2010 not only brought in a new decade, it also launched the new Major League sport of Synchronized Video Dancing, the MLSVD. Hugely popular in the Orient since the late 1980’s, Synchronized Video Dancing is coming to the West full steam with several major television stations signing on such as CBS, TNT, and A&E.

The following is a video of MLSVD star, Ming Luaning, the top paid player in the league:

*Ming scored an exceptional 7.8 – quite a difficult routine ringing in at a 5.5 degree of difficulty

If you made it through this entire film… collect your bonus >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Are they doing this on purpose? Did god do this? If so, then why? This shit turns me on, and will likely get you off in similar fashion. The video is less ‘hilarious’ and more ’sexy’. If you can take the sex, you will no doubt love the video.

Nature Enthusiasts said:

- how mature

Nicolas Cage was AWESOME in Ghost Rider. Nick Cage was AWESOME in Knowing. Nick Cage was AWESOME in Bangkok Dangerous. But this is BY FAR PAO’s favorite Nick Cage film:

Critics said:

- Nick Cage is awesome.

- Nicolas Cage must be destroyed

Two Thousand Ten, Year of the Beach. Before hitting the beach, make sure your swimsuit collection is up to date with the latest and greatest technologically advanced swimwear on the market.

Here are some new styles for 2010
- Speedo’s Sling Bikini in Yellow, pink, camo and green (pictured after the break)
- Teflon’s new Teflon Sling bikini
- The 50/50 (polyester/cottom) Sling Bikini

Check out some of the new styles, captured on camera:

Much More technologically advanced swim wear after the break >>> Read the rest of this entry »

After many months and years and years, and what seems like decades, scientists have finally discovered several reasons behind the development of ‘Man Boobs’ aka ‘Moobs’. Studies have shown as many as 46% of males have developed ‘moobs’ ranging in size from B to FF cups. In fact, ‘moob operations’ for men have shot up by 80 percent in the past year in the U.S alone.

Top 5 Reasons Men Develop ‘Moobs’:

1. You are Fat

Most often, man “breasts” are actually just fat: You won’t be able to feel any firm tissue, just lard. Clues are that both sides are affected equally and they wobble when you run.

To cure this is quite simple: Slim down. Only consider surgery if you’ve tried that and you really want those assets stripped.

2. You are Old

Your breast tissue tends to swell — known in the trade as gynaecomastia — any time your hormones are up the spout. That includes both extremes of age — baby boys because of the influence of your mother’s hormones and older men because their testosterone levels are flagging.

This is normal and harmless. It’s common in adolescents, too. Though normal, you should always wear a black t-shirt at the beach.

Continue to the last 3 reasons for your moob growth >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Banging two bitches at the same time is easier done than said when you study and follow these easy three-way tips.

1. Have Massive Parties
We’re talking – an overcrowded lawn of at least fifty people, music blared so loudly across the block that only gesticulating and smiling is necessary, beautiful bodied women indulging in booze and a mutual attitude of recklessness. Everyone should be sufficiently lubricated (liquor-wise…) as you position yourself near the young, single bunch ‘o bitches. Start talking up two bitches, alternating equal attention to both. Keep it up, making sure they are connected not only to you, but to each other – try to get them flirting with each other, bitches at parties often do. The more relaxed they become with three-sided banter, they closer they come to the three-sided bedroom.

2. Jacuzzis
Jacuzzis activate sensuality in all bitches. The next time you find yourself beside the bubbly jet with a couple of bitches at a dispersed party, seize your chance. Sit yourself between the two of them, drawing them in with conversation with subtly insinuating talk. Make it clear through flirtation that you’re attracted to both and not one in particular, otherwise the other prospect will forfeit. Splash around, throw jokes and make the jacuzzi your personal bathtub and by the time you’re brave enough to instigate, they’ll practically be expecting it.

3. Friends On Vacation
Though two straight best friends definitely provide a scenario different from two seasoned lesbians, girls on vacation can unleash the craziest desire for sexual deviance. Might we say, moreso than two seasoned lesbians. When meeting two chinese, brazilian, botswanan, mexi or malato or whatever friends perusing the liquor selection at your local bar, offer to show them a good night on the town. Sheapard them around to your favorite places, treat them like your gorgeous, little bitches and end the night with the blitzed three of you bouncing around your pad.

Continue to #’s 4 through 13 >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Today is Wednesday Reader Opinion Day, where your opinion counts – Babes having NSFW Fun, Who’s having the most fun??

A little background on ‘nsfw’:
What does NSFW mean? Not Safe For Work… Not Suitable For Work…
Used in a sentence: zulumassacre.com is on the cusp of NSFW.

Continue to the “Who is Having the Most NSFW Fun” Poll >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Forget Elmo, forget Pokemon.. this year’s craze can be just one thing..

* Keep your eyes on the worker to the left of the News man’s head.

To win a valuable prize: Name the babe in the photos.

Also, Helpful Tip for looking at Puerno at work >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Thanks to http://www.superpoop.com/

To the disappointment of Spring, Phuxitony Phil the Groundhog saw its shadow today, Ground Hog day 2010. PAO got its hands on the rodent Phil, and shot some before after pics

PHUXITONY BEFORE PAO

SEE WHAT HAPPENS!! EXCLUSIVE AFTER PIC >>> Read the rest of this entry »

everyone’s favorite game is BACK, and energized with pure PAOwer!!

fire those cuddly kittens out of the cannon and hit something that  bounces – OR NOT!!! aim with your arrows, fire with your space bar. KILL KILL KILL!!

PLAY KITTEN CANNON NOW >>> Read the rest of this entry »

Amazing Backstory: Man goes on Turkish television to prove he has “Magical Powers” but when they say he doesn’t, he flips the fuck out.

Magic Enthusiasts say:
- Yep….I’m convinced

- all that over a camel

Tuesday Morning Bonus Time >>> Read the rest of this entry »

First off – I didn’t even know Pee Wee was still alive. Second, what’s an abstinence ring? And THIRD – what in holy green hopper earth did he do for Steve Jobs to GET one?

Simon “Wet Dick” Bergeron describes his brilliant movement – the Fellatio Truth Movement – and gives hard facts that support the need for this over any other movement. For instance – a BJ can take just a few minutes.. saving the environment? LIFETIMES.

Pineappleope fully supports and contributes large sums of money to the Fellatio Truth Movement .

Read the rest of this entry »