Reality TV superstar Jon Gosselin, from the hit reality show Jon and Kate Plus 8, was photographed dry/moist humping a mystery women on the dance floor… without his wedding band. It was not a normal night out for Jon, whos usual nights out consist of quick dinner at Carls Jr. and dessert at DQ.
When questioned about the mystery woman in the pictures, Jon would not do any name dropping, just saying, “What makes me sick is that my careless and carefree behavior has put my family in this uncomfortable position. But, I have no regrets. Go Bruins” When questioned about which sickness he was referring to Jon said, “I could barely walk.”
THIS ISN’T THE FIRST TIME JON HAS STRAYED FROM KATE AND THE EIGHT
In February, the 32-year-old Jon was spotted flirting and attempting to kiss several coeds at Juniata College, multiple students confirm to Us Weekly. He told one coed “he was getting divorced.” In the May Ladies Home Journal, he says, “I always thought I would be, like, 54 years old and marry a 19-year-old or something.”
WOAH – Jon and Kate Plus 8 is getting trashier by the day! – as expected
President Obama has had 100 days to do magical things as the most powerful man on the planet of earth. Has he lived up to Pineappleope.com’s expectations? In one word, no.
Where are the promised soda machines in the PAO cafeteria? Where is my $100,000 stimulus check? Why are Pontiac’s not going to be manufactured any longer? Why is there a Portuguese water dog living in the White House?
Where did Obama’s first 100 days in office go wrong?
All signs point to this: On his first day in office, Obama talked on the phone in the Oval Office without a jacket, breaking tradition.
Yes, Obama appears to be a bit flaky … but truth is, he has several more 100 days in office. Will Obama redeem himself? Time will tell
Mexico City, MX – PAO bargain hunters recently ducked into a vintage outlet store in an effort to avoid some infected swine flu carriers in downtown Mexico City.
The situation ended very positively – turns out the swine flu-ers were not infected – they were actually Mexican drug czars dressed up in pig suits, in their own efforts to avoid both the pig flu swine pandemico (pandemico is Spanish for pandemic).
The other positive note here is that our correspondents took refuge in some vintage Ikea furniture – likely left in Mexico hundreds of years ago by Swedish settlers Ponch de Leon and Columbono. The old furniture was intact with impossible to follow instructions and totally stupid tools. In the chair pictured here, the tools were empty shotgun shells which attached to some sort of wingnut contraption.
PAO’er Lance Monstoke said “it was like a monkey with piggy swine flu trying to fly fish in salt water”. Sounds awful, Lance. He and Maria Chowdon, our 20yr old Brazilian intern, both enjoyed their time in the shop.
The chair does maintain a very rustic attitude of the olden times in Sweden – these days its nothing but hot bikini clad blonds – back back in the day, things were a bear! Literally! Chairs and cars alike. This Bear Chair actually could walk, with a mini steam powered engine inside the assembly. Very cool – unfortunately the engine was removed in Mexico as a precaution. Swine flu is spread by steam and energy which is how it made the jump to humans from piglets.
In any case.. our researchers managed to bring this chair home for a hefty price of 35 pesos, and 2 viles of our in-house experimental swine vaccine. Nice work guys!
There is an excellent surf in Teahupo’o, Tahiti. Bodyboarding pioneers Mike Stewart and Ben Severson surfed Teahupo’o in 1986 and it soon became an underground spot for thrill-seeking bodyboarders. Few professional surfers rode Teahupo’o during the early ’90s and it was only in 1998, at the Gotcha Tahiti Pro, that Teahupo’o became widely recognized as having some of the heaviest waves in the world. This is some of the best Teahupo’o footage on earth
It may come as a surprise to some, but the USA has been infected by SWINE FLU.
Didn’t see the PAO SWINE FLU TRACKER? Well, here is an update – 91 Cases of swine flu in the USA. ONE CHILD in Texas has succumbed to the swine flu.
According to PAOhilton.com, The virus has been reported in 10 states (Luckily avoiding key and strategic PAO offices), and the number of people infected with the 2009 H1N1 influenza strain grew a lot in the U.S., the CDC said Wednesday. That number includes the first U.S. swine flu fatality: a 22-month-old child from Mexico who died of the illness Monday at a Houston, Texas, hospital.
SWINE FLU TRANSMISSION UPDATE: Hand Sandwiches have been found to not be the cause of Swine Flu transmissions. In fact, a good hand sandwich may prevent the spread.
12 Gauge Guns such as the shot gun can handle most jobs whether its poking holes in something, assisted suicide, or huntin’. What might be new to you, is the 12 gauge’s insect extermination use. If you got a bee problem and a 12 gauge… you aint gots the need ta call the extermanator
Since Pineappleope.com gets most of its news on Pineappleope.com, employees don’t very often watch TV news (not really necessary since the Pineappleope.com launch). However, Pineappleope.com does get a glimpse into TV news via TV news clips posted on Pineappleope.com. Today we are featuring an unexpected/half-expected blow up by Fox News Champ, Bill O’Rielly who has become more of a regular on the Fox News show, The O’Rielly Factor
When reviewing food for as discerning an audience as Foodenator’s, it is very important to correctly identify and correlate the actual food with the review being written. As a Foodenator critic, I would not want to write a review for Cousin Franco’s new lunch bistro while eating a sandwich purchased at SubGiant. It wouldn’t be fair to Cousin Franco or to Aunt Bottomtooth. In this case, I can’t even tell you what kind of apple this is. Gala? McIntosh? Hard to tell. So I am not going to review this apple. Instead I am going to draw all of you Foodenators into a vicious debate on the merits of neutering fruit.
This apple was carefully and deliciously dissected by underpaid Foodenator lab techs. No seeds were found. We looked on the outside, like you would find on a strawberry. No dice. No seeds either. We dove deeper, below the skin if you will. By the time we reached the core, morale has high. Surely we would spot seeds or seedsign. Our lead food engineer postulated the existence of “dark anti-seeds” that could indicate the location of the elusive seeds. But even analysis by gas chromatograph and magnifying glass could not locate any sexual organs whatsoever on this fruit. Obviously this fruit had been neutered at some point. The investigation continues… stay tuned.
Apple: ******** 8 (out of 10)
Neutered Fruit: * 1 (out of 10)
This video will show you how to pass hours, even days, so quickly it will feel like tomorrow is today (the cousin of Future in the past). No drugs required, just a sheet of paper
In a surprise move, skateboard legend Tony Hawk has retired forever from skateboarding, as reported in an exclusive release to PAO press officials. While the mainstream media scrambles to catchup on this story, pineappleope.com brings you video of Tony Hawk’s newest endeavor. “Tony plans to dominate pogo competition the same way he dominated vert skateboarding,” Hawk’s close friend and advisor stated during a cell phone conversation earlier this morning.
One of the Top Paid Actors and PAO favorite, Tony Danza, was caught talkin shit about Local News on a Local News interview. Pineappleope.com and Danza see eye to eye on the subject of Local News… here is the clip
Australian police are looking for the nail gun specialist accused of killing off a Chinese man who was shot 34 times in the head and neck with a nail gun before being dumped in a river.
The 34 nails were found during a post-mortem examination of Liu’s body, and were located mainly in his skull. They were fired from an 85 mm nail gun at close range, Lonny the Detective said. Police have not recovered the weapon.
So far detectives have come to this conclusion: “We certainly believe the nail gun is responsible for the death — there’s no doubt about that,” detectives said.
PAO CIO Franklin Peestone battles Swine Flu with his personal army of pigeons
I never would have guessed it.. but the time has come. Bird flu was a scam, a lie, a cheat – and now look, Swine Flu has pounced on our asses like stink on a flu ridden pig. PAO offices are all abuzz over this outbreak, fortunately with no cases reported yet. Staff scientists have been recruited away to NASA’s testing grounds, unfortunately, so we cannot work on our own remedy this week. What we can do, fortunately, is help YOU track it.
The flu is tracking its way up through Mexico, and then exploding across the country in a never-before-seen type of epidemic. Some rumors are flying that the US Government is calling on Milla Jovovich for advice on how to handle such a situation. Milla, as you know, has much experience battling epidemics – primarily those involving zombies.
Jovovich did say “they all start like this.. its always the pigs. America had better get ready.” Fortunately for us – no one complains when Milla comes to town. She tends to not wear a lot of clothes and carries all kinds of weapons. She continued “when I battle the early onset of an outbreak, I start going after the swine with blunt objects.”
Below, PAO Researcher Chaz Reinhold displays his data findings from the weekend. He will be updating this map hourly throughout his tracking of the disease from a secret underground lair.
Talk about a not so Kablammo day. Das preggo chick, see? Car booboo das chick cuz she running away mon.
Over yonder Vincent Drive and Woodman Road in nearby Colorado Springs and around Thursday morning. Ashley Swendson was her name-oh! She preggo by 6 months mon. “I heard a rustle. I looked behind me and it was a bear – 2 feet away.” she said to LA Times reporter Tammy Vigil. “I freaked out and start running. It was chasing me for about 20 seconds.” Read the rest of this entry »
President Obama has had 100 days to do magical things as the most powerful man on the planet of earth. Has he lived up to Pineappleope.com’s expectations? In one word, no. 
It may come as a surprise to some, but the USA has been infected by SWINE FLU.
Jovovich did say “they all start like this.. its always the pigs. America had better get ready.” Fortunately for us – no one complains when Milla comes to town. She tends to not wear a lot of clothes and carries all kinds of weapons. She continued “when I battle the early onset of an outbreak, I start going after the swine with blunt objects.”