Pineappleope.com

…The Pineappleope.com Thanksgiving 2008 Countdown continues.

Less than 1 day left

Happy Thanksgiving from all* of us here at Pineappleope.com

*Including employees that do not observe

Never going to let you down

Never gunna give… Never gunna give… Never gunna give

CAUGHT! RED HANDED! Infamous Mark Chill was caught defacing internet websites today, approx. 1:20pm PST (4:20pm EST).

Click below for full damage report….
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WAY TO GO teeem! We rocked that huge push today and surely are securing the future of crafts, ALL over the world.

Hi, and welcome to the Pineappleope.com Thanksgiving 2008 Countdown.

1 day* left

*This statistic does not include the current day (Tuesday November 25, 2008)

Hi Folks and Loyal Fans,

   I will be out on safari this week and won’t be submitting to Pineappleope until my return. I thought I wouldn’t be able to get the time off, but luckily I caught my editor typing up the following post:

Dear Boys and Men,

   I am 5′10″ brown eyes, 7 full inches, uncut -

I caught him that far into it and threatened to post it for him if he didn’t give me the timeoff. Well screw him I am posting it anyways! CIao – Buenos Tardes – Mnsr. Duke de la Largebuck

Down with the crafting industry

Know about snus before your friends!

“”It looks fun, actually…. I’d probably buy this just because it looks cool.”

READ MORE

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HowStuffWorks “How Exploding Manholes Work”.

Pineappleope.com employees were severely effected by manhole explosions early this morning. No heat, No electric, No internet, No hot water, no lights. We here at Pineappleope.com discussed the options of half-day, day-off, or full work day sans showering (for some of us con sensitive teeth, sans brushing teeth). Obviously, executive decisions were made, we are in the office.

“…Resorted to dusting off ’stache of late 80’s nudimags to build strength and achieve mental balance for work … It was like man VS wild, sorry I was late” -CHINEESEYES

Good news we here at pineappleope.com do not lose a full day revenue. Unfortunately, when contacted, authorities do not know exactly when or IF the situation will be resolved today. We will keep you posted.

Click below for greasy palm…
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I find the rest of this post absolutely critical when I am traveling in the Pineapple Jungles of our neighbor continent to the southeast. Critical, irregular, and incorrigible.

Pineappleope.com Just received threats from Nstar Electric Telephone Operator, electricity Will be shut off unless the August bill from our OLD Office space is paid in full. Bitch. As far as we at Pineappleope.com are concerned, thats an old bill, water under the bridge, We Don’t Work there anymore. Clear, right? Wrong, she gave Pineappleope.com Finances and Acquisitions a bunch of guff and a month to pay it off. We are going to be implementing invasive banna ads all around the site which Will consist of lots of fancy technaalagy, cutting edge, which will track your likes, dislikes, facebook activity, and who knows.

Don’t be alarmed when you see the bannas, you are still on Pineappleope.com, its the same site, just with some bannas. This entire banna ad campaign is to raise money for the august bill, so all ya don’t have to donate because, here at Pineappleope.com, we simply don’t believe in it.

I was in LA to interview some retired Sri Lankan sea pirates. As a gesture of goodwill, their former captain allowed them to share the secrets of their tiger toe tea with me. So naturally, I brought a supply of horny goat weed and a video camera. While I was waiting at the Vulcan Secret Tea House under the 7th Hole green at the Montebello Country Club for my party to arrive, I managed to get this footage of Jeff Goldblum and his party chatting in the next tea room:

my kids loved it, i have it on podcast

While scanning a decomissioned State department laptop for LDAP queries I came across this evidence of the undead. AP refused to publish it so I present it unlive and uncut.

Essential xmas gift, the limited edition adult version is the one to look for.

Today at Pineappleope.com, we are taking a moment to reflect on the move to our new office space….

And now for a moment of silence, please

One of our employees, lets just call this person Pete, has found himself seeking a permenent restraining order against a man he believes is stalking him, who has made pete fear for the safety of himself and his friends and pets.

According to papers filed by the employee in Los Angeles Superior Court, and obtained by me, Pete claims J. Aron Largebuck, 68, has been “stalking and harassing” him and allegedly turned up at his home multiple times, claiming God sent him visions related to Pete.

In his declaration, Pete claims that Largebuck first surfaced in 2002, and “engaged in obsessive and harassing behavior.” The employee claims he sent him “multiple packages and letters containing delusional and paranoid thoughts,” and followed him “around the country, through multiple different states.”

He claimed that he “resurfaced” within the last year and “his obsessive and harassing behavior has escalated to the point of becoming dangerous and threatening.”

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Pineappleope.com employees took part in a ‘planned’ evacuation at our new office bright and early this morning at 7am PST (Pacific Standard Time, USA & Canada).

Evacuations are more common than many people realize. Hundreds of times each year, world wide web and internet accidents release harmful substances, forcing thousands of people to leave their offices. Fires and floods cause evacuations even more frequently. Almost every year, people along the Gulf and Atlantic and Pacific and Indian and Panama coasts evacuate in the face of approaching mayhem.

When office evacuations become necessary, bosses provide information to the employees through the use of different media. In some circumstances, other warning methods, such as sirens or telephone calls to employees, also are used. Additionally, there may be circumstances under which you and your co-workers feel threatened or endangered and you need to leave your office, cube, or workstation to avoid these situations.

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A new week brings a new health question….

Dear Cecil,

My roommate brings home a lot of random guys from the bars each weekend. She typically picks them up in Roxbury and East Boston. Im not positive if she sleeps with them but it sounds like it when I listen at her door each night. Do you think I can pick up STD’s from our shared toilet seat?

thank you,Sally

Click the link below for Cecils response….
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