels dont sleep