Pineappleope.com

This here, is an instructional video/walkthrough on how to make a mustache. Don’t pay attention to the videos ‘fake mustache’ title – this is very real.

Things you’ll need:
1. One match
2. One Upper Lip
3. Backup match

Just so you don’t miss a step, make sure you have the proper tools listed above before watching the video, its your responsibility.

Brought to you by Future in the Past. Pineappleope.com caught word that a Tobacco plant virus may yeild HIV drug.

The tobacco plant could (99% likely, see FitP) soon redeem itself in the eyes of public health experts and YOU, say Pineappleope.com scientists who are producing huge amounts of a powerful but expensive HIV drug inside modified tobacco leaves.

“This is very significant news,” says Largebuck

Once harvested, these modified tobacco leaves will be rolled into hand-crafted cigarettes under the working label ‘HIV Wides’ and sold off at prohibitively high prices.

Click for demonstration Read the rest of this entry »

The following is an advertisement.

Starring Vinny Apache

Sometimes a story comes up that is so nasty, so crazy, and so amazing, that PAO just HAS to get involved. When staffers found this article, it was clear that this was one of those cases. Some background:

“Aquarium staff have unearthed a ‘giant sea’ worm that was attacking coral reef and prize fish. The 4ft long monster, named Barry, had launched a sustained attack on the reef in a display tank at Newquay’s Blue Reef Aquarium over recent months. Workers at the Cornwall-based attraction had been left scratching their heads as to why the coral had been left devastated and – in some cases – cut in half.
After staking out the display for several weeks, the last resort was to completely dismantle it, rock by rock.

Halfway through the process the predator was revealed as a four-foot polychaete worm. Staff eventually lured it out with fish scraps, but not before it bit through 20lb fishing line.”

Don't mess: The tropical worm is covered in thousands of bristles which are capable of inflicting a sting resulting in permanent numbness

Are you fcking serious? PAO researchers could not believe the amazingness of this discovery. So we dug deeper. We opened books, turned on computers, and fired up the Iphone App Store. The aquarium didn’t look too far to make a bold assumption as to where it came from.. the spokesmen we talked to was “basically claiming it came as a larvae on a rock they imported from Mars”.

Kind of silly, if you ask us – why blame outer space? PAO usually knows the “truth lies within” – people are to blame. Usually ones that are involved with the water, drugs, and the internet.

And just how? Why? What? Take a look at our major, massive, crazy discovery. It took over 5 months of fact checking and googling! READ ON FOR THE SHOCKING TRUTH: Read the rest of this entry »

Apple’s 3g iphone (tresG for our Spanish speaking audience) has made its way into my hand this past weekend. The 3g has replaced my original iPhone, which was unable to stay in one piece during its short life (8months). The iPhone gets most its use for internet pornography (see:LubeTube) and checking stocks, mostly.

In my time with the 3g I have been somewhat satisfied. Lets run through some of the PROs:

1. it is black – black makes it looks cool and hip and can help get you into hard to get into clubs
2. its 3g – this phone actually rings when people call and makes phone calls when you make a call, unlike the original, which had connectivity issues
3. MazeFinger compatible – Mazefinger the app still works on the 3g.
4. Its louder – The phones speaker is noticably louder, which enhances some existing apps, like atomicFart
5. GPS is solid – I can now locate myself better, instead of a big circle surrounding the state i am in, the gps equipped iphone 3g can now pinpoint where im at. (note: it doesnt track how you got to said destination)

CONTINUE READING the CONS and FINAL WORD and FINAL RATING Read the rest of this entry »

PAO hates liars. Especially fat ones. So when someone says.. “there’s no such thing as a free lunch”, the PAO Myth Busters get called in.

After many experiments, we came up with two BUSTERs for this slogan.

1. There “was” a free lunch.. but you were too slow to get it – or, more likely, someone was too fat and greedy, and ate it all before anyone else could get it.
2. There “is” a free lunch.. but.. its poisoned. You can take your chances and eat for free.. but you might die a slow, greasy, painful death.

Read the rest of this entry »

The medical community has been battling over ’shaky leg syndrome’ and ‘restless leg syndrome’ for years. Pineappleope.com discovers new syndrome within the offices of Pineappleope.com – the ’shaky hand syndrome.’ Here is a video of classic shaky hand syndrome. Notice the hand shaking.

The only treatment? Eating a lot, putting on so much weight into your hands that the shakiness is weighed down so heavily the hand does not shake because its to lazy to move so much weight

wait for 1:30

[Update] – the original videos been removed, sucks. so its been replaced with a pleasant video not nearly as good but contains some really quality skinshots

Pineappleope.com brings you an unedited unrated 9 minute sneak peek at the summers m.a.j.o.r. blockbuster, with the working title ‘PAOctagon’

PAO knows you are self conscious about the size of your bank account. We are, too – hell, who the fck isn’t? That’s why we sunk hundreds of dollars into R&D on this economy-proof penny pinching market we’ve invented. Fck Fast Food. This is SUPERfastfood. Oh yes – starting today, at vending machines around the world – you can get PAO branded FRENCH FRIES and PIZZA!!! No more lines at fast food – no more Super Size scams – this is cut and dry – get your grease fix for a prix fix.

PAO CFO "johnny b" at PAO HQ, testing out some PIE.

I like to dress her up in different outfits and then do it all over again

BE A GLADIATOR, Click to continue Read the rest of this entry »

Pineappleope.com Employees… If you could not afford your rent or mortgage, you would turn to:

*Unlike other polls, this one is scientific

Fact: The last full day of winter is (was) March 19, 2009. Spring and the Vernal Equinox starts the following day… despite this Ground Hog’s Opinion.

LIGHTS OUT

Loaded with around 4,800 calories, twice the daily recommended limit for men, the Fifth Third Burger has five beef patties, five slices of cheese, sour cream, a cup of chilli salsa and corn chips. The burger, named after the West Michigan Whitecaps’s ball park and the meal’s five beef patties, which each weigh one third of a pound (136 grams), also contains a whopping 300 grams of fat, 744 milligrams of cholesterol and more than 10,000 milligrams of salt.

Well.. WOULD YOU?

You find yourself in a situation, in a dark ally, some guy pulls a glock on you and all you got is a carton of cigarettes. What do you do? Quickly make a shiv… from a cigarette

After getting tossed from a bar and a fight with a bouncer… this man drives his truck into the bar, and again, and again…

Its a glorious Tuesday here at PAO as we launch yet another ground breaking internet phenomenon! Its the new, improved, and unsurpassed PAO ASKS! In this series, we’ll pose a question, usually with a photo or top notch video.. and YOU, viewer, simply comment and add a response. Its fun, easy, and you can do it in the privacy of your own home. And with that said..

PAO Asks: Would you do it?

Martina Hingis is done with tennis, shes Mostly known for her tennis skills. Why is she done tennis? Because of the lesser known fact is that Martina is a cocaine enthusiast.

*Martina Hingis tested positive for cocaine during Wimbledon in 2007
*Martina Hingis denied using the drug
*Martina Hingis was banned from tennis for two years for the cocaine offense
*Martina Hingis throws in her tennis towel and will not return to the sport after the ban

She said: ““My only performance enhancer is love of the game.”…. “and a little blow between sets”, claims our unnamed inside source.

Hingis is also well known for usually being outspoken and “sharp-tongued.” Probably due to cocaine binges on, and off the court.

Click Through for more never before seen scandalous pics of Martina Hingis Read the rest of this entry »